Having a baby with not the greatest looking guy.

[Purplependant222]

My sister is my best friend, she is usually the nicest person in the world and I know this comment came out without her thinking. At the weekend I was talking with my sister and I said I was wondering what our baby (i’m pregnant with my first) will look like. She said without hesitation ‘hopefully the baby will look like you as you didn’t pick the best looking family to have a baby with’. Something along those lines with her trying to back peddle that she thinks my DH gets better looking every time she sees him as his personality shines through. There was also a comment on how all of his family are all a bit ‘unfortunate looking’.

It is true, I fell madly in love with DH’s personality and I wanted a future with him as his values/morals aligned with mine. I’m madly in love with him and couldn’t wait to have his babies.

However now I’m feeling like I’ve somewhat failed my future kids that they’re going to have an upward battle with being ‘unfortunate looking’. I’m not sure why I can’t shake it off as I know DH will be a brilliant and devoted father as he is as a husband, and I know that’s more important than my kids being 6ft tall or voted prom queen.

Me and DH are stunners, our kid is very ordinary looking and absoultely fantastic - kind, clever, funny and hugely successful.

I am sure he is lovely looking, particularly when he is smiling at you - your sister just has an eyesight problem, Your baby is going to be beautiful

OP said it herself - the comment came out without thinking. I think it's disingenuous to vilify the sister when most people will have this thought at least once in their lives. It's human nature. Yes, sister shouldn't have said it, but the fact that sister and OP have such a close relationship means that these inner thoughts will come out naturally. There is less of a filter with those we love.

OP, nobody is perfect, you will not raise the perfect child to become the perfect adult. They obviously have a flying start though having a sensitive and caring mother.

Aww OP, you must have been really upset. What a thing for your sister to say. Your baby will be absolutely beautiful I am sure.

Agree with other posters having good looking parents is not a guarantee that kids will be good looking too. It’s about how your genes mix. My dh is not conventionally handsome but he’s really attractive in a strong / protective / rugged way. I knew almost instantly that he was who I wanted to have babies with. My kids are gorgeous (but all mums think that about their kids anyway!)

I think he’s He’s good looking.

Bloody awful thing to say AND to be thinking. 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

“However, life can be much easier for conventionally good looking people than for those who are not considered attractive. For that reason, most people if given the choice would sooner their children had good looks than didn't”

It can also lead to crippling shyness, unwanted comments (mostly from men) and difficulty making friendships.

Perfectly said.

Well you wouldn't think Nigel Lawson would produce a daughter like Nigella would you

People who have never been bullied for their looks or differences can not understand what a privilege being average to good looking is. Numerous studies show good looking people have more advantages. To pretend otherwise is stupid. From work to education being ugly is harder for most people. But there is a wide range from ugly to beautiful.

Ew, she was 16 and he was 21 when they started dating? What a heartwarming story of child grooming.

I mean if he attracted you and you are from a family of great beauties, then your children will likely be fine. Beauty tends to be fleeting, values endure. If you love him and he loves you and your children grow up around THAT as their daily experience you really can’t set them up any better. Congratulations on your beautiful family.

He's an average looking guy married to a woman who, while pretty with naturally symmetrical features, also clearly takes a number of steps to elevate her looks, while he obviously doesn't. The discrepancy in their looks is clearly marketable and they're playing it up.

I spent years lamenting my long face until I realised I’d inherited it from my Dad (it works better on him!). I absolutely adore my Dad, so knowing my duff features came from him made them much more bearable.

It's not nice of me but I've noticed children of celebrities (so almost always with two conventionally attractive parents) are often not conventionally attractive, or nowhere near as attractive as their parents. Then conversely you can look up the parents of famous beauties and they're nothing special.

Genes are funny things. As is what's considered conventionally attractive.

Your child could inherit good or weaker features from both of you. They will look like themselves and hopefully one day someone will love them for who they are, not their jawline and perfect nose.

Exactly this! The vast majority of the population are just normal looking and that's okay.

OP my first DH was gorgeous looking but turned out to be a poor father. Second DH not so good looking but so much more thoughtful and nicer. I made sure I didn't make the same mistake again. Sounds like you hit the jackpot first time if he will be a good Dad and share parenting.

My husband was physically gorgeous. Nasty piece of work left me to bring up two children without a penny, left the UK.
Luckily my kids, now grown have his looks, much better looking than me, but have been brought up with kindness and decency. They got the best from each of us.
However, I am much prouder of their characters than looks.
Small gc has got the looks and is showing every sign of being kind, much more important

I don’t really know why it’s bothering you so much. It sounds like you thought he was ugly too which seems much worse than your dusted saying it. And you know kids get their genes from their parents. It didn’t bother you before so why would your sister saying it make any difference? You should have chosen an attractive partner by the sounds of things, but it’s a bit late now. 🤷🏻‍♀️

*sister

That’s because these ‘stunning’ slebs have plastic surgery to look that way. The average looking kids are a product of their average looking parents. You cannot lie about genetics 😆

My friend and her husband are beautiful people yet their daughter got a bit of an odd mix of their features and wouldn't be considered conventionally pretty.

By contrast i know lots of very ordinary looking folk with gorgeous kids.

Looks really aren't everything either, attractiveness is a very personal thing and hugely subjective.

Yes indeed some attractive women see it as a disadvantage. However, often they're failing to acknowledge that shyness, difficulty making friends and harassment from men are not ring fenced to good looking women. In fact conventionally unattractive women will often suffer from these things to a far greater degree. I dont care what the 'right thinking' on this is. In the real world, very few women would choose to be unattractive.