How normal is it to pack your partner's bags?

[BathtimeBedlam]

I feel hard done by in that in my house I pack all the bags for me and the kids and DH does himself. This is also true for laundry etc. I do me and the family and the bedding etc, he looks after himself.

Recently he went on a stag do and he told me he was the "most modern man" there as the mens wives had packed their bags for them, despite not even going on the trip. So he felt he had bragging rights that he managed to pack his own 2 day trip bag.

Is this a common thing? He said my expectations were too high and that behind closed doors women were still packing, washing, and ironing the blokes stuff as well as their own and the kids.

Wanted to see what the women on MN think!

It’s common. I personally don’t think it’s normal though. The bar is just very very low when it comes to heterosexual males.

I can count on one hand the number of times me and/or DH have packed each other's bags, and that's usually if it's a quick overnight trip so whoever is home throws some basic bits in a bag.

I'd struggle to find my husband attractive if he needed me to act like a mother figure to him like that.

On a side note why are you doing all the children's laundry and bag packing? That's also a shared job in our house.

I'm sure your DH is right and there are some women (mugs) who are still picking up after overgrown teenagers of a husband, but it doesn't make it right.

Does he also claim bragging rights that he manages to dress himself in the morning? Manages to shower by himself?

I think it's odd for a man not to pack his own luggage, but I do occasionally hear about such set-ups.

I would exempt ironing from the category, since if you're a household that irons all or most clothing, I'd see it just as a general chore that might be split, so it's not weirder to have someone iron everybody's clothes than to have someone do a washing load that's a mix of family members' stuff.

My DH used to work away most weeks. I have never once packed a bag for him. In fact in well over a decade of marriage I have packed a bag for him exactly twice and on both occasions it was because I was taking him for a suprise weekend away.

He also washed his own clothes, does most of the cooking and on the rare occasions he wants something ironing does it himself.

He goes away with a group of male friends each year and not one of them has their bag packed by their wife. But they are all ex scout leaders so if they announced they hadn't packed their own bag it would be met with derision not admiration.

Sounds like your DH has set the bar very low for what a grown adult can achieve and then made friend with people who dug a hole to bury the bar in

Honestly I feel like women are to blame for so much of men's laziness.

Why on earth would anyone pack their partner's bag for a trip that they aren't going on.

I can understand packing shared items like certain toiletries etc but why wouldn't someone pack their own bag. Surely they would also like to choose what they wear??

We all pack our own, still check the teen's though.

I do slightly more washing because I'm home more and will always look to fill a load. Working on the teen doing his own at the moment.

Your husband's weird bragging would annoy the hell out of me

Bollocks most women do that. I don't. Bragging rights?🙄

My husband packs his own bags when he's going somewhere on his own, same as I do. If we're going as a family, everyone assembles their own stuff, I sense check the kids poles and then DH does the actual packing.

I’ve never packed for DH and he’d never expect me to.
Some women wait on their husbands to an astonishing degree though, so I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of women did this.

I don't pack DH's and I never have. I don't buy his clothes or underwear either which his mum seems to find weird!

I do pack for the kids though 🤦‍♀️

I have never and would never, pack for anyone else, except my DCs when they were very young

I wouldn't dream of packing his bag. He would never expect me to either. Yes, I would do the childrens but only because once I'd sorted all the outfits DH would do all the ironing of the clothes.

Dh has never asked or expected me to pack his bag. We’ve been married a long time.
I’d think there was something wrong with him, if he did. I mean he’s an adult who goes out to work everyday so why wouldn’t he be capable of packing his own suitcase?

DH reckons lots of women enjoy the control of managing every aspect of the man's life. He also said the wives chose and bought a lot of the clothes

I resent doing all the kids stuff. If I had to do him as well I'd go mad. Its like a child

Not a chance. I grumble enough about having to do the kids' stuff when we go away, but he in fairness does do all the tech stuff plus stuff for the dog and preps the car as well as just his stuff so it's not that uneven really.

I'd certainly never pack for him going away somewhere by himself, that's just weird!

No, I don’t pack for my husband and never have.

My husband packs his own bags for work trips (which are weekly!).

I pack the bags for holidays. Because I am incapable of sticking within the very generous luggage allowances and need to make use of the free space in his bags effectively 😂

Convenient for him to think women enjoy mummying their husbands. It would give me the ick to buy clothes and undies for DH, except as a one-off gift.

I don't pack his bags but I do do his laundry. We don't divide everything equally in our house as we prefer to have our own areas of responsibility in the household and laundry is one of mine.

I do him a packed lunch, but he puts it in his own bag. We all use the same laundry basket, so I put his in with mine and DD’s. I don’t see why you wouldn’t just include all the laundry in the house, if you’re putting a load on 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sure he did

I do on a holiday because 1) our cases are not the same size, and 2) we’ve once had a person’s bag go missing for several days on an overseas trip. So I spread pack - each case has toiletries, at least one set of swimming stuff, underwear and knocking about clothes in, just in case one goes missing again. For his work trips or uk stuff, nah - he does his own.

My husband would never let me pack his bag (and I don't want to)!

I dont mind laundry because all ours is done at once and DH irons.

I have never and would never pack my husband’s bag, unless he was incapacitated. He’d think I’d lost my mind, for one thing.

We once went away with another couple and the wife had not only packed her (useless) husband’s case, she unpacked it for him or arrival! Unbelievable.