Having a baby with not the greatest looking guy.

[Purplependant222]

My sister is my best friend, she is usually the nicest person in the world and I know this comment came out without her thinking. At the weekend I was talking with my sister and I said I was wondering what our baby (i’m pregnant with my first) will look like. She said without hesitation ‘hopefully the baby will look like you as you didn’t pick the best looking family to have a baby with’. Something along those lines with her trying to back peddle that she thinks my DH gets better looking every time she sees him as his personality shines through. There was also a comment on how all of his family are all a bit ‘unfortunate looking’.

It is true, I fell madly in love with DH’s personality and I wanted a future with him as his values/morals aligned with mine. I’m madly in love with him and couldn’t wait to have his babies.

However now I’m feeling like I’ve somewhat failed my future kids that they’re going to have an upward battle with being ‘unfortunate looking’. I’m not sure why I can’t shake it off as I know DH will be a brilliant and devoted father as he is as a husband, and I know that’s more important than my kids being 6ft tall or voted prom queen.

Your sister is such a dick.
is she jealous ?

I'm no oil painting. My kids are beautiful. Your baby will always be beautiful no matter what. Fuck society's beauty standards

Oh man. So much this.

My kids don't look like models. Neither do I. Most people don't.

’hopefully the baby will look like you as you didn’t pick the best looking family to have a baby with’.

“Hopefully the baby will have his manners and sensitivity as it doesn’t seem to be in large supply in our family…..” is surely the only reply? That was horrible of her. Presumably her DH looks like Brad Pitt?

You would have failed your kids by going with a handsome guy over his personality. Your husband sounds like he will be a good dad.

This!

Everything everyone else said, but I also find that sometimes the most attractive couples have really normal/average looking kids. It doesn't matter, but it's just a point that there are no guarantees.

She shouldn't have said anything. It was unnecessary and unkind.

However, it's true. A dear relative had a child with a guy who looks.... dreadful, I'm sorry to say.
They have a lovely happy and healthy child, however they are the spitting image of their dad.

I had an ugly boyfriend in my teens and my mum always laughs that I'm lucky I didn't get pregnant. People do think these things unfortunately.

OP I feel your pain. My DH has an underbite - can be fairly pronounced at times but I dont notice it normally. When I told me DM we we getting married she asked if I was worried about our children inheriting it.
The comment still sticks with me though I am sure she has long forgotten she made it.
She is very superficial, is always commenting on looks. It is so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. She thinks the world of my DH now but it stung that that was her first thought and not about how lucky her daughter was to be marrying such a fantastic man.

Hi @Purplependant222 congratulations on your pregnancy hun xx
Some of the most stunning celebrities have not so good looking kids. I wouldn't worry at all. During your pregnancy, eat healthy, look after yourself, stay happy, your child will be beautiful xx

Some thoughts you need to keep in your head! Also you don’t know how the genes will mix up.

Your sister is as rude af and you need to tell her so. Don't buy into the rubbish she is saying. She definitely owes you an apology.

Your sister is being shallow and horrible. Your kids will be beautiful.

Also, I bet your DH is actually really attractive too. There is more to beauty than being classically good-looking anyway. If I think of the male celebrities (or even fictional characters!) that I find attractive, a lot of them are not traditionally handsome.

As I tell my child with a visible disability anyone who looks good is just 1 accident away from losing it all. Looks don’t matter and there’s a million things which affect it (including fashion, young’uns are spraying on fake freckles when my contemporaries were bleaching them off!) a happy face is always better looking than a judgey scornful one.

id be asking your sister if you’d be better have kids with a handsome man from a handsome family who treated you like crap ?

Genes are funny things. Two good looking people can produce offspring that are not conventionally good looking and vice Verda.

This chap has had a lot of stick about how he looks but is a loving husband and father - what more could a woman want?

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6168747/amp/Winner-Punching-Weight-competition-33-wins-1m.html

I’m nearly 70 years old now. I wonder how my late husband and I produced such talented, beautiful / handsome offspring who have gone on to produce stunning grandchildren in looks and personalities.
Honestly….just enjoy the rest your pregnancy and don’t think about this for a minute longer. When your child is born the love that you will feel for him or her will be overwhelming.
Your sister doesn’t sound like she is the “nicest person in the world”, rather she sounds like she is secretly jealous of your partnership with your husband and your happiness. Please don’t let her spoil this happy time!

Well.genetics are a funny thing but once you have your baby you will.think they are beautiful
Both my boys are the most gorgeous human beings in the world to.me at least
My sister has a friend both her and her dh,are to.put it politely " interesting " looking their daughter however is a lovely looking young women .

She shouldn’t have said it although people do think these things.

I had a long relationship with someone who was very odd looking which sounds mean but I wasn’t bothered as he was intelligent and popular. It didn’t work out but if we had had children people would have commented as they already did.

I wouldn't worry - there's a long precedent for attractive women choosing men on the basis of their ability to support offspring rather than their prettiness. We haven't died out as a species, or got uglier over the years because it tends to balance out.

Dh has some quite strong features that look great on a tall masculine man - thankfully neither Dd has inherited these and I can’t pretend I’m not slightly relieved…

I’ve seen beautiful looking kids with interesting looking parents and very good looking parents with interesting looking kids. Other people grow into or out of their looks with age. DHs niece was, to be frank, a very odd looking kid, who came form two average looking parents, but she grew into her features and is now a very attractive young woman. You never know what the genetic soup will throw up.

your sister should keep her thoughts to herself though.

Would she be happier if you had chosen a good-looking man who was a terrible husband and father? If your DH is going to be a good, supportive parent that's going to make far more difference to a child than whether they inherit some of his looks.

It's interesting really, I think 'beauty' is quite random in the population. Unlike other valued attributes which are strongly genetic/inherited. 'Beauty' seems quite random.. maybe nature's way of shuffling the gene pool?

I was once in the vet’s reception area and a family arrived. The parents were both not classically good looking; their daughter -who was definitely there’s as she looked a bit like both of them - was the most beautiful looking child I’ve ever seen in real life.