Having a baby with not the greatest looking guy.

[Purplependant222]

My sister is my best friend, she is usually the nicest person in the world and I know this comment came out without her thinking. At the weekend I was talking with my sister and I said I was wondering what our baby (i’m pregnant with my first) will look like. She said without hesitation ‘hopefully the baby will look like you as you didn’t pick the best looking family to have a baby with’. Something along those lines with her trying to back peddle that she thinks my DH gets better looking every time she sees him as his personality shines through. There was also a comment on how all of his family are all a bit ‘unfortunate looking’.

It is true, I fell madly in love with DH’s personality and I wanted a future with him as his values/morals aligned with mine. I’m madly in love with him and couldn’t wait to have his babies.

However now I’m feeling like I’ve somewhat failed my future kids that they’re going to have an upward battle with being ‘unfortunate looking’. I’m not sure why I can’t shake it off as I know DH will be a brilliant and devoted father as he is as a husband, and I know that’s more important than my kids being 6ft tall or voted prom queen.

It’s bone structure which counts & endures - think how photogenic Kate Moss is/was…

Beautiful kids can grow into average adults.

Interesting that so many of comments unconsciously enforce that looks matter. As already said we’re one step from a random catastrophe that changes it all. I can assure you, having a live, healthy child trumps all other concerns. What does matter is how we parent. Judgy scornful looks are shockingly rude, as are looks of disgust. Commenting on looks at all is rude. If you have a good partner you’re lucky! You are BLESSED op!

I always find it weird how looks are so lauded. Why should lucky DNA be so important? It's how people behave and treat others that counts.

Yet it clearly does.

Beauty's only skin deep and your husband sounds like a catch! Your baby will be gorgeous. Your sister sounds serious ugly - what an awful thing to say, whatever her intentions and despite her obvious back-tracking!

Fuck society - I hate that everyone is so damn fickle! It's way more important what's on the inside.

Good luck with the birth and enjoy your beautiful kind and well-adjusted family. Maybe keep your sister and her opinions at arms length!

You admit yiurself that hes no oil painting OP, seems your sister thought she could laugh about it with you as you say you're best friends.
Friends tell each other the truth, tease each other and laugh about the not so funny but funny situations.
Depends on the relationship really as it's something I could laugh about with my best friend, one sister but not the other.
If you know she didn't mean it maliciously, try and move on from it.

My (deceased) first husband was absolutely no oil painting. I married him for his personality and intelligence. However, all his children (two by me, two by his first wife) are very good looking (no thanks to me, I'm acceptable but not outstanding!) So I don't think it's a simple calculation at all.

Additionally, having watched nieces and nephews grow up, features change a lot. Some angelic looking small boys have turned into Incredible Hulks; some very plain little girls have become beauties.

And, last but not least, in old pictures from primary school, no 2 husband was a truly weird looking kid, almost to the point of parody - huge nose, great big sticky out ears, lop sided grin... His ears were pinned back (standard operation), he grew into the rest of his features, and I think he's really quite handsome now, sixty years on!