has anyone managed to pay for private school on a lowish salary? I am so worried about ds going to state school

[unhw]

Me and ex are divorced. DS is 3.5. Ex pays me 700 a month, he never sees DS so obviously that amount would change if he did start to see him.

I have been to some schools near here to look at them because if ds does go to a private school then I would want him to go to the nursery part too, from the word go. At the moment he goes to a nursery near the house which is average at best, despite an outstanding ofstead rating.

The schools are awful. There are so many kids. Barely any smartly dressed. Seems to be no order and organisation. Pick up is 3:20 (?!) so god knows what would happen to my job.

I really really want him to go to private school and the one I’ve seen is around 18k a year for primary. Has anyone done this on a low salary and if so how? Did you move house or downsize etc. I don’t want to do anything extreme but my priority is this and I would do what it takes it there’s a way.

try and get a bursary. Otherwise, it all sounds a bit unrealistic and in relation to primary school, unnecessary. I doubt he’ll thank you for being the “poor kid” at private school. There must also be other schools than the ones you’re looking at

Your earnings are significantly higher than average. You need to readjust what a low salary is. You currently earn more than 80% of households. Your lower salary is higher than 70% of households.
Whether that is enough for private schooling, well, you need to do the maths. It will probably depend on your outgoings -mainly mortgage.

I'd also look at what secondary fees look like - they can increase rapidly as you go through the school.

Tax? NI?

at £65k allowing for pension contributions etc OP would take home £3.5k

£1500 a month for fees (now not including the inflation busting increases) leaves £2k for everything so I would say no - not affordable.

A few thoughts as the parent of two children in private school ...

1. Private primary is absolutely worth it if you can stretch to it. It's laying the foundations in terms of substantive knowledge and attitudes to learning.
2. Some schools do offer bursaries (some up to 90% for primary).
3. You won't be judged on how much you earn, well at least by the vast majority of people. If anyone is shitty with you because you don't have a gold-plated Range Rover etc then they aren't worth knowing.
4. Uniform can be bought second hand.
5. A lot of after school clubs and sports are either free or affordable.

I guess it very much depends on the individual school and where in the country you live.

What do you mean free to roam. My year one child isn't allowed to and is classroom most of the time.

Have to say I’m a bit speechless at this one. You’ve judged two schools based on the appearance of the children and have made all sort of assumptions about the teaching and the quality of care based on that? What else can you tell us about the ethos of those schools, their pastoral care ? I would research the schools properly and potentially move house to be in the catchment for a good state school with wrap around care. In the SE you are likely to pay up to £20 per day for breakfast and after school club ( cheaper elsewhere). In my town there are no bad schools really and the school my DD starts in September is a non-selective girls state school with above average academic results. ( and a nice feel!)

People pay a lot for Forest school where the whole point is the freedom and outdoor play.

You earn £76k.

Sell your house. Move into a one bedroom flat. You can sleep in the living room. That should free up the £2k a month you need to afford this. Your parents have said they are going to pay for holidays.

I think you are insane, but if that is what you want to throw your money away on, knock yourself out.

OP you sound like you’ve just landed on Earth from another planet to be honest.

If all state schools aren’t good enough for your precious son then you’ll have to find a way to pay for private. Simple.

So your take home is what, about £3.5k per month?

School fees would be £1500 per month before lunches, trips, uniform, wraparound care (school holidays). So call it £2k.

Can you live on £1.5k per month plus maintenance? It could be doable but seems quite precarious unless you already have lots of savings or a tiny mortgage.

“Low salary” = £76k

jesus wept op.

At the moment he goes to a nursery near the house which is average at best, despite an outstanding ofstead rating

What are your issues with the nursery?

👏🏻

Oh do fuck off and research a bit then.

Before you do though, try removing your head from your butt.

OP, firstly your salary is not low. After fees, depending on where in the country you are, you will manage. But those are primary fees. Have you researched secondary fees? Will your drop in salary reverse and increase further by the time your child is 11. If not and you can't afford private secondary school fees then primary is a waste. Save the fees and at an appropriate time pay for tutors and extra curriculars.

This was definitely available at my daughter's school and was part of their qualification for charitable status.

I do remember that feeling of terror when little ds in his teeny cardigan and curly hair was deposited in what seemed like chaos; we arrived early to pick him up ad the teacher told us he'd been hit by another child that day. It was a bad moment.

However, I am a massive fan of a proper British state primary school, at least the way they used to be. Tbh we should be a lot prouder of them than we seem to be. They were firmly based on principles of child development and the importance of freeform play. I held my nerve and ds was very happy there. He's 19 now and of course from this end I'm certain it was the right choice. A big influence on me was the peer group, and a proactive group of parents who did a lot of reading to the children, increased the music at the school etc. Do you have local friends whose children you like? Are they all going to private school - is that the problem?

I think on your salary your most realistic options are 1. Wait for secondary 2. Retrain and teach at a private school to get money off fees.

Very rarely from Reception and unheard of for nursery in my neck of the woods.

Most will offer from Y3/Y4

Your salary is high. This thread is ridiculous.

Look at the attainment scores for primaries, are you in a good area?

My child is in an outstanding primary. Kids are limited to 30 of course and they have a teacher, full time TA and a part time TA. Her reading is fantastic, we do quite a bit at home too but can’t fault the school.

I think the money is a bit wasted at primary, if you’re that bothered save up towards a private secondary then make a decision. The important exams are all in secondary school anyway.

It truly is a ridiculous thread

And if you have to pick between the two, paying for the private school lifestyle is far cheaper than paying for the schooling itself. E.g. getting your kid into a junior ski club, riding lessons, music lessons, NT memberships, private tutors etc.

People assume my sister and I are privately educated frequently, but we actually just had academic parents who sent us to state school and put a lot of effort and value on education.

Look in the mirror and say to yourself "I cannot afford the lifestyle for my child that I imagined they would have". Then say it repeatedly until you believe it.

Hi op. I worked in several private schools.

Have a visit and meeting with the heads at several schools and ask what discount is available. Negotiate. Offer to get involved in the life of the school and volunteer. Is your child smart? Good at music/art/sport/drama? Tell them your child will be happy to play in the school sports team/orchestra etc etc etc, and is impeccably behaved!

Some schools will say no, some will say yes.

Good luck.

Agreed

Honestly op you are wired to the moon