How normal is it to pack your partner's bags?

[BathtimeBedlam]

I feel hard done by in that in my house I pack all the bags for me and the kids and DH does himself. This is also true for laundry etc. I do me and the family and the bedding etc, he looks after himself.

Recently he went on a stag do and he told me he was the "most modern man" there as the mens wives had packed their bags for them, despite not even going on the trip. So he felt he had bragging rights that he managed to pack his own 2 day trip bag.

Is this a common thing? He said my expectations were too high and that behind closed doors women were still packing, washing, and ironing the blokes stuff as well as their own and the kids.

Wanted to see what the women on MN think!

I always pack for the kids (except for one memorable time when DH did it and didn’t pack any pants for any of them) but I have never packed for my DH.

PLEASE do this 😂

For packing, me and dh normally put our own clothes in the suitcase. I'm normally the one to close it though.
Dh normally packs anything we're taking from the kitchen (self catering holidays) and I normally pack any toiletries and extras.

I’ve never packed a single item on DH’s behalf and he in fact does all the family laundry.

Everyone packs their own bag here (apart from the baby) The kids do there’s on my bed where I can remind them of missing items. I will pack the babies but that’s because I want to
choose his outfits!

I cannot think of anything less attractive than essentially parenting DP.

I would never pack DH's bag... but I find the idea of not doing his laundry/ his ironing/ his lunch really weird. We have a (joint) pile of laundry/ironing-and someone sorts it (whichever one of us gets to it first). Sometimes I do his lunch, sometimes he does mine...This not doing anything for your partner thing (whether it's you or your partner) seems really sad.

DH and I share packing etc. So he packs his, I pack mine, we make a list for the kids together and pack one child each. He definitely packs for himself for solo trips.

He also does his own ironing, shares household chores, and shares parenting. Because we live in 2023 not 1953 and we’re a partnership.

I’ not have married someone who needed a pat on the head for just being a normal adult human.

Yeah I pack my partners/our luggage. I'm just better at it.

He does all of our ironing. Hes just better at it.

As I already said elsewhere, I put the packing INTO the suitcases but DH pulls together what he wants to take with him. I do that because I am much better at doing it and can make sure we both have some clothes in both suitcases, in case one gets lost if we are flying or whatever.

My OH does all the washing. He also does ALL the ironing because he is better than I am at the ironing. There tends to be a lot of ironing because we both wear a lot of cotton stuff which creases, even when carefully packed in the suitcases.

I too cannot understand why people would each wash their own. Seems very selfish to me - and very wasteful too

I too cannot understand why people would each wash their own. Seems very selfish to me - and very wasteful too

Reading some of these responses, I wonder why some couples bother to live together at all.

We do laundry and packing separately because it's what we prefer, rather than out of selfishness/spite.

We prefer to choose what we take on holiday so neither of us would want the other to pack for them. We find separate laundry works better for our household, takes up less time etc

Packing your partner's stuff is just ridiculous. Would he ever pack yours? Would you even want him to?

Been with my husband for 15 years, married for 10 years. Not once have I packed his bag for him when we go away, not before kids and most definitely not after having kids. Sorting my own stuff and our 2 boys is enough for me. I'm not going to start sorting out a grown adults packing too.

My partner is a fully functioning adult man so why on earth would he need me to pack his bags? I haven’t even packed my kid’s bags since they were about 6.

Yeah we always split stuff between two cases (after my case once didn’t show up for a whole holiday) but it just means we each put half our stuff in two cases, it doesn’t require either of us to own that task.

I know quite a few women who pack their husband’s bag and I think it's absolutely ridiculous. The argument will always be that if they don't pack it their DH will forget something important. I argue that it will be their DH’s problem and perhaps if they are inconvenienced, they will up their game next time.

You seriously pack a work bag? You mean his laptop/lunch etc? Like you might pack a 5 year olds PE kit & lunchbox?

I actually hope this is a wind up.

Too right, it’s not my responsibility to ensure a grown adult doesn’t forget something they need, if he forgets something it’s not my fault and that’s not an argument I can get on board with.

Neither do we, we split our luggage but it doesn’t mean I’m responsible for it all.

My mum did my dads packing for their cruise. She usually did all the packing when we went on holiday as kids. This time though, she accidentally sent some of the clothes he needed for the holiday, to storage. (They are between houses.) My sister and I both pointed out that my dad should do his own packing. 🤣

Imma paediatric nurse and mums frequently complain about what their partner has packed, if their child has been admitted as an emergency.

The only time I have ever packed my partners bag was when he was rushed to hospital and was there for week!

My 6 year old DS is capable of packing his own suitcase (I do have to check it but he is 6 and he was pretty spot on).

Why can't a grown adult male?

We prefer to choose what we take on holiday so neither of us would want the other to pack for them

You can choose what you take without actually physically packing it yourself.

My husband always packs the car. We agree on what needs to be packed beforehand. Suitcases are no different.

But if you’re putting together a pile of the stuff you want to go into a case, I simply can’t fathom how designating the physical putting of that stuff into the case to someone else is worthwhile or even something I’d consider a task that’s particularly onerous.

Even if you’re splitting between more than one case, half in one, half in another or whatever and that’s that.

I’m convinced some people just want to make themselves appear useful by inserting themselves into doing a job when it’s not even something that is of particular use.