To immediately remove my child from childminder

[Ohriley]

My child has been going to a childminder for 2 years - with 2 days a week at a preschool and the remainder with her. I don't like her at all, she's becoming more and more unhinged in how she deals with me - however I've kept them with her because they enjoy their time there and have nothing negative to say.

This week, my child has told me that they're sometimes left alone in the car while the childminder goes to the shop. They're not one for making up stories.

They start school in September so only 6 weeks to go and I can scrabble together alternative care until then.

Would you upset your child's routine for your own sanity / the safety issue or would you stick it out for a further 6 weeks?

Childminder here!
It's not illegal..however the EYFS states that children must be within site and sound at all times. I take the children into the shop with me and never get petrol when they're in my care because its not safe to leave them in the car and its not safe to walk them across the forecourt; my local petrol station can be like the pits at F1. You could remove your child immediately, stating what your child has said. However, if she denies it,what do you do? It's your child's word against hers, so you will probably have to bite the bullet and give 4 weeks, remove immediately but have to pay the 4 weeks.

Not all of them do....please don't tar us all with the same brush!
I've worked in a nursery and some of the things they did were extremely questionable and a lot worse than leaving a child in a car for a couple of minutes!

Good luck with OFSTED. My childminders child - aged 2 like my child - BIT my child repeatedly. My child had bite marks all over their body and I took him out of her care immediately. She played it down - and wouldn’t give me an injury report. OFSTED didn’t give a damn. She even tried to sue me for 8 weeks notice. How you’ll get out of this if it’s a contract who knows but I would take my child out of there based on your instincts alone.

I think deep down you already know the answer ors just difficult to make when your child has been somewhere for a long period of their life.
My little one has attended a nursery since she was 9 mths she's now 3 and a half and we have the same issue.
The setting was great when she was a baby couldn't fault them the care was excellent and what the staff taught her,I will forever be grateful and sing their praises but then when she was 2 and a half she us moved up and the care goes down hill.
We have made the very difficult decision to move to a different setting .
It's hard because you feel your child has some affinity especially after going for so long.
It's definitely a tough decision to make even when you know it's right.

My little boy is 8 now but looking back I wish I’d removed him from his nursery. They were also ‘unhinged’ and not especially up on safe guarding. He was attached to one of the ladies there but this didn’t go down well with the others I had bitchy comments about it, I’d often pick him up to find him pissed wet through and just left. They made a big fuss about him having heat rash below the back of his neck and about me not putting his coat on to walk 5 yards to the car before he’s then strapped into his seat, I had a surprise social worker visit one day I’m convinced it was them, no one who knows me would have felt the need to report me to SS ffs! One day 2 tiny little boys escaped and were walking down a main road they were taken back by a random woman walking past. I was panicked by this and went for a visit and was convinced to still let him attend, this is why it happened it’ll never happen again, a certain member of staff has been sacked. I took my son to have a look at it a few months ago when passing, ‘can you remember your nursery’ sort of thing, it was closed down, I googled it and it had happened again! Anyway you’re right things look worse written down, and your child minder on paper, is bonkers, so yeah I’d stop using her immediately.

You’re wrong. It isn't illegal to leave a child in a car alone. It IS an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk, but the law doesn’t state what that risk is. It’s left up to a parent to make that decision.
I don't know about where you live, but round here every petrol station has pay at the pump facilities.

Remove them emediatly even if only 6 weeks to go its unsafe it's summer anything can happen and tell her why you are not using her again .

Leaving the kids in car unsupervised anywhere is a No No!

It's actually sight OR hearing rather than sight AND hearing - so for example you can use a baby monitor for sleeping children, keep an ear out if you're in the kitchen or bathroom.

The EYFS is being updated now though to say supervision must be sight AND hearing when children are eating.

I'd remove him on safety grounds and say since you leave child unattended in car, I will not be paying notice period.

I can't believe you ever left your child with someone you don't like! Trust yourself as a judge of character.

God don't pay the notice period. Write to her and tell her you are removing your child as she left the children in the car while she went to the shop and this is totally unacceptable and has left you looking for suitable childcare because of it.

Your examples are a bit odd behaviour wise but unhinged is extreme. The only thing that would concern me was being left alone - if he's nearly school age missing the toilet isn't right, also dropping early, not on, as for whispering, fair enough it is a bit rude

I had a childminder, who I'd known for many years, who also went a bit odd in her last few months before ultimately retiring (earlier than originally planned). I think a lot of stressors in her life came together at once, and her inability to cope crept out in weird ways, including becoming quite unpleasant to some other children in her care (I think not mine, or at least the incidents they felt worth casually sharing with me all related to a couple of other children) and becoming quite cavalier with road safety when walking with the (small!) children.

Tricky to know what I'd do in your position, OP. It is only a few weeks, and a caregiver your child is comfortable with and attached to is no small thing. I can't say with conviction that I'd definitely move DC at this time, although you're certainly justified in doing so if that's your instinct.

I would absolutely be sourcing alternative provision at this point. Six weeks might not seem much from your perspective, but for your child it's an eternity.
Go with your gut.

Worst case scenario: you'd never forgive yourself.
Best case scenario: your child escapes unharmed when they could have had a more positive experience elsewhere.
Which wrong decision could you more easily live with?

I would not leave my child in the car when I went to the corner shop.

I would love to see the huge gap in salary between the childminder and OP.

What’s the relevance?

Whether its true or not. I'd remove my child.

@Beth123456789 hmmm giving up my salary would mean me and my child being homeless and unable to eat or be clothed. I, and I'm sure many other women, am disgusted that you think it's OK to tell other women they are not entitled to a career and should stay home and raise children.

You make it sound like popping in for a load of bread would be ok? They shouldn’t be leaving the children at all for any reason

@Yamatoosogani what's that got to do with anything? I chose my career and the childminder chose hers, neither is better than the other and my concern is not how much she earns but the fact that she's likely done something I feel is unsafe, plus is becoming increasingly difficult to work with, and has what I consider to be unrealistic expectations of 4 year olds.

@notsurewherenotsurewhy that's what I'm suspecting- that she might be becoming increasingly dissatisfied in the job and her children being almost grown up now etc are manifesting in being persistently nitpicky with what are very small children and difficult to communicate with. Its not like she gently asks if we could work together on improving aim to not leave any drips in the bathroom for example - its snarky texts telling me other children don't do it and that her loo is starting to smell because of him etc.

My main concern was that it could be unsettling for him to remove him from her care when he is used to her - but I had a talk to him today and his response was that he would not miss her but he will miss his little friend and please could we visit him at his house one day. He's excited that he'll spend the summer with a mix of me, his granny, and a nanny that he knows well and has agreed to cover a couple of weeks for us.

No, no they don’t!!!