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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To remove SIL from the group chat?

1000 replies

whyberude · 02/08/2023 10:35

We have a family group chat, my mum, my brothers, me, my husband and my brothers wife (SIL)

I just find her so rude. We all message each morning just to say good morning to which she never replies or messages good morning to us. It takes just a second of your day? Means a lot to my mum, her MIL who lives alone and can be lonely. Why can't you just say it?

She very, very rarely engages in conversation. If you @ her directly in the chat she will reply (which leads me to suspect the chat is muted and she only gets notifications when tagged...)

Only one in a blue moon do I click on the chat and see two blue ticks, and when I slide across she is the only one who hasn't read them. All the messages in the chat will be grey ticks for weeks at a time until one day they'll randomly be blue where she's finally clicked on us (and there must of been hundreds of missed messages by that point)

She will very rarely send a photo or video of her kids, to which I just ignore. If you don't want to bother with us I'm not bothering with you.

AIBU to just remove her? Clearly she doesn't want to be in it, so why does she need to be? It is just so rude.

OP posts:
WildUnchartedWaters · 02/08/2023 20:13

Has Op gone because we difnt say good morning :(

Amberjane41 · 02/08/2023 20:14

Bankholnightmare · 02/08/2023 20:05

Maybe OP muted us?

Lets all say good morning to her tomorrow and see if she responds 🤣

Just spat my wine out at that one 😂😂😂

Hawkins009 · 02/08/2023 20:15

@whyberude
Good evening op, can you respond or are you doing the exact thing your sil is doing?

Sunshineclouds11 · 02/08/2023 20:17

I bet it's all kicked off cause she's removed her or her SIL seen this thread 😂

Pootle23 · 02/08/2023 20:17

SoupDragon · 02/08/2023 10:41

She will very rarely send a photo or video of her kids, to which I just ignore. If you don't want to bother with us I'm not bothering with you.

I can't believe you have the cheek to call her rude when you are this petty! 😂

no wonder she doesn't participate.

This.

So you expect your SIL to constantly message but you ignore things she puts up…that is such pathetic behaviour it’s untrue!

WildUnchartedWaters · 02/08/2023 20:18

Amberjane41 · 02/08/2023 20:14

Just spat my wine out at that one 😂😂😂

Show quote history

Stop it 😭😭

Starlightstarbright2 · 02/08/2023 20:19

She has your group on mute . I would too . She virtually never posts anything but when she does you ignore - no wonder she doesn’t participate .

I can only say for me it would be just another job to do in a morning - mornings with kids are hectic.. I would have no desire to join in saying morning every morning with no real point

WildUnchartedWaters · 02/08/2023 20:19

Pootle23 · 02/08/2023 20:17

This.

So you expect your SIL to constantly message but you ignore things she puts up…that is such pathetic behaviour it’s untrue!

Show quote history

Maybe op is ignoring us too!

ComeAlongNow23 · 02/08/2023 20:21

Maybe she feels like a bit of an intruder in the chat? Her husband's mum, his brother and his sister. I would probably feel a bit awkward. Is your partner or your other brother's partner in it?

FoodFann · 02/08/2023 20:21

Nightmare 😂 She has to say good morning to you all every morning?! That’s mad

Starlightstarbright2 · 02/08/2023 20:22

Bankholnightmare · 02/08/2023 20:05

Maybe OP muted us?

Lets all say good morning to her tomorrow and see if she responds 🤣

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Anniegetyourgun · 02/08/2023 20:24

Whatsapp is part of FB or should one say META nowadays, and is therefore the invention of the devil. Given what it apparently does to familial relationships the devil is no doubt very proud of it.

Rachie1973 · 02/08/2023 20:25

whyberude · 02/08/2023 10:35

We have a family group chat, my mum, my brothers, me, my husband and my brothers wife (SIL)

I just find her so rude. We all message each morning just to say good morning to which she never replies or messages good morning to us. It takes just a second of your day? Means a lot to my mum, her MIL who lives alone and can be lonely. Why can't you just say it?

She very, very rarely engages in conversation. If you @ her directly in the chat she will reply (which leads me to suspect the chat is muted and she only gets notifications when tagged...)

Only one in a blue moon do I click on the chat and see two blue ticks, and when I slide across she is the only one who hasn't read them. All the messages in the chat will be grey ticks for weeks at a time until one day they'll randomly be blue where she's finally clicked on us (and there must of been hundreds of missed messages by that point)

She will very rarely send a photo or video of her kids, to which I just ignore. If you don't want to bother with us I'm not bothering with you.

AIBU to just remove her? Clearly she doesn't want to be in it, so why does she need to be? It is just so rude.

Is your family a cult?

far too worried about her reactions. Why does it matter when she uses it.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 02/08/2023 20:25

So we all have to say good morning to OP when we get up tomorrow and if she doesn't reply she's not allowed to say shit about the SIL anymore😂

WildUnchartedWaters · 02/08/2023 20:26

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 02/08/2023 20:25

So we all have to say good morning to OP when we get up tomorrow and if she doesn't reply she's not allowed to say shit about the SIL anymore😂

If MN pulls the thread before we get a chance, we march at dawn.

kayserah · 02/08/2023 20:29

I mute my in law family group too. It’s very annoying and over gushy. Oh hey there you might be my SIL

tennesseewhiskey1 · 02/08/2023 20:30

You’re right - remove her, I don’t think anyone will want to be part of such an Intense group anyway!

TheUnintentionalHorcrux · 02/08/2023 20:31
Opening Ceremony Sport GIF by moonbug

Most batshit thread of 2023 nominee.

SnobblyBobbly · 02/08/2023 20:35

Both me and my husband left the family group chat immediately when it was set up - I'd just been diagnosed with cancer and they were all blathering on about I don't even know what, it was just too much/bad timing.

So now whenever I see MIL & FIL one of them will always say, without fail, 'Oh did you see x, y or z? Oh no you wouldn't because it was on the family chat' 🙄

I also feel like it's for 'their' family. It had DH's aunt/cousins/cousins kids on it. I like them just fine, but I don't like them 'that' much. It's nice for them. Your chat is nice for you.

WildUnchartedWaters · 02/08/2023 20:46

Shh everyone. Youl fill up the thread then we wont all get to say good morning. :(

Red0 · 02/08/2023 20:48

I wonder if this is actually the SIL writing this post to show her husband how bloody weird his family are and to prove to him that we all agree!

FarmGirl78 · 02/08/2023 20:53

"You need to be exactly like us or you're out"......no, its YOU who's being rude, not her.

Window82 · 02/08/2023 21:14

Good Evening - just getting in there before OP gets angry.

Fuckingmentalme · 02/08/2023 21:19

Good evening OP. Thank you very much for the laugh.

PS- hope you reply to my message or else I'd think you're really rude and would ask Mumsnet to delete your account

ToWhitToWhoo · 02/08/2023 21:25

Yes, YABU. When you said, 'she is so rude', I thought she must be actively insulting or quarrelsome; but to get so het up just because she doesn't participate as much as you think she should? Well, if you continue to be this judgemental and pushy, she just might solve your problem by removing herself!

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