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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Topless abroad . Yes or no

648 replies

HowmuchcanispendatChristmas · 03/08/2023 16:03

Just after everyone's opinions. I'm on an all inclusive holiday . Nothing flash . European destination. Hot sunny . 3*. Would you feel offended if a female sunbathes topless at the pool? Just for context I have done , but put bikini top on to go in pool and her drinks . It's literally just going topless when laying on sunbed . More context age range is babies up to 70+ . Lots of different shapes and weights of people . Lots of bellies make and female and lots of big boobs on men. Like I say this is just for context . Just interested in people's opinions. I'm with my husband on holiday .

OP posts:
continentallentil · 03/08/2023 17:24

milveycrohn · 03/08/2023 17:16

Not if it's a hotel with children.
Otherwise, if a hotel for adults, then its fine, though I would not do it myself.

Why is going topless a problem around children?!

nonmerci99 · 03/08/2023 17:24

I wouldn’t, but I’d have no problem at all with other women doing so. In my experience it’s very common to sunbathe topless in European countries such as France and Sweden, so I wouldn’t bat an eye.

If anyone is offended, that is most definitely their problem.

Wexone · 03/08/2023 17:26

just back from hols in Italy. fab 30 degree weather. pool and beach most days. didn't see any women topless. lots had strapless bikinis OK. but no topless. knock yourself out if ya want however I would have to keep putting suncream on every 10 mins..burnt nipples not good for me

nonmerci99 · 03/08/2023 17:28

Text123 · 03/08/2023 17:08

Why on earth do people compare this to a man going topless? It's not the same thing, and it's so lame to pretend that it is. Women have breasts. They are seen as sexual. Men do not. It's like saying, "well, my 5 year old hasn't got a top, on so why do I have to?". It's not a comparison that makes any sense.

Personally, I find my own breasts highly sexual. I am aroused if topless. I would not feel comfortable at all getting my breasts out in front of strange men and kids. Just no.

Would I judge you, if you did? Yes, in all honesty I would. I would think that you were attention seeking and that it was highly inappropriate. If you don't want tan lines, you can move straps across. Of course, you'll get a load of women saying, "your boobs, your choice", but if their DH was on the sunbed next to your sunbed, I doubt they'd be so enthusiastic. Especially if you have great boobs, and theirs pale in comparison.

But this is MN, and often people don't say what they really feel.

You should probably talk to someone about these feelings. 😳

grhg · 03/08/2023 17:29

Wouldn't bother me, I grew up around it. Definitely caused me no harm as a child seeing it. Think it was quite positive actually seeing women all shapes and sizes.

JMKid · 03/08/2023 17:30

Beach yes as a lot more common. I've never once been to a hotel where women were topless. Hotel pool no.

ClaudiaWankleman · 03/08/2023 17:30

I have absolutely no idea why this is my logic, but it is:

  • Fine if you're lying by the pool or at the beach
  • If you sit up or walk around somewhere, the top should be on.
golddustwomen · 03/08/2023 17:31

I wouldn't think bad of someone who did but I wouldn't. My boobs wouldn't behave and would be very embarrassing for me Grin

gogomoto · 03/08/2023 17:33

Depends on the country. It's not that common now to be honest, years ago far more women were topless. I think walking around topless, even worse playing sports is not on unless designated nudist area ( where we stayed was clothing optional in one pool area, keeps everyone happy)

Text123 · 03/08/2023 17:33

continentallentil · 03/08/2023 17:24

Why is going topless a problem around children?!

How far do you want to take it? What about bottomless? If not, why not?

Because boobs are sexualised, whether you like it or not.

TwitTwont · 03/08/2023 17:33

User1800 · 03/08/2023 16:35

by the sounds of it has it kind of gone out of fashion to go topless abroad?

I did it in the mid 80s quite happily and there were more women topless than those covered up, wonder why it's not as prevalent now? Social media maybe? high chance of a nice pair appearing on tie Tok maybe, obviously that didn't happen in the 80s

You do you OP if you're comfortable doing it carry on!

I was thinking it sounds as if it’s gone out of fashion too. It did used to be more tops off than on.
I wonder if it’s because of cameras of phones now and women not wanting to risk being uploaded online?

PinkIcedCream · 03/08/2023 17:33

No, I wouldn’t go topless but thats because I’d be more worried about skin cancer, especially on the delicate skin on your boobs. I always cover up my arms and legs or sit in the shade and I’d find it boring just lying on a sun bed for hours on end.

Auntieofdragons · 03/08/2023 17:36

It’s not very classy and would make my teen DS feel very uncomfortable (someone else being topless I mean - he would absolutely die if I did it 😆). I wouldn’t like it in a hotel I stayed in - can’t you fry your skin on a beach instead?

thunderandsunshine01 · 03/08/2023 17:36

I wouldn’t at the actual resort, and I’d probably be a bit annoyed if you did - All paid to be there and I guess I don’t want nudity inflicted on me or my kids - much similar to not wanting to see nudity at a public pool where we all have to share the facilities. On a beach though it’s a free space

DoraSpenlow · 03/08/2023 17:36

I would not be offended but be aware that you may attract the attention of juvenile males. Recently back from Ibiza and there were a group of youngsters near us on the beach who took it in turns to go on "tit patrol", their words.

A couple of them would come back and tell the others where the "best ones" were. Another couple would come back and say " there's a great pair over by the blue parasol" and off they would go for a look.

I'm not saying it's right I'm saying that's what I heard. And no I wasn't brave enough to go and challenge them.

Roozkitty · 03/08/2023 17:37

No, I wouldn't. But only because of the risk of skin cancer.

AncientBallerina · 03/08/2023 17:37

it really depends on the country
Greece - yes definitely - hell, I’ve gone nude in Greece but not at a swimming pool
France -probably
Portugal - no way
Italy - not sure - probably not in the south
The more Roman Catholic a country is the less inclined I would be to do it be (I am Irish Catholic - not being prejudiced here - just my personal observation )
I think in many countries it’s fine on the beach where there is more room for everyone. Swimming pool feels a bit in your face but it’s fine if you’re lying down. I couldn’t care less myself but others might be uncomfortable
On holidays in Ireland once in the 80s there was a top less woman on the beach - surprised it wasn’t on the 6 o clock news!!!!

Text123 · 03/08/2023 17:37

Wexone · 03/08/2023 17:26

just back from hols in Italy. fab 30 degree weather. pool and beach most days. didn't see any women topless. lots had strapless bikinis OK. but no topless. knock yourself out if ya want however I would have to keep putting suncream on every 10 mins..burnt nipples not good for me

I can just imagine Op applying sun cream to her breasts, and rubbing all that cream in, in front of men she doesn't know. And not one of those men would become aroused. 🙄And of course all of the women on MN, who said topless is fine, would just love it, if the Op rubbed in this cream, whilst sitting next to their DH. Lovely jubbly, right?

Niftyswiftie · 03/08/2023 17:37

Text123 · 03/08/2023 17:08

Why on earth do people compare this to a man going topless? It's not the same thing, and it's so lame to pretend that it is. Women have breasts. They are seen as sexual. Men do not. It's like saying, "well, my 5 year old hasn't got a top, on so why do I have to?". It's not a comparison that makes any sense.

Personally, I find my own breasts highly sexual. I am aroused if topless. I would not feel comfortable at all getting my breasts out in front of strange men and kids. Just no.

Would I judge you, if you did? Yes, in all honesty I would. I would think that you were attention seeking and that it was highly inappropriate. If you don't want tan lines, you can move straps across. Of course, you'll get a load of women saying, "your boobs, your choice", but if their DH was on the sunbed next to your sunbed, I doubt they'd be so enthusiastic. Especially if you have great boobs, and theirs pale in comparison.

But this is MN, and often people don't say what they really feel.

Agree.

FuppingEll · 03/08/2023 17:40

I can just imagine Op applying sun cream to her breasts, and rubbing all that cream in

Eesh. You are imagining the OP topless rubbing cream onto herself and are admitting it on her thread 🤮

hot2trotter · 03/08/2023 17:43

I wouldn't do it but have no problem with women who do! I remember going on family holidays as a child/teen and both my mum and my nan sunbathed topless. Nobody batted an eyelid. I did find it odd/strange (not sure how to describe it really) that my mum was topless in front of her dad (my grandad) and my nannan was topless in front of her son in law (my step dad) but never said anything. Then my aunt and uncle used to join us occasionally so my aunt was then topless in front of her father in law and brother in law. As I said, not something I'd do but you should go for it!

AmazingSnakeHead · 03/08/2023 17:44

I would (and do) on the beach, but not at the pool. It's just not the done thing in the places I've visited. I don't think I'd think anything if someone else did - I'd probably think you were foreign, but no judgement beyond that.

MaryShelley1818 · 03/08/2023 17:44

I agree with the "I would judge" comments.

Back in the 80's and 90's possibly but extremely dated and tacky now.
People are more educated now on the danger of sun damage and cancer.
Also totally disingenuous to pretend people don't know the difference between naked breasts and a man's bare chest.

Getting your tits out at a hotel in front of other people's children...really inappropriate. Something definitely attention seeking about it, especially if you're the only one that should really tell you something.

Text123 · 03/08/2023 17:45

FuppingEll · 03/08/2023 17:40

I can just imagine Op applying sun cream to her breasts, and rubbing all that cream in

Eesh. You are imagining the OP topless rubbing cream onto herself and are admitting it on her thread 🤮

Yes, I can just picture the scene. It's not something I'd want to see, to be honest. And yes, most men would find it highly arousing. And no, I wouldn't want her sitting next to my DH's sunbed or mine, whilst she did it.

If me and my DH popped next door, to see Sharon for a coffee in the garden, I wouldn't expect her to sit there bra-less because it was a sunny day. The context is different, but the upshot is the same.

Browsing2023 · 03/08/2023 17:46

I have an awful body. Size 26 obese, 42J boobs that hang down to my waist and nipples pointing south.

I still like to sun bath topless on holiday. It so freeing and feels amazing. I don’t care what other people think as I am never going to see them again.