To immediately remove my child from childminder

[Ohriley]

My child has been going to a childminder for 2 years - with 2 days a week at a preschool and the remainder with her. I don't like her at all, she's becoming more and more unhinged in how she deals with me - however I've kept them with her because they enjoy their time there and have nothing negative to say.

This week, my child has told me that they're sometimes left alone in the car while the childminder goes to the shop. They're not one for making up stories.

They start school in September so only 6 weeks to go and I can scrabble together alternative care until then.

Would you upset your child's routine for your own sanity / the safety issue or would you stick it out for a further 6 weeks?

I would remove and in fact did remove my child from the childminders after discovering the child left in a situation I wasn't happy with them being left in.

What people do with their own children is not really relevant, she is being paid to look after the dc so they need to be with her, not sitting in a car.

Although my inclination would also be to withdraw, are you sure that you have childcare sorted from school next year? Has after school club confirmed he has a place? Do you have a good plan for holidays? At school age I would be a little less concerned about being left for a few mins than if he was 2 or 3, depending on the child, so although not ideal, make sure you have clear plans before you burn bridges.

Er, no, not exactly.

Op should have raised the issues with the childminder at the time if she had a problem.
In fact, Ofsted will also question why she didn’t - and the convenient timing won’t escape their notice, either!

Never liked her and thinks she’s unhinged, yet kept sending her child?

Where do people get this nonsense from? Are you not able to Google search?

Of course you can pay for your petrol when your child is in the car - as long as you’re not putting them at risk.

I thought this. It may not be illegal for a parent to leave a child in these circumstances but registered childminders are not allowed to leave someone else’s child alone. They’re not even allowed to permit an assistant to supervise a child for more than two hours unless they have input themselves.

Remove them, you need to have peace of mind when you leave your children with someone, and it sounds like you can manage the logistics.

Sounds like a childminder I used. Sometimes I’d get a message 10 minutes before drop off to say she was unwell so couldn’t take my child. I got called at work to ask me to come home as she was unwell& heading to hospital. Rushed home, collected my child and then seen her in the sunbed shop less than half an hour later.

Alarm bells should have rung when she provided her old bank details for payment, I made the payment and she then refused to take my child as she hadn’t been paid as she no longer had access to that account…. 🙃

Eventually I took my child out with immediate effect with no notice period paid. Quite simply because when I was working from home she refused to take my child as I was in the house but also demanded full pay for those weeks, that went on for months and she never had any availability. She apparently had the correct hours for me however she would demand I work hours to suit her when I was in office and couldn’t understand that I was unable to flex on my hours!

There was a lot more things which were all reported but she was crackers! In fact several parents pulled their children out with immediate effect, one told me that she’d called her at work advising that her one year old wouldn’t settle and was an absolute pita and she hated the days she had him 🤯

Mother’s instinct - remove him x

@Tanith why can't you understand the fact that multiple odd behaviors have added up over a long period of time until its become untenable and the issues seem to be coming more frequent?

I did complain to her about the way she managed toilet training, and the way she stored lunches. The situation improved and then became worse, escalating this week until I can no longer bear it.

And why would I care that ofsted will notice the timing of me handing in my notice? I'm not answerable to ofsted in any way at all. I'm fulfilling my contractual obligations so what's the issue?

It’s actually not illegal to leave a child in car, there is no age limit either in the U.K to leave a child on their own (the government are very hazy on this)

According to the UK government website, there is no written law against leaving your child unsupervised in a car.
There is also no legal age required when it comes to leaving your child alone, however, it is an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk, reports the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC).
The charity says children under 12 are “rarely mature enough” to be left alone for a long period of time, while children under 16 should not be left alone overnight.

so very hazy from UK government on the actual laws

^This^. We have instincts for a reason.

How do they go to the toilet?
That's ridiculous.

Ex childminder here. Leaving a minded child in a car while she goes to a shop is a serious safeguarding issue. You need to contact Ofsted and your local safeguarding team to report this.

I would remove my child immediately.

@Tanith have you actually ready all of OPs posts on her thread? Are you a childminder by any chance?
yes small things can go on through time but it’s takes something to make you think about all the little things that add up and usually that one thing too many, that make you want to remove your child from someone’s care whom you pay for..
never once has OP said she would not pay from the remaining contract but feels it isn’t working possible kids at risk..
you see to have a bit of a bee in yer bonnet at OP for no reason as you seem to have pulled ur opinions from you bottom….

As a childminder of 10 years I have never left a child in a car to go to the shop or anywhere and I don’t know of anyone who would, childminders are professionals. But like any form of childcare, be it nursery or childminder you occasionally get one that should not be open. You could ask the childminder if it’s true?

So I’ve been there. I discussed it with the childminder who denied it. I knew she was lying as my daughter - she was 8 at the time - had called me from her watch hysterical when she thought she’d been locked in the car. Once I knew she was lying about this I did a little digging & a number of other very concerning things came to light. My other daughter has specific medical needs, needing close supervision. She was left in the car on this occasion & on as it turned out a number of other times. If she had suffered a medical event during this time it could have been catastrophic. The childminder also lied that she had taken up free medical training offered in case of an emergency situation. I reported her to the care commission who upheld some of my concerns but not all of them, I find it very hard seeing her with other children in her care as she continues without penalty. I couldn’t not have reported it though.

To be fair to @YukoandHiro Im guessing they do nt live in England, noine here would think that. A specific law with am age for petrol forecouts 😁hardly

I think you probably need to ask her directly rather than rely on a child's account, as you say its not always accurate. The things you describe as her being unhinged, I don't really get. Anal, yes, particular, but not unhinged. Perhaps re the clock thing she has had a history of parents try to take the pics by dropping off early etc. She will have rules for her house, just like everyone does.

I think you should confront the childminder and ask for her side of the story. It seems to me like you are just believing a child . However saying that if you think she’s unhinged why have you left the children there anyway ??

The child minder wanted my son to walk to her house by himself when he moved from Infants to Juniors (the schools were right next to each other but juniors came out 10 minutes later so she'd have to wait.) I would have let him walk had it been my house and I'd be there - he didn't have cross any roads - but you aren't just paying for care but also for peace of mind so you can focus on work. If you're not getting that, she's not doing the job you're paying her for and you're better off with somebody else.

All this bickering back and forth over whether it's illegal or not to leave your child in the car and go in the shop is irrelevant. She is an Ofsted registered childminder with legal guidelines to follow. One of which is child should be in your sight and / or hearing at all times.

I've worked in early years for a long while. In nurseries and as a childminder and as they're both staffed by humans quality varies. There are good and bad childminders, and good and bad nurseries. This cm does not sound great. (Understatement).

The clock is passive aggressive but perhaps a last resort if she's mentioned you being early several times (and you're likely not the only one doing it).

Hand in your notice OP (yep you will still owe four weeks notice but like you say, never mind your kid is more important) and make do for childcare until September. Sounds like it will be a big relief to say goodbye!

Ours once dropped the kids at the school gate (which was still locked at the time) and then bu*red off to get the train. Straight gone. You were bang on. Anything that affects the safeguarding of your child is a solid ‘thank you and goodbye’

There is no written law about leaving your child in the car in the UK so don’t know where your info has come from.

The moment I saw “AIBU for removing my child from a childminder?” my mind was made up. If you are questioning anything about their behaviour- reasonable to others or not, it’s a massive no. We all have different standards of what is ok but if you are asking that question trust your gut.

Childminders do stuff like this all the time.