To feel this down about early getups

[Itsthemornings]

So we have a nearly 3 yo and newborn. Nearly 3yo wakes at 5 or half four every single day. Thought this might have got better when he dropped his nap but it hasn’t.

Nothing seems to make any difference, and I don’t really understand it as he’s tired but can’t get him back to sleep. It’s always been tough but now with a newborn the level of sleep deprivation is horrendous.

If you had an early waker, when did it improve? I don’t want him to stay in bed until 9 or anything but 6/half 6 would be fine.

Fuck knows!

@oviraptor21 I’m really not posting for advice and I’m not sure an 11pm bedtime is healthy.

Written by someone who doesn't realise cbeebies only starts at 7am ( yes I realise it is no longer 2005 and you can watch it whenever). I would absolutely have a ban on screens before they have eaten and are dressed at least monday- Friday. We did books or reading practice. Putting the TV on before 6am is a terrible idea.

Is he non verbal @Itsthemornings ?

When you say you’ve tried everything, you do realise you have to do it for a set period of time to make any difference?

Like you can’t just give it one or two days of earlier or later bedtimes and say “that’s it, doesn’t work!”

@Goldencup isn’t it 6am?
Once my dc started school we stopped tv during the week but when they were 2/3 and up early? CBeebies was fine!

Don't shout at me 😆 but what does he do if you put him to bed with you in the morning?
It was the only way I could ever get a lie in, it did work and I'd get another hour (sometimes longer) they'd get in my bed and say 'scratchy back' and I'd scratch they're back and lull them back to sleep 😬
I appreciate you've probably already tried it, but some parents are quite strict about having children in their bed, but honestly was a life saver for me I can't cope with 5am starts.
In answer to your actual question, mine stopped getting up early around 7 and by teen years, I can't actually get them out of bed, unless they have to be somewhere.
It is temporary, but will feel like forever! I sympathise

I had one that woke at 6.30am and the second at 5.30am. It was just their body clocks tbh. It didn't matter what we did - that was when they woke.

One is now 19 and still wakes about 7.30/8am and the younger one is up and ready (at 13) by 6.30am.....

Once they were old enough to sort themselves out in the morning (very young!!!) we let them get on with it. to be honest the first one got us into 6.30 wake -ups as a matter of course!

Tablets / snoozing on the sofa.....TV!

I hate to say this op but nothing worked for dd1. She dropped her nap at 18mo, and not long after went through a 4.30am phase. The Gro Clock was a decent comfort for her but did bugger all in terms of getting her to stay in bed. Plus she learned how to turn the sun on on it...

Eventually we just went with it. 8.30 swimming lesson? No problem. 10am party on a Sunday? No problem. All Christmas cards written and addressed by 9am? No problem. Weekly shop done by 8.30? No problem.

She's nearly 16 and is still an earlyish riser. The difference of course is now she sorts herself out and drags dh to Parkrun on a Saturday.

Dd2 went through a similar early rising phase. She's 13 now and that phase is most definitely over!

OP you're coming across as rather rude.

My friend has a boy the same age who sleeps 6.30-4.30. I'd swap for mine who wakes at 3 then takes hours to go back off.

In response to your own attitude, get used to it

My 2.5YO doesn’t like a lot of CBeebies either! But he does ask for the Octonauts or Paw Patrol or to ‘play trains’ and will say ‘I hungry breakfast’.

Not non verbal but not tremendously articulate.

I do bring him into bed with me or he goes in with DH but he just runs between us both, or goes downstairs anyway and then one of us obviously has to get up to go with him.

CBeebies is 6am. Weekdays it used to be Raa Raa then Bing then Teletubbies, then Tee and Mo, then Chuggingtons, then Bing again then colourblocks … I know these things. Then DS lost interest.

I get you don’t want advice but people can suggest things that might help. If you can explain what actually happens when he wakes that would help? You get up and then what…?

@Chanhedforthis i actually think it’s rude to persist in giving unwanted advice when someone has made it clear it is unwanted.

There are only so many times you can answer identical posts politely.

Is he particularly hungry when he gets up or just ready to start his day and play? If he’s still tired when he wakes up does he nap at any point of the day?

Really? Wow.

(Yes, I did realise thanks. Seriously, the 5am starts started circa 18 months.)

I think it was 7am in 2005, however OP is talking about pre- 6am and I do think turning the telly on is a bad idea. Quiet stories/ music/dim lights. It's a good idea to have a comfy chair/ bean bag or something in the child's room so you can at least partially rest. Very minimal interaction, lots of "shush it's nightime". One thing I might do is change his nappy ( in the dim light) as he might be waking up to wee. At 6 I would give up, open the curtains/switch the lights on and go downstairs, only then would I feed them and make a coffee. Quite often I prepared the evening meal before 8am. I seem to remember there was a baby swim at 8am at the leisure centre when he was 9 months old, we were often the only ones in.

Ok, well if you don’t want help or ideas I’ll bow out. Yes, it’s normal for lots of children to wake early. It can change when they start school or when they become teens or any time. I don’t think anyone would disagree that it’s very hard, especially with a newborn too. Not sure what else anyone can say. Hope you’re ok.

Unfortunately I think it may just be his getting up time and will only get better when he can stay in his room on his own. Is he particularly affected by the clock changes?

@Dragonsandcats he does sometimes nap, it is variable. He’s obviously exhausted by midday and if we’re going anywhere I can’t prevent him nodding off, but TBH there is no discernible difference between no nap days and nap days.

My DD was 5.45am on the dot until age 6 or 7 (what changed then was she was willing to go downstairs by herself and play). The trip to Canada where she woke at 12.45am in the pitch dark was not amusing. Her body clock is amazing! Exactly the same wake up time minus the time difference.

All we could do really is take turns and go to bed earlier. Oh and it turns out they have 24 hour coffee bars and supermarkets in Toronto. That was an odd dawn, wandering around the aisles.

I've never had to get her up for school though.

When I was in this very particular type of hell we took it in turns taking her downstairs and would doze on the sofa while she watched crap on YouTube with melty puffs and milk. Yep, parents of the year over here.

Most people don’t realise this, that’s why I said it.

Also if you give any screens, food or toys before 6am you will be encouraging the early wake ups long term.

Yes me too. It was awful OP, I do sympathise. Mine suddenly snapped out of it, with no obvious reason. But that was at about 2 1/2 after a shit 6 months.

OP if you want to crack this, you really need to keep him awake until at least 12pm, then limit the nap to 45 minutes ( one sleep cycle) yes he will be grumpy, yes it will be boring. But it is essential if he is sleeping before noon or for more than 1 hour with a 7pm bedtime these early mornings will persist.

A bit confused, if op isn't asking for advice then what does she want. It's pretty obvious every child is different and no one can say when it will end or when her child will sleep longer? 🤔
Op, you seem to think you have no other choice but you do but don't want to entertain any of them. I understand you must be tired of it and I empathise as it's horrible being tired, but you can get a grip on the situation if you can accept you haven't done everything you can.