Things on MNs that are confusing?

[ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees]

Just curious if anyone else wonders about these things:

1. DP/DH with super outing hobby - what are these hobbies, naked trampoline tennis?

2. DP/DH with super stressful job - what is it? Is it a known stressful job or is DP/DP just describing it as that? Anyone ever consider DH is incompetent or has been over promoted?

3. The notion of a "posh wank" - it doesn't exist, it's a lie told by men caught cheating. Do people really believe it's a real thing?

2 - It's not "job", it's "corporate role". Only people who work for companies experience work-related stress, apparently. One should also casually mention the six-figure salary when expressing consternation at how other people manage to afford things. Terrible I know, we can only afford Verbier this year...

People who say “I’ve got 2/3/4 degrees” as evidence of intelligence. If they’ve got 3/4 different undergrads that was probably just a massive waste of time and doesn’t make them more intelligent than someone with one. If they mean BA/MA/ doctorate why don’t they just say “I’ve got a PhD” which is what people say in real life- just mention the highest qualification.

1. Invariably either golf or cycling. Which between them are practiced by about half the men in the UK. IT would be fun if the "super outing" hobby was trapeze artistry but it never is.
2. "Super stressful job" is usually a professional brown-noser in sales who believes going to the pub after work for a couple is his birthright and wants to come home to a hot dinner and his shirts washed.
3. I have never even heard the term "posh wank" but probably an attractive 20 something in accounts.

Leave the bastards. Ever singe one of 'em.

Don't forget the whole cooked chicken that can feed a family of 9 every day for a month!

In answer to yours

1. it’s never outing. Just like the ‘can say the job as it’s outing’ isn’t outing at all
2. It’s often the dp/dh who keep saying it’s stressful most of the time. Along with zero flexibility.
3. Agree. They don’t exist

I am always confused by the ‘How are other people affording luxuries’. The answer is always going to be that they earn more, have less outgoings or getting in debt. Or a mix of 2 or more of these things.

I thought a posh wank would be while wearing a velvet glove, but apparently it’s a condom. Probably not even ribbed.

D before any person / animal. I understand the DH, DS, etc.

But then you see DDog, DNiece, DNephew, DFriend, etc

And agree about the hobby being outing thing. As though every hobby is so unique and everyone will know right away.

@Wheretostartstitching

I am always confused by the ‘How are other people affording luxuries’. The answer is always going to be that they earn more, have less outgoings or getting in debt. Or a mix of 2 or more of these things.

I know those threads are maddening.

OP: "Why do people have more money than me?"
Posters: "Er, they either earn more money or they've inherited money or they have fewer outgoings."

What's not to understand?

There is lots to wonder about MN.

The husband with super stressful job and his poster wife who has no life experience of her own so has to quote what her husband said, did, thought.

Aforementioned chicken that can feed a family of 25 for 75 years straight.

The evil mother in law who has the audacity to want to spend time OP’s children. And the woman is so vile that she may even want to feed OP’s children without first getting documented permission through the courts, or better still the United Nations.

I find the whole sequence of life events on mumsnet weird. So you have to get to a professional level in your career, buy a house and pay off so much of the equity that you can go part time after maternity leave, marry a man who does 50% around the house, equal number of drop off and pick ups but also earns enough to fully support you going part time. But even going part time he must do 50% of everything. If he doesn't then you must LTB and be a single mum but you can't claim benefits or take a career break. Then if you moan that you're struggling you can be sure that someone will be along to tell you that you should have chosen a better person to have children with. Basically, don't ever be a single mum but never settle for less than perfection in a relationship.
Oh and when you are a single mum you must never date again. Ever.

The notion of a "posh wank"

What is that?? I've never heard of that

I’m very new to MN, and these are things I find confusing
1). OP posts something, everyone tells them YABU, then a bit more come out, still they YABU, then a bit more info - and do it goes on, until to OP gets the answer they were after initially
2) “Is this a reverse”. - wtf is a reverse?
3) The “D” everything, DDog, DFIL, DPostman

Not confusing, but it really irks me for some reason when people say they exclusively breast feed. Why can't you just say you breast feed??

"Why are you here if you don't have children?"

I'm here because I love discussing cats, recipes and TV programmes. Also ridiculous behaviour of human beings which amuses me no end ☺️

Because breastfeeding could mean mix of breast and formula, and exclusively breastfeeding is only breastmilk. It can make a difference, depending on the context of the conversation.

I’ve never known a man do 50% of housework/childcare. Good for you if you’ve found one.

The stream of consciousness no sentences no paragraphs tales where everyone’s name has been replaced by a letter so A said to B about C that she had been told by D that E was going to see F but A was annoyed and B was like no way and AIBU?

When people say things only happen on mumsnet and not in real life. For example, people not answering the front door. People eating more than 1000 calories and still losing weight, people who late NC with family or give yo friendships due to being treated badly etc. Makes me wonder who they think posts on mumsnet if not real people or are we all bots?

"Posh wank" is a suggested reply when someone posts about finding a box of condoms when they don't use them as a couple.

There are posters who reply suggestions he's using them to masterbate into so as not to make a mess!!! It blows my mind that some people actually think it's a possible explanation.

A reverse is where someone posts as if they are someone else in the scenario. Eg they are having a disagreement with a friend, but post as if they are the friend. They are generally obvious because the initial post comes across as so unreasonable and the other person seems very reasonable that it can only have been written by someone either massively unaware, or by someone who has flipped it round.

Eg "Am I being unreasonable to think that my sister should babysit whenever I need her to. She doesn't have a life and therefore should drop everything when I call"
The poster is actually the sister who is being pressured into doing lots of babysitting.

I’m intrigued why everyone votes labour on here and no one voted for Brexit.

D before any person / animal. I understand the DH, DS, etc.

DP is particularly confusing - when you can't tell is they mean partner or parent(s). Sometimes also DS, where you have to wait for a pronoun or other obvious context to be able to work out if they mean son or sister.

The answer to every question always seems to be ASD/Autism.

*DH accidentally left the gas on and burnt the house down. He probably has ASD

*should I spend my lotto winnings on a new car? i think you've got autism. Sounds like you r very focused on the car and socially awkward and find it easier to focus on the car than being around people...

*My daughter is nervous about her first day of primary school. You should get her assessed for ASD.

Etc.....

Yes, I forgot loads, the obsessions with calories and cleanliness, why are you here if you are not a mum is probably asked at least once a week and ASD or ADHD features in every thread.

When someone asks a question like

How much do you get paid?
or
Do you rent or own?
or
What's your job/highest level of education etc

And replies immediately mention their husband/partner's job/salary/housing status.