To feel this down about early getups

[Itsthemornings]

So we have a nearly 3 yo and newborn. Nearly 3yo wakes at 5 or half four every single day. Thought this might have got better when he dropped his nap but it hasn’t.

Nothing seems to make any difference, and I don’t really understand it as he’s tired but can’t get him back to sleep. It’s always been tough but now with a newborn the level of sleep deprivation is horrendous.

If you had an early waker, when did it improve? I don’t want him to stay in bed until 9 or anything but 6/half 6 would be fine.

I had a similar age gap.

My oldest is upper primary and still always up before 6am BUT I don’t have to get up too!

At your child’s age I’d say “if you can stay put till 6am CBeebies will start and you can get up and watch.”

CBeebies is wonderful. You have my sympathy. It gets better.

Blackout blinds helped us a lot. Plus from 2.5 mine ‘got’ the gro clock, though she is a compliant/rule following child to be fair. If she started arguing with it I would start with bribery (you can have x if you stay in bed until the clock changes)The key with this is being realistic though - no he’s not going to lay in bed silently for an hour or 90 minutes to start with. So start by setting the gro clock 10 minutes after he wakes up and see if he can manage that. Lots of praise if so. Next day 5 minutes later and so on. Have some quiet toys, books or an audio player to entertain him while he stays in his room.

if that failed I’d then probably resort to consequences ‘sorry darling, we can’t go to the cinema today. I know that was the plan but mummy is too tired because you woke me up before the clock said. So we have to stay home instead.’

Thanks: sadly he is not a CBeebies fan.

Mine were both early risers (around 5am) When they were little (2/3) I just brought them into bed with me. As they got older they would go downstairs and watch tv (and eat biscuits). I can't remember what age they stopped being so early but I think it was around 5/6 when they started sleeping to about 7am and so,e times later on the weekends.

@Itsthemornings is that possible? Ok. My mind is blown.

Option 2, set up a cool track with his brio/whatever for him to play with when he wakes?

Absolutely nothing worked with mine. All the just be firm, put them back to bed shite / gro clock ha! Had absolutely no impact but starting pre school full time at 3, nearly 4 has really helped. 6 most days!

@modgepodge trust me on this one - this child is not going to follow instructions from me any time soon.

My options are

Brute force (physically preventing him doing something, cue huge tantrum and injuries to me but sometimes just gotta do it.)

Ignoring.

Thats it.

Option 3 is just get up and lie on the sofa. I was up by 5am for years and years. Sometimes we’d just go out for a walk (sounds a bit mad but I found it easier than being inside)

I know you didn't post for advice, but if you wait until he does later wakening by himself you could be in for a long wait! Most desirable behaviours are the result of training and if necessary, discipline. If it helps, look on it as being good for all the family and stop being so hard on yourself by giving in to a 3 year old.

Not helpful @Userhay …

Those are not your only options. He’ll be trying to connect with you (because that’s what all children are trying to do).

What about putting an audiobook on and letting him listen to it in bed with you?

I was (am) an early riser, my DS was too ( now 19) and my Mum. Quite a lot of evidence it is just genetic.

It got better around school age for us. We did go on a very extended holiday just before school entry so that play have helped with a " reset".

I know you have said you tried messing about with bedtimes, but our DS only ever slept 10-11hours at night so a 7pm bedtime pretty much guaranteed a 5am wake up. At 2 I aimed for 7:45-8pm with the hope he would go past 6 it mostly worked.

He just is and was better in the morning, I would often give him eggs for breakfast so I didn't have to worry too much about dinner. Also sometimes bathed him before the evening meal as he was soo tired. He fell asleep in his food more than once ! Try 2 breakfasts cereal at 6am, then something more substantial ( scrambed eggs?, french toast, beans ?) at 8:30. Then his last meal can be something easy and carby ( crumpets and Marmite always went down well here).

I think we were slightly before gro clocks so can't say if it would have worked. My secret weapon was really going to bed at 9pm.

I actually am trying to be helpful. I’ve had this gap and a persistent early riser

I wish people would just accept that the options are

1. ignore him. He screams and eventually someone rescues him so he’s still learned screaming gets him what he wants.
2. put him to bed in the garage
3. just try to cope as best we can.

@Userhay sorry but it wasn’t helpful that your mind was blown by my toddler not quietly watching CBeebies for like 3 hours 🤣 he could hardly follow an audiobook.

Gro clocks need a bit of time to work... you have to set it for the time they wake up now and then reward heavily for staying in bed till it goes orange even if its just for one minute. Even get into bed with them and wait for it to go orange.

Once they are invested in it, then you start adding 5/10 mins to it.

You need to find something they really care about though and you need patience at the beginning.

Clearly it’s option 3. But that’s what people are trying to help with. He won’t be waking up early to try to upset you - so people are suggesting things that might keep him occupied for a bit. But age almost 3, children do want to connect with their parent and a few minutes of good connection can (sometimes) be enough to help them to go and play independently for a bit.

I’m not going to respond to any more posts about Gro clocks or blackout blinds. Sorry but people will either accept what I’m saying or they won’t.

I wasn’t suggesting 3 hours of CBeebies. But I was surprised that any child doesn’t like CBeebies at all.

I was am an early riser, I had an early riser. I also run sleep clinics professionally. It is difficult, early rising is as I described largely genetically coded, but there are probably a few things you could tweak to bring 4:30 closer to 6am.

Mine doesn’t. He used to, but he now is not interested. ok?

So what exactly happens when he wakes up , what does he want food , drink someone to play with ?

Except those aren't the only options. Some of the others have already been suggested.

If he's tired, what things have you tried to get him back to sleep again?

Alternatively you say you've tried putting him to bed later. I'd be trying much later - like 10pm or 11pm and going to sleep myself at the same time. Give anything you try at least a couple of weeks before rejecting it.

@Floralnomad I was going to ask the same. What does he like to play with/listen to/watch?

What would you do if she started doing this at 2am, for example? Suggestion to treat it as though it is the middle of the night and refuse to get up with her and start the day then. I feel for you though, sounds really tough and starts to catch up on you 😥