Colleague sent me a dick pic

[Fiascoo]

Last night, totally out of the blue. He said "fancy helping me out with this?" 🤮

I replied with 😱 and he said "is that it?" I just replied saying "I'm busy." And it's been left at that.

I'm mortified. For context he's about 12 years older, married with a young child.

Maybe I've been too nice about it, but he could make things difficult for me at work which is why I replied in the way I did.

Aibu not to have been more harsh? I feel so uncomfortable about it.

You or the colleague who went with you should follow up with HR say a week after your initial meeting to ask what is going to happen, or at least when will there be a formal investigation.

Really glad you went with your friend. I hope you showed them the picture and they have a screenshot. Definitely follow up if they haven’t come back to you in a week. If they don’t address it he’ll keep doing it, emboldened by having got away with it before.

Well done for reporting this creepy loser.

Yes, I showed them the picture (which contributed to me feeling awkward), but, I feel like I've done the right thing. I keep telling myself that anyway!

Well done OP. I'm sure you feel shaken but honestly - HONESTLY, you've done the right thing. I hope the rest of the process goes smoothly and in your favour. Come back here anytime if you need support.

You’ve absolutely done the right thing. I’m really proud of you. And, yes, come back if you need support, there’s lots here for you.

You did the right thing
Feeling awkward is normal because your boss decided to "flash" you in work, but that was his choice.

That was brave of you x

Well done you! You did absolutely the right thing plus you were courageous. 💪

OP before going to the police take screenshot of ALL communication that has happened between you. The police are likely to take your phone as evidence.You should then be given a sexual violence adviser (ISVA) who will support you and advise through the process. Keep as much communication written than in person. If they don't do anything/try to sweep it under the carpet then it becomes very challenging as you would have to resign and claim constructive dismissal. The onus would be entirely on you to do this (claim C.D) I supported one of my clients through the constructive dismissal phase, who was raped at work, but as in most rape sexual assault cases it was her word against his. However you DO have evidence. Protect this at all costs Are you in a union? Have you been employed for more than 2 years as this is relevant as there are no employment rights for claiming C.D. There is a solicitors website who are very good on employment law think it's Thompson and Thompson but will che king and get back. Get onto ACAS but also if not in the union speak to HR about having a witness at ALL meetings. Make sure notes are taken, checked and agreed to. Ensure they take steps IMMEDIATELY to ensure you do not have to be in his presence. Don't allow them to drag their feet either. If they do then raise a grievance check all policies for guidelines be very aware of timescales. Take care of yourself as you are now in a legal process, and Employment law is heavily weighted in favour of the employer.

Yes it is Thompson and Thompson though you can go through the law society website to find a solicitor in your area.

if They don’t take this seriously get a lawyer and you will win. Don’t for a moment think it’s your responsibility to make this better. He’s a predator.

He’ll have done this before. Happened to a friend and she went to
HR who had heard rumours but had no proof, the perpetrator was suspended immediately and out on his ear very quickly after that.

WTF is there to investigate?! I'm sorry but that doesn't seem good enough under the circumstances. Sod HR, take it to the police

They didn't say they'll investigate. They said "we will get back to you"

If you are intending on reporting to the police I would advise against discussing further about the incident itself either here or in RL. As it has the potential to contaminate evidence and undermine a criminal investigation. Incidentally you can contact a sexual assault service in your area you needn't wait for the police to refer you. Depending on the area you live you are likely to be able to find their information via your local force website. They will be able to offer you appropriate professional support. Also victim support is another national service you can contact.

Even worse

I can only think they have to let you know the outcome of his dismissal once it’s been confirmed.

Not in a good company
Imagine you were the HR person.
Its your Oh, this is bad, real bad moment
Its a criminal issue as well as a HR issue and you have never had this happen before so there is no How to Sack a Flasher manul
But you know that per company policy you (the company) are sacking the director for gross misconduct.
Your job is to manage the investigation process so that the director is lawfully sacked and cant sue for his job back.
Lots of people win on the way they were sacked not that they were sacked.

The OP should write up a memo on what happened at the meeting and email to the person in HR

Hey OP I hope you have a paper trail for this - ie emails outlining everything?

If not write an email to HR ‘further to our meeting regarding me being sent an inappropriate and explicit photograph by ‘gross man name’, I hope to be updated about next steps soon’, for eg.

@AnSolas very good point about lack of due process being followed leading to a sacking not sticking, or large amounts of compensation.

I can understand someone wanting the company to deal with it as dismissal of the offender is enough, but if the company don't act at all or quickly enough, the Police seems the right thing to do.

@AnSolas that's a fair point. It just sounded brush off-y but I hadn't really thought about it from the HR person 's POV

@LlynTegid

@Catsanfan

the higher up the company the slower it can be because the director role has more responsiblity than say the post delivery role

Its a director role so a PR issue and the company need to issue an internal memo to staff to referr calls to an official spokesperson etc.
Is the phone a company phone? if it is do the company have a duty to involve the police themselves? What else may be on company assets?
What damage can the director during the process?
Is locking him out of some systems or all systems needed?
Who do they pull in to replace him? how long is need to set the new person up and how quietly can it be done?

Some of the planning may need non-board board meetings, off site, in "secret" for crisis management if he is a director appointed by the shareholders

Sometimes the person is not offically dismissed but "left to [whatever]" because that is the cheapest option for the company.