How normal is it to pack your partner's bags?

[BathtimeBedlam]

I feel hard done by in that in my house I pack all the bags for me and the kids and DH does himself. This is also true for laundry etc. I do me and the family and the bedding etc, he looks after himself.

Recently he went on a stag do and he told me he was the "most modern man" there as the mens wives had packed their bags for them, despite not even going on the trip. So he felt he had bragging rights that he managed to pack his own 2 day trip bag.

Is this a common thing? He said my expectations were too high and that behind closed doors women were still packing, washing, and ironing the blokes stuff as well as their own and the kids.

Wanted to see what the women on MN think!

Laundry is my department (the kitchen is DH's), and we tend to share luggage if all going away, so I tend to do the packing (DH will get out what he wants to take) but it wouldn't occur to me pack for him for a trip I wasn't going on.

No! Not at all normal. I have never packed a bag for my husband (apart from the time he was rushed to hospital and I took some stuff in for him thr next day!) Ridiculous.

I do find a lot of men "do the cooking" as their bit (as does mine) but interesting that is a more creative skilled thing that people enjoy. My DH does the cooking while I'm left doing laundry, cleaning the toilets, etc. He says it evens out but he is enjoying spending hours perfecting the latest Jamie Oliver...I am NOT enjoying scraping shit off the loo.

Doing the packing is certainly not treating my husband as a toddler I just have far more time. I do all our Company accounts so have a pretty good hand on internet banking ( he’s not so hot at it) I would never leave him to book a holiday but then I am a control freak
I have never cooked a Christmas dinner in fact rarely cook these days so is he treating me as toddler? No I hate bloody cooking and he is really good at it. Horses for courses

Re husbands packing for wives. I remember my friend’s mum telling us a story about the birth of my friend (1960s).

they didn’t own a car and were taking friend home from hospital in her pram. Friend’s mum told her DH to pack her a bag with clothes to take baby home, adding he was to pack “nice stuff”.

so he turned up with her best “the dancing” dress, fake fur stole and stilettos! So she had to squeeze her 3 day post partum body and feet into clothes/shoes which were too tight and hobble home, pushing the pram looking like she was going out out.

bloody hilarious 🤣

there’s no way DH and I would pack for each other. I might remind him to pack his shaver as he always forgets that, but that’s the extent of it. Not cos of any division of labour, just because we both want to decide what we are taking!

He's packing a bag for a weekend and thinks he deserves a medal. I think DH is bad but he can at least pack his own stuff and never mentions it.
His dad always did the holiday packing so he just saw it as normal. I don't iron so if he does want something ironed he'll do it.
Washing wise we all do each other's stuff. Only after a conversation though so whoever's doing a white wash will wash all the whites.

I do all the packing, except for his electricals. I also pack the boot (because I am better at boot tetris !) , fit and fill the roof box if we are using one. I also do all the laundry and other household stuff, basically he occasionally feeds himself and pays for some stuff and that is his contribution.

So what. I usually pack just before I leave, why would I pack earlier. And if I forget something, so what, they have shops all over the world, as long as I've got passport, phone and credit cards I'm fine.

What?! That boggles my mind. No way would I be packing anything for DH if he was going away somewhere alone in normal circs. I say in normal circs because I can imagine situations where I might for example if one or more of the kids were very poorly and he was doing the brunt of their care and so I'd do it for him then or something like that. When we are going away as a family it's about 50/50 the packing between us tbh. So some trips I will do most of the packing including some of his and other trips he will and do some of mine etc.

My 12 year old packed her bag for a weeks holiday with her dad (my ex). No man should need a wife to pack his stuff!

How do you know what he wants to take?

Would you want someone to pack for you and choose what you wore on holiday?

I pack the bags, as in I put the stuff in the bags, that is because we have two bags (holdalls) and five people, so I pack items to best fit.

If you are flying you should be spreading stuff across all the bags so if a bag does go missing it isn't just one person without any stuff.

Pathetic men

He'd be waiting a f#@%ing long time and end missing loads of stuff.
I don't have time for that

I used to pack for dh. I worked part-time and e.g.would finish work at 1pm. He would be working until 8pm and we wanted to leave at 8.10pm.

Now I work FT. He still works a lot but you can pack at any stage. You can pack a few days in advance, when you have time, to avoid a last minute rush. So now we all do our own (I do discreetly check the ADHD child’s bag).

In well over 12 years I have never packed his bag. Why would you? I wouldn't let someone pack my bag.. how would you know what is in there?! Mind boggling.

After being married since Noah set sail have a pretty good idea and very often ask which particular trousers. ect he wants. But he’s a bloke and really doesn’t care what I pack as long as it fits and is comfortable.

How do you know what he wants to take?

With DH I just tell him to put on the bed whatever he wants to take and then I pack it in the suitcase, which we share, if there is anything he wants to take that needs washing I give him a deadline a few days before to chuck it in the wash basket. He tried to be a knob about this latter request in the past, but soon discovered that it meant he was missing a few favourite items.

I don't think your DH is a very accurate reporter either though. Because he either
wants you to pack his bags or wants a medal for doing them himself.

I can pretty much guarantee that none of these women pack their husbands suitcases. It’s a confection he has whipped up to let you make you feminist instincts are an outlier (essentially frightening you back into line).

The fact he’s using this is some kind of propaganda to put you in your place is revolting.

Does he normally try to scare you into being more timid?

🤣🤣🤣

My au t packs for one of my uncles. Just recently she wasnt around to do it and he asked my 90 year old grandma to come over and pack for him 🤦🏻‍♀️

I dont know anyone else who is this helpless!

I don't even pack my DC's bags, I don't have a dh but if I did I wouldn't be packing for him either 😆

In the nearly 40 years I have been with DH the only time I have packed a bag for him was when he was lying in the garden surrounded by paramedics and needed stuff for the hospital.

When he hasn't just had a ridiculous accident he is more than capable of packing for himself.

We each pack our own bags. If we are flying on holiday together (with 2 larger bags), I will mix our stuff in case one bag gets lost. In that case, I do all the packing but I expect my husband to get out all the things he wants me to include. When he goes away on his own then I have no idea what he packs, coz it's nothing to do with me.

I have "packing trauma" (I have nightmares etc) from my boarding school years. I have never packed for anyone but me. DH always packed for the DCs.

More fool the wives for treating their husbands like children

We pack our own clothes and whoever has the most time to spare does the kids suitcases.