Feeling left out because I don't have a girl

[elive]

I have two lovely sons, DS1 is 5 and DS2 is 3. I have 5 very close friends, every single one of them has a DD who is about 4 (all in the same school year everything), this wasn't planned obviously, 3 of them are born within 4 months of one and other, the others a little later. Most of them have other kids too, one has a 2 year old boy, another a 6 year old boy, so I can bond with them over that.
Right now all their girls are due to start their first year of proper school, they are all bonding over that, buying their cute uniforms etc. Last year my son started and I didn't really have anyone to share it with.
The girls all do ballet together on a Saturday morning, the school they do ballet at has a cafe so they all sit and have a cuppa together, neither of my boys want to do ballet, even if they did it is done on school years, so I'd be there at a different time.
When they were babies, it was much much less noticeable my son and the 5 girls were born within 18 months of each other, the baby stage and even toddlers was great.
Now the group chat is all buying the right ballet clothes, sharing cute outfit ideas etc. I just have nothing to contribute.

AIBU feeling left out? I don't really have other friends.

We have, but DH arranged it all, he does the school run more than me as he works from home.

Consider something like beavers or cubs, or another local activity and volunteer to help. My Ds did karate from age 6 and loved it. The other parents were nice and it is good for DC to make friends out of school.

What about this summer. Have his friends over, forge friendships beyond this group

DS1 does football but DH takes him, I take DS2 to gymnastics, maybe I just need to talk to the other parents more.

Exactly this x 1000 000%

It all sounds very cringe to me being honest.
I don't really enjoy the whole 'mum talk' though. If rather talk adult stuff.

I can understand you feeling a bit left out, but if all they talk about is girl stuff and nothing else, they're probably not great company anyway.
Once they start school it'll probably all calm down a bit.

I will also add that mums of kids that age tend to be very competitive, even if they don't claim/intend to be. You're probably better off, and as someone said earlier, wait until they start falling out !!

Once they all actually start at their different schools this will change as they take on other commitments. Plus the girls will probably grow apart anyway, so don't worry. I have a good friend I met when my DS and her DD were two. The boy/girl divide kicked in a few years later so we stopped meeting with the kids and met in the evenings instead. We're still friends over a decade later.

I've got a group of mum friends and I think we did gravitate together because we all have two boys - now teenagers but we've known each other since little school. I'd suggest maybe finding some boy mum mates? I'm not sure I'd have much to contribute on ballet chat!

With any luck at least one of these girls will turn into a bit less ‘girly’ and be more into getting muddy, rugby tots, girls football than ballet, hair ribbons and other sickeningly pink stuff 🤣 give it time.
I think little boys are awesome OP. So sorry you’re feeling like this.

Do you have girls and boys? Because girls most definitely are the most dramatic creatures.

Boys do, of course, fall out with their friends but they tend to blow over whereas girls drag it out forever ages.

I have a girl and I would personally be bored senseless talking about cute outfits and ballet. As a parent I don't bond with my friends by discussing our children's activities. In fact many of my friends don't even have children.
Don't your friends talk about other stuff too? If they want to focus their conversations on their children then there's plenty of stuff that's common to boys and girls - starting school, friendship dilemmas, funny stories about things they've said and done. But as I said, when I'm talking to other adults, whether they're parents or not, I can find plenty of things to talk about that aren't related to my kids. When I do talk to other mum's of girls about our children we don't only talk about girly stuff!

I think I’d find this group of friends very dull tbh. I have girls and would find it really boring to be talking about ‘cute dress ideas’ and leotards all the time with my friends. We sometimes talk about out dc, but also talk about other things, hobbies, pets, jobs, holidays, celebs, tv/films, food, gin, all kinds of —crap— things.

It's probably more noticeable now because they are all starting school at the same time and its a big step. I'm sure once the kids go to new schools and meet new friends they may well quit ballet to join another group that the other kids from school do. I'm sure most people will agree that when kids who only have their parents as friends in common grow apart as they get older and play dates dry up. They would rather spend time with their own friends. And parents would rather meet up without the kids.

If your son is a similar age, I could see him being pretty popular with the girls as he gets older (presuming you stay friends) so you might be glad you didn’t have to see girls competing against one another. Plus as someone said it’s likely one or two of the girls will drop out of ballet at some point.

I mean this kindly OP but it doesn’t sound like you’re putting yourself in any situations to widen your friendship group. You’re not going to develop friendships with other parents if you never spend time with them!

Good grief, get a grip. Sorry because I mean that nicely, but honestly, get a grip.

They sound pretty boring.

But until it turned into Ballet Moms, their life experiences hadn't differed. They all live in London, all had families around the same age. The only reason it's weird now is cos they've gone all cliquey.

I have friends from high school and Uni, now in early 40s, I don't think it's that odd to keep your uni friends

I don't beliebt it sorry (the friendship issues). Unless your daughter is very young. I have a teen girl and although she has a very wide circle of friends, I've never seen a girl get through school years without some form of friendship dramas.

believe it*

Op pick the one you're closest to talk to her. Tell her it feels like it's become Dance Moms clique and you're no longer feel like you fit in.

The children won’t want to meet up once they are all at different schools - they’ll be off to birthday parties with their own friends.

I think the whole friendship group will dissolve.

It sounds more like its the age gap (although only a year they're all starting school together which is a huge milestone) and that they're going to be going to the same school rather than the fact they are girls? How are the in person meet ups? I find a lot of chat on WhatsApp bloody boring but I usually scroll through periodically- if friends want to chat we do so on the phone more often than not or in person. It does also help to meet people at the same school/clubs even if you don't become mates as such, can you just browse the chats and be friends with them in real life as it were?

Do you have a junior parkrun near you? parkrun is really friendly and you will make new friends there.

Saturday morning football is no good if it clashes with the main parkrun on a Saturday but it's 5k anyway which can be a long way for little legs. But the Sunday morning 2k is great.

My best friends are still those I made at university by the way. One has no kids, one has two kids (boy and girl) and then I have one other friend who I made on the work commute who has two kids (boy and girl). I have one (a boy).

Also - I am a girl but I didn't do dance lessons! I had zero interest! I did do gymnastics for a year or so.