How generous are you with money in friendships

[Ryvitas]

Inspired by another thread.
I will likely get criticised for this, but if I go out for a coffee or bite to eat (on the very odd occasion) I will pay for my own, I won't pay for my friends'. I don't like letting others pay for mine, but if they absolutely insist, I will make sure I buy theirs the next time. Otherwise, I will just pay for my own, and let them pay for their own.
I don't buy rounds. Again if someone's bought me a drink I will buy them one, but I won't otherwise.
I don't tend to buy them gifts unless it's an event like a wedding or a new baby.
I would never lend a friend money unless it's a life or death situation, or an absolutely desperate situation.
Something like 50p ok, but not regularly.
It probably all sounds very transactional and harsh. I believe I'm a supportive friend, but I refuse to mix money with friends.
My partner has a friend who's addicted to drugs and constantly asks them all to borrow money.
I've had several leeches in the past who always forgot their wallet and it's always 'oh I'll pay you back'.
Too many people who like being paid for.

It surely depends on the sort of friendship you have.
I have a few very close friends. With those i don't count. I offer, they offer, it all works out in the end. For drinks it makes sense for us to have one of us buying in turn. For meals or theatre tickets either we split or we don't, depends on context. Only do presents with very close friends. And i have lent money to a friend when she needed it and would do it again but it was an amount i could afford to write off if necessary.
For me this is part of friendship but i have some friends who are closer to me than family.
Also i earn enough that i don't worry much about spending.
If I felt I was being taken advantage of then I would to with your approach OP. But then I'd reconsider the friendship as well.

You really don't make sense. The people who can't afford to split a bill are not ripping off anybody. Do you generally take advantage, expecting others to pay for you?

How disgusting that you look down on people who wouldn't want or be able to pay for what you've eaten and drunk and how crass of you that you'd expect them to do that.

You don't offend me, I don't know you. I really wouldn't want to.

I'll just leave this here...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4864131-splitting-the-bill-ended-up-paying-3x-my-consumption

:)

It surely depends on the sort of friendship you have
I suspect you're right.

I choose to have friends who aren't cheeky fuckers and who also don't keep tabs on pennies or make sure they're always keeping score. I wouldn't find value in friendships with either of those behaviours. I find my friends are fair so bill splitting vs paying for our own depends who what everyone has ordered /what we're doing. Any small discrepancy on an individual event level all comes out in the wash.

I'd feel differently if I socialised with grabby people who are always looking for people to foot the bill for their expensive tastes.

Some people have to 'keep tabs on pennies'? Some people are poor. Entirely different to being scabby.

With good friends I don't keep tabs. Some earn about the same as me, some earn vastly more, one or two are skint. With the skint ones I try to pay for everything. With the ones (the majority) about my level we take it more or less in turns (so one of us would always pay for dinner for both, or the group, and another time the other way round). My richest friends basically pay for everyone else all the time.

Perfect example

Perfect example
It's a perfect example of total cheeky fuckery that everyone agrees is cheeky fuckery.

The OP in that thread was also quite happy splitting bills when everyone ordered similar things and the cost was usually the same, around £50.

Not sure what that has to do with this thread when some people keep tabs of odd quids and pennies.