To think the other hens should pay?

[Issueatwork]

Friends hen party in 48 hours in a European city. It’s the first of our group of friends to be married and we’re all really happy and excited for her.

There are 20 attendees, and so the maid of honour found a hotel where she can book 5 rooms of 4, the cost per room for the weekend is £960, meaning £240pp.

The maid of honour chose who goes in which room and did a perfect job, everyone is with their friend/family group and worked out really well.

We have to pay by the end of the month and have been given time to save, however one person in my room has now dropped out due to money issues. The MOH has said the remaining three of us sharing this room now need to make up the £240 lost, so £80 each. This takes the cost from £240pp to £320pp for the three of us whilst the rest of the party pay the same.

If everybody in the party paid the difference it would only be an additional £12.63 each - WIBU to suggest this? I get it’s our hotel room, but could we not look at it as the cost of the accommodation per head has gone up as whole?

Never been to one of these weekends so unsure how these things work.

Friends hen party isn’t in 48 hours, I meant it is 48 hours!

Actually the one who dropped out should still pay because she's left everyone else in the lurch

I’d 100% suggest this, no way would I expect 3 of the group to pick up the entire cost.

I kind of agree, but it 100% won’t be happening.

I agree with you OP, the cost should be shared equally.

YANBU. I would happily pay £12 extra to avoid three people having to pay £80 more, that's nuts. I'm sure most decent people would!

YANBU at all, but I also thing the one who dropped out should pay

This happened to me when I was organising one for my best friend. One of her distant relatives ghosted me for months after agreeing to pay x amount for the weekend and finally told me 3 weeks before she couldn't come (everything was booked against my card so i was on the hook). I asked her to pay the full share as opposed to splitting it between everyone else because this person had a history of lying to get out of things. In your situation (as the drop out is due to money), I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest splitting between everyone. It wouldn't be fair for you and a few others to bear the brunt of it. The alternative is asking the drop out to pay but that's awkward in this case.

Yes... everyone should pay.
You can offer to swap to a room of 4 so you don't have to pay. It would highlight how unfair this is

The original person should still pay, you can’t drop out after commuting and things being booked.
Failing that everyone should split it. It’s not the fault of the 3 people who happen to have been assigned a room with her.

How can she if she dropped oit because of money issues?
She literallh can’t pay.
(And of course would be actually going, if she could)

I agree that it should be shared equally amongst the whole group, altho as mentioned by someone already, the one dropping out should pay by rights. I’d certainly happily pay £12 in order to save three having to fork out £80 extra, that’s so unfair!!

Absolutely the cost should be spread over the remaining 19 people. Then it’s only an extra £13 per person rather than £80.
One empty bed in a room of 4 beds is hardly going to make a difference to the three remaining people. Definitely not fair for the three of you to cover the whole cost.

The fairest thing would be to split the increased costs equally.

There's inevitably going to be a lot of financial risk with a big expensive hen do, especially when it's a group of people who may not all know each other. I think you have to be prepared for people to drop out.

I feel really uncomfortable about the whole thing. The person who dropped out is the least closest to the bride but is my best friend. I think she was only initially invited to be included, so it almost feels like my responsibility!

I’m going to try to figure out how to relay this all the MOH

I'm disappointed. I thought this was a thread about impoverished chickens.

Too late now, but the monies should have been taken before the booking, then this wouldn't have been an issue, and if the rooms were no longer available then everyone gets refunded.
Back to your dilemma everyone in the group needs to pay more, otherwise you risk losing more people as £80 is a lot more to stump up, and someone else could decide to pull out, leaving an even bigger hole to fill.

The correct solution is for the drop-out to still pay, as she agreed to come and has created the difficulty.

If the organiser wants the cost covered by the remaining three, a reasonable first solution would be to ask all of the others if anyone wants to pay extra to be in a three-person room instead of be in a four-person room. It may mean swapping but some may prefer it. (Frankly, I'd pay extra to have my own room rather than share with three others!)

Otherwise I agree with others that the extra cost should be shared by all. If you want to force the issue you could mention that you can't afford an extra £80 and may need to drop out yourself - that might spur the others on.

Hen party organisers need to learn the important lesson. NEVER BOOK THINGS WITHOUT COLLECTING THE PAYMENTS UP FRONT!

I'm going away with friends soon and I'm having my own room. I'm paying more but that is entirely my choice. This was not your choice nor the other two you are sharing with so it's not fair for you to pay more.

MOH, re covering the cost of Jessica's room. I don't think it's feasible / reasonable/ manageable for the three in her room to find £80 each, and worried it might lead to someone else dropping out. Is there any scope to change to a smaller room, otherwise to split the extra cost amongst us all.

MOH, re covering the cost of Jessica's room. It isn't feasible for the three of us to cover £80 extra each. We'd never have agreed to come if the initial cost per bed was £320. Splitting it between the group seems reasonable.

I would just say that you cannot afford/ justify the extra money. What if someone else in another room drops out - then those people will then have to pay an extra £80 each. £12 each is so much easier and will create more of a positive atmosphere on the weekend. Otherwise, I think you and a couple of others will be quietly seething that the whole weekend cost you a lot more.

Yes, the person who dropped out should still pay for her hotel room. She'll still save money because she won't be paying any of the other costs which could be more than the cost of the room. Or can she find someone to go in her place - is there someone else who knows people who could go?

Maybe if it's absolutely impossible/truely dreadful awful distressing circumstances, the cost of her place could be shared by the entire group.

But it's very unfair that an extra cost has been lumped on 3 people, just because they happened to have been put in a room with flaky friend.

You can’t book a holiday and then change your mind and walk away Scot free. Why should it make a difference that someone else has booked and paid for it first whilst giving you time to pay? You still owe the money.

I definitely think everyone on hen party splitting it is much fairer. Or if they don't agree to that, look into whether a smaller, cheaper room is available for the three of you
If it was me there's no way I'd be paying an extra £80 because someone dropped out.

Why did your friend agree to it in the first place?

It's not fair that she's now financially impacting everyone else going.