Partner out while I'm stuck in the hotel room

[BlueMediterranean]

I could really use your perspective on this. Currently on a short coastal break with my partner and our toddler.

Our little one's bedtime is set at 8 pm, and my partner wants to head out for dinner and drinks afterward, leaving me with our child.

He's willing to bring back food, but I can't shake the feeling that this is a bit selfish.

Am I overreacting, or should I address this? Would love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks!

A hotel room with no living area or a balcony / terrace (with good weather) doesn’t work if you want to keep to a fairly rigid bedtime routine. I don’t think I would want to eat dinner at 6 and then sit quietly in the dark from 8pm.

We just used to take DC with us, or leave him asleep in his room in Club Med where they used to do baby listening and call you out of dinner downstairs if they woke. Even camping, you can just sit outside with a nice bottle of wine and gaze at the night sky.

Can you upgrade your room to a suite?

A one off might not bother me too much if he was only gone an hour or two while you settled the baby. But if he expects to do it every night that would be a big no for me.

So you're breaking the routine by, um, sticking to your regular routine? Right

If the child will only nurse to sleep, how can he put the kid to bed?

Are you all in one room so once baby down, you're sat in the dark in silence? I might agree to you BOTH alternating going out one evening, home by 10, bring something nice back .
Or if he'll sleep through quiet TV with subtitles which is how we used to do it, I'd expect him to stay in. Go out and grab food and come back with it if he's hungry.

Child in pushchair and go out together?

Who said it was an English pub?

I would make an exception for holiday and take little one out in buggy for an adult's evening meal and let DC fall asleep. This is done all the time "abroad"- couples out till midnight and little one sound asleep in buggy with them.

I despair when I read posts like this from young women.
why did women of my age ( old) fight and fight for equality.
From reading MN it appears that women are regressing in their ability to take control of their lives.

Then you go out for breakfast ALONE tomorrow and leave him to get on with it. Tell him he can get a doggy bag then. What a prick! I would be fuming and really really suspicious he’s gone to meet someone! Has he been on his phone a lot?

What did you anticipate happening OP? Does your LO sleep through if you are in the room with the light on chatting, watching t.v etc, or does it have to be darkness and quiet? If the former then yeah selfish but if the latter then I get it and next time book an air b&b

Is it because it is the first game of the premiership this evening? My husband and sons are all watching tonight despite it not being their team. If your husband is really into football could be a draw to going out? I still would not be happy though if my husband did this

Op did.

@steff13

If the child will only nurse to sleep, how can he put the kid to bed?

Even bf babies will take bottles with express/formula milk if introduced early enough. I am older and my babies were no longer nursing at 14 months but I fully understand that people sometimes choose to continue until much older now.

My DGC were bottle fed so easier obviously for my SIL to get more involved in bedtime routines. Those are choices each family has to make but if mums don't encourage their partners to get involved in bedtime because they will only nurse their babies to sleep then you cannot really moan if the dads think they can carry on as they were pre baby as the OPs dad obviously is.

Very selfish behaviour. Is there any chance he's a drug user?

I’d be interested to find out where op said that her husband had gone to an English pub.

I asked the same about addiction.

He comes across as a drug user because he doesn't want to go to bed early while on holiday...?

This thread is the kind of reason why we never stayed in hotels when the children were young. Always an apartment where we could relax once kids in bed.

@ZolaBudd
@FabFitFifties

just because he doesn’t want to go to bed at 8pm
whilst on HOLIDAY does not mean he is a drug addict, FFS!

I think if you were at home this would be absolutely fine but it’s a really shitty thing to do if you’re on holiday.

Fair enough he can go get some food or buy some beers but going and watching some sport’s whilst drinking could be hours, it’s not fair on you at all.
He can do this anytime.

Only on MN could wanting to watch sport mean he must be a drug user or having an affair

Very selfish behaviour. Is there any
chance he's a drug user?

oh FFS 🤣 classic mumsnet ….. husband fancies a pint and watching the football and he’s a smack head!

I'm aware that there are babies that will nurse and take bottles. That's not really the issue here though because she hasn't said that the baby will take a bottle but he refuses to give the baby a bottle, has she? She specifically said the baby will only nurse to sleep.

Thanks everyone. He is back now, he just got dinner in a restaurant