To think the other hens should pay?

[Issueatwork]

Friends hen party in 48 hours in a European city. It’s the first of our group of friends to be married and we’re all really happy and excited for her.

There are 20 attendees, and so the maid of honour found a hotel where she can book 5 rooms of 4, the cost per room for the weekend is £960, meaning £240pp.

The maid of honour chose who goes in which room and did a perfect job, everyone is with their friend/family group and worked out really well.

We have to pay by the end of the month and have been given time to save, however one person in my room has now dropped out due to money issues. The MOH has said the remaining three of us sharing this room now need to make up the £240 lost, so £80 each. This takes the cost from £240pp to £320pp for the three of us whilst the rest of the party pay the same.

If everybody in the party paid the difference it would only be an additional £12.63 each - WIBU to suggest this? I get it’s our hotel room, but could we not look at it as the cost of the accommodation per head has gone up as whole?

Never been to one of these weekends so unsure how these things work.

If the original group was 19 people, and the only combination of rooms to accommodate the whole group was four rooms of 4 and one room of 3, would she expect the people in the room of 3 to pay more or would she split the cost evenly?

Agree with the consensus that any additional cost should be split across everyone.

This is kind of the thing. Our friend group is an 8 so it isn’t self contained as such but we are the three closest to the drop out and there are colleagues in laws etc on the trip. It doesn’t feel fair that we are responsible for somebody else flaking out, but I can kind of see how others might think that way.

Ive messaged the other two in my room privately before I/we reply to MOH.

I'm finding it hard to believe that the hotel cost that much, unless it's a 5*?
Would have been cheaper to get a villa. But YANBU, the MoH isn't being fair by charging you three significantly more. Have you checked out the hotel online yourself to see how much it costs?

That’s a good way to put it actually. Because I’ve checked the hotel website and it’s either a room for 2 or 4 so one room would’ve always costed more pp with off numbers.

Personally I would refuse to even pay the extra £13 because of someone else financial problems. It’s not mine to pay and by the sounds of it she’s hardly know. To the group. I’d tell the MOH she needs to get it from who it’s owed from, not make everyone cough up extra

What would you want the MOH to do, go round her house with a baseball bat? Take her to small claims court? The MOH was daft not to insist on all money being paid upfront, but realistically what is she supposed to do? You can't get blood out out of a stone.

It’s a nice hotel with breakfast included, but I thought it was really high too.
I went on booking.com and put in the city and the dates and that was actually the cheapest that came up apart from hostels which surprised me. It’s a European capital known to be expensive tbf.

As others have said- could anyone else come along to make up the numbers?

I wouldn’t care what the MOH does. I’m not responsible for someone else’s fuck up financially. I’d pay my share but I’m not paying some other tight asses who dropped out.

‘Dear organiser, I know X has dropped out which is such a shame. Unfortunately I can’t afford to pay an extra £80 because of her decision and I don’t think it’s very fair that those of us who happened to be allocated a room with her need to cover her costs while no one else is affected just because they happen to be allocated another room. If it’s not possible to get X to pay (which really I think she should, as she committed to the plan) then the next fairest thing would be for everyone to share the increased cost which would only be £12 more each. If the three of us who were allocated to share with X are asked to pay another £80 that makes the trip unaffordable and I would have to pull out too which would just knock a bigger cost onto the others. Please can you look at this again a bit more fairly? If the justification for only is paying is that we would now have more space in our room then I’m happy to move into one of the rooms of four. Increasing the price by so much just isn’t an option for me I’m afraid.’

The organiser is at fault for booking something before collecting payment. Rookie error.

Oh ok, fair enough. You still shouldn't pay what MoH wants for the drop out though. Definitely suggest your way of splitting it. It would leave a sour taste in my mouth at being forced to pay another £80!!

Unless you made a fuss over your bf coming (which doesn't seem the case) then its not your problem.

It should be treated as if she wasn't going anyway and split between everyone. Its illogical for just you two left in the room to suck it up - what if one of the other hens decides she'd prefer to be in with you two? Then the other two in her room are left paying the £80??

This is a really good response.

Our friend group is an 8 so it isn’t self contained as such but we are the three closest to the drop out and there are colleagues in laws etc on the trip. It doesn’t feel fair that we are responsible for somebody else flaking out, but I can kind of see how others might think that way.

I don't necessarily think that the 3 closest to the drop-out should be left with the bill!

Perfect!

Agree rookie error by the MOH to book before getting at least some money in from the hens first.

And your point is spot on re. room size - she's still booking a 4 bed for an odd number of people as there is no 3 bed available - I would make this super clear, if she was booking for 19 in the first place what would she do?

And for goodness' sake tell her to get payment from everyone else now before someone else drops out and leaves her another problem.

I've been on and organised too many hens with flakes, she needs to smoke them out early doors by asking for money!!

Learn from her lesson OP if you're ever organising a hen yourself!

For goodness sake!
Situation changed.
It’s not like she’s the first one two come sudden money shortage.
I doubt that she did this on purpose.
Even responsible adults can have sudden money problem, and cost of living getting crazier, many have and will be experiencing this.

however one person in my room has now dropped out due to money issues.

Right there in the op.

With what money would she ’still pay’.
And if she could afford it, she’d surely would actually go and not just pay for a room she won’t even be using. That she can’t afford in the first place.

Situations change yea but when you have made a commitment to pay something that then makes it dearer for everyone else you stick to it. Not make everyone else pay your share as your a tight ass

With what money is she supposed to pay?
With what money is she supposed to pay?
With what money is she supposed to pay?

And if she could afford it, wouldn’t she actually go and get her money’s worth?
And if she could afford it, wouldn’t she actually go and get her money’s worth?
And if she could afford it, wouldn’t she actually go and get her money’s worth?

Where is this money supposed to appear from?
Where is this money supposed to appear from?
Where is this money supposed to appear from?

I swear people are getting seriously slow in this place!

The MoH doesn't work for the hens and holds zero financial responsibility. She's likely doing her best and people drop out of hens/parties/whatever all the time. This position - while I totally get it and feel the same - simply isn't fair or reasonable and smacks of 'I'm more important than you'.

This is just one of those shit situations.

I will add, however, that when I was forced to drop out of a hen do last minute because I was sick, I paid for my share of a room and sent money to cover my share of the planned activities/bride treats so that no one else was inconvenienced.

So if she booked it herself on her credit card, she could just tell the credit card company that she has no money and they should accept that?

Someone else has already paid for her. She needs to pay them back. The other hens shouldn’t be bailing her out.

She still owes the money.

😂👏

Then she shouldn’t have accepted what is practically a loan. Someone already paid for her. She owes the money.

It’s completely fair and reasonable not to pay for other peoples financial fuck ups. It’s not about being more important it’s about not paying for a situation you didn’t create.

Why do people get involved in hen dos without getting everyone to pay upfront.