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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague sent me a dick pic

273 replies

Fiascoo · 05/08/2023 14:35

Last night, totally out of the blue. He said "fancy helping me out with this?" 🤮

I replied with 😱 and he said "is that it?" I just replied saying "I'm busy." And it's been left at that.

I'm mortified. For context he's about 12 years older, married with a young child.

Maybe I've been too nice about it, but he could make things difficult for me at work which is why I replied in the way I did.

Aibu not to have been more harsh? I feel so uncomfortable about it.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 05/08/2023 14:35

Send it to HR, I'm sure they can help him out.

Flyflyfly · 05/08/2023 14:36

Talk to your people team on Monday about it.

Helpmymenopausalfanny · 05/08/2023 14:36

Please report this to your employer. It’s sexual harassment. x

CornishTiger · 05/08/2023 14:36

You have been way too nice. Who exactly is he in relation to work. Personally I’d be concerning reporting to Police and HR.

AtrociousCircumstance · 05/08/2023 14:36

HR on Monday, immediately. And screenshot before he deletes.

Disgusting piece of shit.

Luxell934 · 05/08/2023 14:37

I think you are the one who could make things difficult in work for him after what he did.

What kind of relationship did you have before? Purely professional? Flirty banter? Either way it's disgusting. If it was me I wouldn't of replied, and instead be telling my boss on Monday.

Original poster
Fiascoo · 05/08/2023 14:37

He is very senior to me, I am worried no one will take me seriously.

He sent it out with working hours, does that matter?

OP posts:
Temporaryname158 · 05/08/2023 14:37

You’ve been way too nice. Contact HR Monday, inform the police on the non emergency number and block him

Lavender14 · 05/08/2023 14:37

TomatoSandwiches · 05/08/2023 14:35

Send it to HR, I'm sure they can help him out.

This. That's sexual harassment in the workplace and he's completely in the wrong. Hr should hammer him over that, if they don't you'd have grounds for a grievance.

AtrociousCircumstance · 05/08/2023 14:37

And don’t be nice about it and don’t be scared. He’s the one who has to be scared now. He’s not, because arrogance - not yet.

He could lose his job - no - he should lose his job.

Hottytotty · 05/08/2023 14:37

Totally 🤮
Is there an HR department? Totally share it with them if so.
What are these men thinking? It is just so grim/depressing. I’m sorry it happened to you.

PrinnyPree · 05/08/2023 14:37

100% HR especially if he can make your life difficult, what a scumbag twat. Xx

saffronsoup · 05/08/2023 14:37

Why did you even reply?

There has to be some context that led to him sending you the pic and you responding with emojis.

Seems like there is some mutual flirtation between you and this didn’t come out of the blue.

CurlewKate · 05/08/2023 14:38

Send it to HR.

itsmyp4rty · 05/08/2023 14:38

You turning him down could be more than enough for him to want to make things difficult for you. Don't take that chance, screenshots and report asap.

CurlewKate · 05/08/2023 14:38

Oh, and screenshot. Now!

Temporaryname158 · 05/08/2023 14:38

it doesn’t matter if it’s work time or not. It’s sexual harassment and work will be on a sticky wicket legally if they side with him not you.

send it formally in an email to HR and aski to see then first thing Monday

VictoriaVenkman · 05/08/2023 14:38

Take screenshots as evidence and go straight to HR on Monday and report him. Pervert.

TomatoSandwiches · 05/08/2023 14:38

You have a picture of his dick on your phone.... that he sent you.... you don't get any better evidence of sexual harassment then that.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 05/08/2023 14:39

He only has your number because of work, does he consider this a work matter? If he does then HR will too.

Slobberchops1 · 05/08/2023 14:39

HR first thing on Monday . It’s disgusting and he needs to be stopped

AdoraBell · 05/08/2023 14:39

I would definitely show, and forward, that to HR.

TheChosenTwo · 05/08/2023 14:39

Screenshot it immediately and go and speak to someone in HR asap. This is disgusting behaviour and I’m sure they will be very interested in this. Vile human being. Sorry it happened to you. Have you had any interaction with him before that makes you think he might be interested in you? Or did this come totally out of the blue? Well, obviously either way it’s come out of the blue but has he ever been anything you could have perceived as flirtatious towards you before?

Original poster
Fiascoo · 05/08/2023 14:39

The last time he'd messaged was 2 weeks ago regarding a work thing. Totally normal stuff.

Maybe I shouldn't have replied, I don't know why I did. I was in shock (not to be overly dramatic).

I initially thought maybe he'd sent it to me by mistake and would be embarrassed. However, obviously not.

OP posts:
BellaJuno · 05/08/2023 14:39

saffronsoup · 05/08/2023 14:37

Why did you even reply?

There has to be some context that led to him sending you the pic and you responding with emojis.

Seems like there is some mutual flirtation between you and this didn’t come out of the blue.

Nice victim shaming there!