How normal is it to pack your partner's bags?

[BathtimeBedlam]

I feel hard done by in that in my house I pack all the bags for me and the kids and DH does himself. This is also true for laundry etc. I do me and the family and the bedding etc, he looks after himself.

Recently he went on a stag do and he told me he was the "most modern man" there as the mens wives had packed their bags for them, despite not even going on the trip. So he felt he had bragging rights that he managed to pack his own 2 day trip bag.

Is this a common thing? He said my expectations were too high and that behind closed doors women were still packing, washing, and ironing the blokes stuff as well as their own and the kids.

Wanted to see what the women on MN think!

If he actually wanted you to pack for him I’d be inclined to say ok, you’re right, what a lazy wife I am O lord and master.
Then I’d pack a completely ridiculous collection of stuff so that he would look really silly if he wore it on his stag do. And girly scented toiletries.

None of my friends would pack their partner’s bag for them, and I think most of the men would find it weird and infantilising to have the their wife or girlfriend do something like that for them.

However, DP’s sister apparently always had to pack her ex-husband’s case for him whenever he went anywhere. I think perhaps that sort of thing was a contributor to the ‘ex’ part. DP and his DMIL were appalled when DSIL mentioned it.

Our laundry is mixed, we both put it on when the landing basket is full and it contains all our clothes, and we both put the stuff away depending on who has the time at that moment.

I have always done all the packing but probably because I have always had more time than my DH.

Not normal. My dh always packs his own bag. His choice, but tbh, he wouldnt have one. Not through me anyway.

My kids pack their own bags too. We live away from grandparents so regularly have overnights away to visit them. Since the kids were about 5 we started them packing for themselves. My 7 year old just packed for 4 nights away without my assistance before I even asked her to. And I checked it and it was perfect. All i do for the older ones now is a quick verbal check for amount of outfits, underwear, spare shoes, pjs, toothbrushes and device chargers... #independence

Sure. I pack all his bags, do all his laundry. But he cooks all my dinners so I will take that tradeoff. Plus I like packing and doing laundry so genuinely don't mind.

My husband and dad both pack their own bags. I would hate someone else to pack for me so don’t get why a man would want his wife to do it.

I do pack for the kids - or did - once they got to 11/12 I gave them a list and they did it themselves. Now they are older I let them see my list and go from there.

No. My husband would not let me pack for him even if I wanted to. We have very different packing styles.

He manages to put his ready made packed lunch in his own bag?!

I don't do DHs laundry because he keeps it in a separate basket and because I do everything else for our v young kids so he can wash his own pants.

Is he 8? I’ve never heard of a woman packing her husband’s bag. Surely he needs to pack his own to decide what he wants to take?

The laundry thing is also really odd.

Sounds like a big baby.

It's never crossed my mind to pack my husbands bag and he certainly hasn't asked. If I did he'd think I was kicking him out!

Mine packs his own bags, does his own laundry and makes his own lunch.
We don’t even have children, but we both work so chores are split pretty evenly.

Well I actually PACK both cases - but he pulls everything together that he wants/needs to take by himself. We tend to pack half my things and half HIS things in each suitcase ( in case they get lost, as at least if one gets lost and one doesn't we both have some clothes etc). I don't decide what clothes etc he wants to take

Everybody packs their own bags round here! Lazy manchildren who can’t pack a bloody bag for themselves - honestly, I despair!

Ditto

I don’t think it’s normal at all. I have never packed for my DH and I never would. I don’t know anyone else who would either but maybe that’s my type of crowd. I don’t think anyone who treats their partner like a child would be my type of close friend 🤔

I pack joint toiletries like shampoo for a joint trip but that's it. I wouldn't even pack his toothbrush, shaver, aftershave, etc. Having a penis doesn't preclude you from such activities.

Not normal at all, and very weird in my opinion. I’d have no idea what to pack for DH!

I have never packed my DH's bag in 20y together.
He wouldn't want me to. He's not a toddler do doesnt need Mummy to pick out his clothes.

Nope never packed DHs case for any trip whatsoever, what a ridiculous concept, I’d actually laugh at anyone who did thus, it’s such a bizarre concept that a grown adult can’t pack their own stuff for a trip.

My ex had frequent business trips and always packed his own bag. How would I know which shirts to pack anyway ?

My teen and young adult sons always pack their own bags too. They might ask for suggestions but it's pretty basic adult skill.

I don't even pack my kids bags, haven't since they were in secondary school.

Question: what do these men do if their wife doesn't pack for them?

Do those women work or housewives?

I think it’s incredibly old fashioned and every time I see someone saying they do it on here I cringe.

I agree with everything being said. And to reiterate I don't pack DH bags. Just taken aback to find out most of the other blokes had their bags packed for them. DH says lots of his friends have their wardrobes organised by their other halves. I guess although this isn't a v accurate poll as all the women on MN who are packing their husband's bags aren't going to proudly announce it.