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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel this down about early getups

316 replies

Itsthemornings · 12/08/2023 16:46

So we have a nearly 3 yo and newborn. Nearly 3yo wakes at 5 or half four every single day. Thought this might have got better when he dropped his nap but it hasn’t.

Nothing seems to make any difference, and I don’t really understand it as he’s tired but can’t get him back to sleep. It’s always been tough but now with a newborn the level of sleep deprivation is horrendous.

If you had an early waker, when did it improve? I don’t want him to stay in bed until 9 or anything but 6/half 6 would be fine.

OP posts:
Bogfrog · 12/08/2023 17:01

Gro clock. He’s not allowed out of bed before then. Stick with it. My daughter was a 5.30 riser and we gradually got her to 7am.

4YOWoe · 12/08/2023 17:03

Yes gro clock. Can't get up until owl wakes up.

My early riser got later around 3 years old, dc2 arrived at 3yrs 1 month and it was definitely 6.30 by then instead of 5am.

Lonecatwithkitten · 12/08/2023 17:05

Nothing worked I tried everything, the Gto clock was 'just a stupid clock it can't keep me in bed' - the articulate girl at 3.5years.
She stopped at about 7.5years. I won't lie that combined with ExH inability to help in the slightest probably brought about the end of my marriage to him.

Hankunamatata · 12/08/2023 17:09

This was us for years (sobs) we survived by each having a lie in either Saturday or Sunday and we fought lots about it.

No advice just sympathy. It did get better when started school and they could watch tv for a bit themselves

Original poster
Itsthemornings · 12/08/2023 17:11

Gro clocks don’t work but thanks … I’m fairly resigned to it but I do need to know roughly when the end is in sight. Thanks (but SEVEN 😭)

OP posts:
reluctantadmissions · 12/08/2023 17:13

Probably frowned upon but we went with a combination of repeated telling them to go back to bed, bringing into our bed, putting on an episode of Maiseys mouse or similar and leaving a morning snack like a couple of biscuits and cup of milk. I refused to do anything for them at that time so it would be put them in bed and just doze while
They watched a couple of episodes. Not the best parenting but anything I could do to survive. What I refuse to do is start my day at 5am!

TregunaMekoides · 12/08/2023 17:16

My youngest was one of these.
We had a gro clock. She would just ignore it. It does get better but to be honest, it was only around 6 or 7 that we managed to get her to leave us to "lie in" until 8am on a weekend. And that was having a kids tablet in her room which woke up at 7 so she could watch TV for a bit.

OnionBhajis · 12/08/2023 17:17

Not a lot until had adenoids and tonsils out......

Original poster
Itsthemornings · 12/08/2023 17:19

What I refuse to do is start my day at 5am!

We aren’t doing it by choice Hmm

I am fine with anything after 6 but 5 and especially half 4 are middle of the night territory, and it’s shit!

OP posts:
Bogfrog · 12/08/2023 17:20

I really would persist with gro clock. My daughter is not an “easy” kid or compliant all the time (she has demand avoidant ASD in fact).

Make it clear there’s no negotiation. It’s still night time until gro clock says otherwise. There will be no tv, no playing, no nothing.
Repeated putting back to bed.

It may take a few days/a week and be a pain but totally worth it. She’s 8 now and it still works.

dancemom · 12/08/2023 17:21

If he's still tired on waking then the Wake to Sleep method

Merrow · 12/08/2023 17:23

Gro clock was the success here, but we have a child that responds quite well to absolutes. I would say it was around now (4 and a half) that he's actually sleeping through until the sun comes up naturally, before we had a lot of very loud singing but, crucially, he stayed in his bedroom.

Original poster
Itsthemornings · 12/08/2023 17:23

Trust me @Bogfrog it isn’t happening and TBH as much as I loathe and detest the early get ups I’m really not OK with leaving him crying for potentially over an hour.

OP posts:
Original poster
Itsthemornings · 12/08/2023 17:24

Anyway to be honest I didn’t post for advice - just want to know if the end will be in sight any time in the next decade. I suppose I won’t always have a newborn which is something.

OP posts:
namechange55465 · 12/08/2023 17:27

This is probably also horrendous parenting but can you bribe him? If he stays in bed until the gro clock goes off then he gets a star on a chart and then when he gets 10 stars he gets a new toy?

xyz111 · 12/08/2023 17:28

What time does he go to bed?

TropicalTrama · 12/08/2023 17:29

The biggest game changer was a hard reset that came from long haul travel, jet lat, night flights and delays. Shitshow at the time but it fixed the early waking!! I realise that’s a bit extreme though 🤣

Also, changing my mindset- I cannot control when they sleep but I can at least try to insist they stay in their room and do not disturb the rest of the house. So gro clock, make sure there’s a lamp within reach, a drink of water in a no spill sippy cup (ideally a straw one since they can’t drink those lying down), some books and non noisy toys, maybe one of those audio players like a yoto.

Winterjoy · 12/08/2023 17:30

Sorry if this sounds obvious but have you got full blackout curtains/window coverings in the bedroom?

Twattergy · 12/08/2023 17:31

Probably another year max. Take turns getting up at at that time rather than fighting it. Then do grow out of it.

Original poster
Itsthemornings · 12/08/2023 17:31

namechange55465 · 12/08/2023 17:27

This is probably also horrendous parenting but can you bribe him? If he stays in bed until the gro clock goes off then he gets a star on a chart and then when he gets 10 stars he gets a new toy?

God I wish … no care for it. I’m not sure he would be able to join up the dots as in you did this so you get that - have tried similar for potty training and just doesn’t seem to ‘get it’.

@xyz111 its been a tad variable of late but usually it’s 7. However, trust me I have tried everything from earlier (630) to later (730) to much later (8) and nothings made a difference. Every so often, say if we’re on holiday or something, and he has an exceptionally late night of around 9 he might wake at say 540 or something but even that is not guaranteed.

I suspect he isn’t eating enough but it’s very hard as while I can offer food I certainly can’t force it and plus the more I try to encourage something the more he digs his heels in (joys of 2 yos.)

OP posts:
Silvers11 · 12/08/2023 17:32

Just a thought - but my daughter was the same. I hadn't realised just how light her curtains were and she was basically waking up when the sun rose!! Problem solved when I got new and light blocking curtains for her room

Is there a lot of light coming into her room?

Original poster
Itsthemornings · 12/08/2023 17:33

Guys, we’re nearly 2 years into this … I have thought of blackout curtains 🤣

OP posts:
YouveGotAFastCar · 12/08/2023 17:35

A sleep consultant told me that it was just coincidental; and black out blinds, changing naps, adjusting bedtime etc is unlikely to affect it, really - its natural for little kids to wake up earlier; sometimes horrifically earlier, and there's not a lot you can do about that. Gro clocks and bribes can work to encourage them to stay in bed, or in their room; but won't stop them from being awake...

I have no idea when it gets better, OP; but I massively sympathise with your plight. At the moment I'm telling myself that at least the mornings are bright earlier; and it's not winter when it'd feel like we'd been up forever in the pitch black 😵‍💫

Unicorntearsofgin · 12/08/2023 17:36

Mine was like this. I am afraid I don’t have any decent advice. With my eldest summer was the worst and she just got gradually better. She’s still an early riser but not it’s 645/7

It does pass 🌸

Oysterbabe · 12/08/2023 17:36

My son is definitely an early riser and had spells of pre 5am starts. He got better once he started school. He's 5 now and it's usually 6:30.