has anyone managed to pay for private school on a lowish salary? I am so worried about ds going to state school

[unhw]

Me and ex are divorced. DS is 3.5. Ex pays me 700 a month, he never sees DS so obviously that amount would change if he did start to see him.

I have been to some schools near here to look at them because if ds does go to a private school then I would want him to go to the nursery part too, from the word go. At the moment he goes to a nursery near the house which is average at best, despite an outstanding ofstead rating.

The schools are awful. There are so many kids. Barely any smartly dressed. Seems to be no order and organisation. Pick up is 3:20 (?!) so god knows what would happen to my job.

I really really want him to go to private school and the one I’ve seen is around 18k a year for primary. Has anyone done this on a low salary and if so how? Did you move house or downsize etc. I don’t want to do anything extreme but my priority is this and I would do what it takes it there’s a way.

*if there’s a way

See if they offer a bursary? They often do for less well off families

You are going to have an early pick uo
in a private prep unless they have after school care wrapped in.

You’d have to post more financial detail, but it sounds to me like you know you can’t afford it.

Would moving to an area with better state schools be an option?

They don’t!

I mean there are some but they are very rare at primary level.

A lot of preps finish at 15:30 / 4pm as well so you’d likely still need to pay for wraparound care.

Yes this includes the whole day from 8am to 6pm

To be honest, you sound like a snob. You talk about the children in the local school being badly dressed. Surely your priority should be how good the education is.

In terms of after school care, if there's no after school club then use a childminder.

Have you checked the academic results from the nearby schools, it may not be as bad as you fear.

Check out childminders for wrap around care.

£18k for fees is £30-40k earned pre tax, it's a lot of money even if you were earning well.

The private school DS is at generally puts its fees up,above inflation, thank goodness my parents pay for it.

Many pupils joined in secondary, so I'd definitely not do it for nursery and primary.

If you're worried about local schools would moving to a good catchment area be an alternative?

If you went to private school you would probably have to pay extra for late pick up. You don’t say what you earn, but having to make him leave would be worse than never starting - and they put fees up every year

I understand your baby is tiny and the school is chaotic and frightening but it really will be ok. Almost all primaries in Britain are completely fine. You could save all through primary towards private for secondary, if you still wanted.

I do know of a family who only have one kid, live in a small flat, no car or holiday and their priority is a private education for their child.

i wouldn’t say they are on low salaries though, but probably a much higher proportion of their income goes on school fees than others who choose private ed.

3pm-ish finish is absolutely normal for schools. What do you think every other parent in the country does about their job?

Private schools also usually have longer school holidays so you'd need to factor that in.

Most private schools with bursaries require both parents to be committed if divorced and full financial disclosure. It's very rare before secondary age to get a significant bursary.

I'm not sure why smartness matters so much, and the lack of order even occurs at fancy schools! Rather than looking at the negatives I would look at positives eg wrap around care options at local schools (btw private schools also end early)

I would save your money and come up with a plan for paying for private secondary.

Some prep schools start to offer scholarships from age 7+ that could be a good way in too. Then you could focus on a sport or music with DS if he has an interest in it

What are the academic results of the local state schools? If poor, it might be cheaper to move to a better area with better schools rather than pay for private primary.

DP is a high earner and I’m on a good wage but we live in an area with access to great state schools so private primary seems like a waste of money, but we’ll consider it for secondary.

I strongly believe that if you can’t afford the lifestyle that goes with private schooling, then you shouldn’t do it.

Nothing worse than being the kid who can’t join in with anything that has a cost because there’s no money left after paying the basic fees.

How would you afford holiday clubs for the 18+ weeks a year private schools aren't open?

State schools can be big I agree
Class sizes too big IMO.
But you can't afford what you can't afford.

The other thing as well is that there will be some insanely rich DPs there so you may end up with a DC with a rather odd world view. We live in a detached 4 bed house and both have professional jobs, but DS seems to think we are poor because we haven't got an indoor swimming pool and can't afford to ski in Courcheval and order wagyu steak .

Nobody can really advise you without knowing your salary/outgoings. If private school costs more than this, it’s simply not going to happen for you without an inheritance or huge bank loan. You will still have to pay for housing/bills/food on top.

It seems a little excessive to pay 18k for 8-6 when most state schools do before and after school club.

Does it really matter how young children are dressed? Looking neat and tidy has absolutely nothing to do with how well they're learning.

In terms of whether you can afford it - it depends what you earn, doesn't it. Only you can know how it will work with your budget.

I don't think primary schools release academic results?

@Butterflyfluff i agree with this. Luckily my parents are wealthy so ds would be ok that front - nice holidays homes, all the toys, extra curricular stuff, the right trainers and all that nonsense!! But they understandably won’t pay the fees and that’s down to me.

Oh sorry I didn’t read it properly - yea bursaries more common for secondary. We got one at the later stage of prep (year 7)

When I said not smartly dressed I didn’t mean it in a nasty way, I just meant it seems none of the staff have time to focus on the kids properly, in the same way they would in a private school

What do you call a "lowish" salary? If you put every penny of your maintenance into fees, you'll still have to have £800+ spare a month to finance the rest, as well as uniform, music / drama lessons, sports kit, educational trips etc. If you have an easy £1k left at the end of the month, after all your bills, housing costs, etc then go for it if you must although that does call into question your definition of a "lowish salary" again.

Why not save all that money and send him private for secondary?