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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner out while I'm stuck in the hotel room

286 replies

BlueMediterranean · 11/08/2023 20:21

I could really use your perspective on this. Currently on a short coastal break with my partner and our toddler.

Our little one's bedtime is set at 8 pm, and my partner wants to head out for dinner and drinks afterward, leaving me with our child.

He's willing to bring back food, but I can't shake the feeling that this is a bit selfish.

Am I overreacting, or should I address this? Would love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks!

OP posts:
ISeeARedDoorAndIWantToBreakIn · 11/08/2023 20:22

If he goes out on his own tonight, then it’s your turn tomorrow night.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 11/08/2023 20:23

What was the original plan for you both with regards to getting dinner?

Serenity45 · 11/08/2023 20:24

What were your plans? Would you have expected to go out to eat earlier then back in time for little one's bedtime and chill together?

It sounds really odd and selfish for him to fuck off and basically bring you a doggy bag back! I wouldn't be happy and I don't think you're overreacting.

VickyEadieofThigh · 11/08/2023 20:24

Has he always been this selfish? Who is he going out drinking with?

PuttingDownRoots · 11/08/2023 20:24

By himself?

Has he heard of takeaways and some drinks from the local shop in the hotel room?

endofthelinefinally · 11/08/2023 20:25

That sounds very strange and a bit selfish IMO. It isn't much of a holiday for you. Would you want to go out for dinner and drinks on your own if he says it is your turn tomorrow?

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 11/08/2023 20:28

So do you not have dinner till 10-11ish if he's bringing it back after he's done?

Why aren't you all going out to eat together before DC goes to sleep? Or putting DC in a pushchair and letting them fall asleep while you're out?

comedycentral · 11/08/2023 20:29

I'm sorry OP but this is weird, it's either eating out all together or take away. Maybe you could have larger lunches and more of a snack tea in the room? He is acting odd and selfish.

Sirzy · 11/08/2023 20:31

As long as you get equal time I don’t see an issue. Although I would have gone to est all together first then had the alone time.

Original poster
BlueMediterranean · 11/08/2023 20:32

Our little one only settles down with me at night time so I can't do the same.

He went on his own.

We got some food in the afternoon but he says is too many hours without eating so he really needs to go out and eat something after 8, otherwise he will be hungry at night.

OP posts:
ZolaBudd · 11/08/2023 20:33

eat earlier together. ? Weird

Clefable · 11/08/2023 20:33

Seems weird but the entire set-up seems a bit weird. Are you just not having dinner at all usually or what?

ZolaBudd · 11/08/2023 20:33

Has your h got any issues with addiction ?

Stressfordays · 11/08/2023 20:34

Why don't you sack the bedtime off and go out together? There is no way I'd sit in a hotel room from 8pm on holiday. Mine have all just stayed up and flaked out when they were knackered.

ZolaBudd · 11/08/2023 20:34

I suppose, if this was us, we would all have eaten at six or seven, then take a bottle of wine or something to the room to drink when the kids are asleep

EvilElsa · 11/08/2023 20:34

Really selfish. I can understand him going out to pick up food for both of you and bringing it back, but going off for a night out on his own while you sit hungry in a hotel room?! What a twat.

LuckySantangelo35 · 11/08/2023 20:34

Stressfordays · 11/08/2023 20:34

Why don't you sack the bedtime off and go out together? There is no way I'd sit in a hotel room from 8pm on holiday. Mine have all just stayed up and flaked out when they were knackered.

@BlueMediterranean

this OP 👆

Clefable · 11/08/2023 20:34

Personally I'd go for an earlier dinner with baby and just have a later night with them rather than sit in hotel room from 8 after having had no food since the afternoon or trying to eat takeaway in silence!

MillWood85 · 11/08/2023 20:34

It all sounds really weird. Why not eat at the normal time and then put your child to bed...

But if DH tried that stunt, he'd be coming back to a locked room with his bag outside it. He wants the single life, crack on.

LuckySantangelo35 · 11/08/2023 20:35

EvilElsa · 11/08/2023 20:34

Really selfish. I can understand him going out to pick up food for both of you and bringing it back, but going off for a night out on his own while you sit hungry in a hotel room?! What a twat.

@EvilElsa

OP has never said that she is actually hungry though has she

Caprisunny · 11/08/2023 20:35

What do you mean afternoon?

Did you eat at 5pm? 2pm?

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 11/08/2023 20:35

Sorry but this still seems odd, surely if you absolutely have to be back in the room for 8pm, you should be aiming for dinner at about 6.30pm somewhere all together then have some snacks for the room.

Although you're on holiday can you not relax the bedtime a bit? What would be the worst thing that happens if you settled DC at 9pm instead?

painochocolate · 11/08/2023 20:36

BlueMediterranean · 11/08/2023 20:32

Our little one only settles down with me at night time so I can't do the same.

He went on his own.

We got some food in the afternoon but he says is too many hours without eating so he really needs to go out and eat something after 8, otherwise he will be hungry at night.

That's because he always leaves it to you

toomuchlaundry · 11/08/2023 20:36

Room service?

pinkdelight · 11/08/2023 20:37

BlueMediterranean · 11/08/2023 20:32

Our little one only settles down with me at night time so I can't do the same.

He went on his own.

We got some food in the afternoon but he says is too many hours without eating so he really needs to go out and eat something after 8, otherwise he will be hungry at night.

This is a self fulfilling cycle that suits your DP fine. My LO only settled for me until I went away for a long weekend and DP took over, then LO settled for him. You've gotta break the cycle or it's never gonna change. There's nothing magic about you that means he can't do it. He'd just rather not have the aggro. Why would he when he can swan off and leave you stuck in? You don't have to suck it up, unless you choose to.