To think the other hens should pay?

[Issueatwork]

Friends hen party in 48 hours in a European city. It’s the first of our group of friends to be married and we’re all really happy and excited for her.

There are 20 attendees, and so the maid of honour found a hotel where she can book 5 rooms of 4, the cost per room for the weekend is £960, meaning £240pp.

The maid of honour chose who goes in which room and did a perfect job, everyone is with their friend/family group and worked out really well.

We have to pay by the end of the month and have been given time to save, however one person in my room has now dropped out due to money issues. The MOH has said the remaining three of us sharing this room now need to make up the £240 lost, so £80 each. This takes the cost from £240pp to £320pp for the three of us whilst the rest of the party pay the same.

If everybody in the party paid the difference it would only be an additional £12.63 each - WIBU to suggest this? I get it’s our hotel room, but could we not look at it as the cost of the accommodation per head has gone up as whole?

Never been to one of these weekends so unsure how these things work.

The friend should pay since they are cancelling after commiting to the trip. But since she won't do it then it should be split equally. Or alternatively the other hens should pay something more so that it evens out.

Just say to the MOH that it's unfair for some to spend more than others when it's not their fault and it should be split equally or you should pay smaller proportion for the bride or something. Easiest to just say it how it is.

Have you enquired whether a cheaper, 3 person room would be available instead, or a double with a pull out sofa?

Has the one that pulled out offer to pay anything at all or does she just assumes everyone else will suck it up?

If neither the above is an option- then yes, it should be divided between all of you

I too thought this was going to be about disgruntled chickens 😂

Drop out still pays, even if she has money problems so she may as well go!

alternatively it’s split between the rest so an extra £13 each.

personally if they don’t agree to that I would be saying I can’t afford the extra £80 so I won’t be going either. They can then pick up all the extra !

YANBU everyone should split the cost.

I think that probably changes things then. Why did your friend say she would come and then not pay?!

I think if you complain in these circumstances you will rock the boat

Everyone should pay the difference. I went on a hen do last year where there was an odd number of people, so ours was a room of 3 instead of the other rooms of 4.

We all paid the same amount.

Or, she should pay.

Ooh now that’s awkward as she was only invited to make you happy and now she’s screwed uou all over and you want everyone to pay. The fact she’s your best mate and only invited due to you changes things.

Unless the room can be switched to a room for three and this reduces the price, drop out still pays. I HATE flaky people like this!
If they’re your best friend, I’d make it clear they owe the money as they’ve agreed to attend.

At this point, the organiser needs to get money off everyone. Non-refundable. Otherwise you leave yourselves open to this happening again.

Email out to say "the cost has gone up by £12 due to a drop out. We need the money now to avoid further increases"

First thing, if transport is still possible, ask all the hens "to avoid having to ask anyoneto pay more" if anyone has a friend that would like to come along. Doesn't matter if they don't know the bride etc. Swap the rooms around so everyone including the new person knows at least one person in their room.

Has everyone now paid? People might be worried that further drop outs will cost them more and more so get everyone's cash asap and no refunds.

This is what I would do too. The fact it’s the ops best friend and only invited for that reason is a drip feed I think many are missing.

op, I think either her or you need to cover the whole thing,even lend your mate rhe money and ask for pay back, I don’t think everyone else should be impacted because of you both.

if it was just another friend , as your op kind of indicated then totally fair for everyone to pay, but that’s not the case, she was only invited as she’s your best mate and you’re aware of this. It was to benefit you. So the pair of you need to sort it.

I did too. I thought perhaps the other hens were going to be asked to lay more eggs to raise funds for the poor chickens with no money.

This hen is going to be an insane amount of money by the end.

Why do people on these kinds of threads always come up with the inspired thought "the drop out should still pay" ?

She dropped out for MONEY ISSUES. Of course she isnt going to pay. As if logically she would say "I cant afford to go, but I will still pay my share to be fair on everyone" 🙄if she could afford to pay, she would be going

The only fair way is for everyone to take a £13 hit.

Doesn't matter why she was invited, she said yes and so is unfortunately responsible for the cost. I definitely wouldn't be paying £80 extra.

Is it actually already booked? OP said MoH can book not has booked?
Can they just get a different room?

🤣🤣🤣 me too I was most disappointed lol

Should be shared equally, definitely.

Cost shared equally.

MoH is U.

I’m worried this is what it will come across as. She wasn’t invited just to make me happy though, I wouldn’t have cared, and the bride wouldn’t care what I thought either way. I think she was invited because the rest of the friendship group was invited so would have felt a bit mean excluding one person. She’s my best friend, but I really don’t think that should mean I’m responsible for her flakiness.

Fair enough, as long as the others know this I think you’re good to make the suggestion.

“Because of you both” no because of her? I have nothing to do with her dropping out?

I think it’s all booked but needs to be paid by the end of the month

I definitely agree drop out should still pay, but this won’t happen due to outing financial reasons which is still unfair and has caused a bit of a riff but also as a best friend trying to be supportive about their situation because the financial issues weren’t expected and aren’t their fault.

Do not pay £80! That's outrageous.the moh is being selfish to suggest this.
The drop out should definitely pay ,you say she wont,so it's down to the whole group not just three of you.
Don't back down.