To immediately remove my child from childminder

[Ohriley]

My child has been going to a childminder for 2 years - with 2 days a week at a preschool and the remainder with her. I don't like her at all, she's becoming more and more unhinged in how she deals with me - however I've kept them with her because they enjoy their time there and have nothing negative to say.

This week, my child has told me that they're sometimes left alone in the car while the childminder goes to the shop. They're not one for making up stories.

They start school in September so only 6 weeks to go and I can scrabble together alternative care until then.

Would you upset your child's routine for your own sanity / the safety issue or would you stick it out for a further 6 weeks?

If you're paying for a day a week that you never use and can make alternative arrangements, it makes no sense to carry on paying.

Your personal views matter when it's about your child!

Nonsense! It isn't illegal at all. You just use common sense.

OP is clearly uncomfortable with a number of aspects of the childminder's behaviour here though, some of which does sound rather ott. Therefore she should withdraw her child.

Which law says that? There isn't even a specific law that says it's illegal to leave a child alone at home. https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

OP if she's being a pain just cobble together care for six weeks and remove them. The relationship with a childminder can be a bit fraught at the best of times, so there's no need to prolong it if you can manage.

If the relationship between the parent and childminder has broken down then either another adult takes over (if the children are really happy there) or you remove them.

Is there anyone else who can drop off/pick up, as you say the children seem content there.

Registered childminders aren't allowed to leave children unsupervised, and that includes leaving them in a car. You should report this to the regulator, but the trouble will be if there isn't proof of it. If Ofsted ask did she do it and she says no, and there isn't any evidence other than the word of a 4 year old, they probably won't be able to take action against her. Mind you if she is "unhinged" she might well admit it, thinking it's fine.

I know of a case where a childminder had left several children and her dog in a car while she went into a shop, and when asked about it she said okay if that's not allowed then I won't leave the dog in there with them next time. Kind of missing the point!

Trust your instinct op. I would remove the kids. Had something years ago he didnt like the minder. Think she just wanted the money. I got a vibe off her we were right.

I wouldn’t be sending my child back.

One, for him saying he’d be left in the car and two, you’ve got a feeling about her and the way she’s interacted with you.

You need to trust your instincts and keep your child safe.

Oh, and I would report her to Ofstead. She should never be leaving a child unattended.

Honestly just remove them.
I knew a childminder who would strap the kids in buggies all day in from the tv, eat the crisps out of their lunchboxes and lie to their parents about what she’d fed them for dinner (amongst other things) . The kids were not well cared for an it showed.

Please don't post that something is illegal when it isn't.

@YukoandHiro

illegal???

are you in England? U.K.? Elsewhere?

if you're in England would you please link to the law.

Don't take a risk OP get them out.

If you give notice, why would she keep the deposit?

I’d take them out. But don’t think you’re making a point, she’ll be delighted. There’s not enough time to give notice if you pull them out immediately. So you should pay her for the next month at least. If she’s pissed off when you’re 2 mins early, she’ll be relieved she has one less child and still getting paid.

Because normally you give a couple of weeks or months notice dependent on contract
sounds like this parent will take the child out immediately and not give notice so won’t get deposit etc back

It’s not illegal! Where have you got that idea from?

At a corner shop, popping in for milk/bread/whatever, I'd be fine with her leaving him in the car.

You don't know, it was maybe a one off when she was in a real hurry to get home for a mindee arriving. Otherwise surely DS would have mentioned it before.

She's a bit PA, but it's just worth an eye roll, not a major strop off.

If he's happy there, I wouldn't be removing him immediately. He's about to start school, it's a big enough transition without suddenly not seeing the woman who has looked after him a few days a week for as long as he can remember.

I presume she knows he's starting school etc, but have you given her notice? Were you planning on her picking him up after school?

No matter you don't like her, DS deserves to have a gentle transition with preparation he won't see her after xyz.

@rubyslippers yes, I'm well aware how it works, but 'giving notice' implies you'll be following the contract -paying for the notice period. No reason for a deposit to be withheld. Different if you're 'pulling them out NOW' & not giving notice.

Some childminders are great, and some nursery workers are terrible.

I’d remove and report.

I would also refuse to pay the notice period. Negligence should negate notice. Let her sue you if she thinks she can argue that you didn’t pull for cause.

The only correct part of this is ‘if they are at risk’. There is no specific law about a particular age at which a child’s can be left.

True. This a common misconception.

I personally wouldn’t focus on this legal or not legal train of thought. Not many people think it’s a good idea. On the Govt website they post their guidelines of choice making it clear what is considered a good approach.

Trust your instincts and take him out. This is probably only the tip of the iceberg. I had to remove my kids from two different childminders and my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.

#1 forbade my kids from doing after-school activities because she was "too tired" to get them;

• once took them to shop for a prom dress for her daughter (husband was in the car too), gave them chicken nuggets in tinfoil to eat in the car as they went direct from school, with nothing to drink and bringing them back so late they missed their swimming lesson. I was waiting for them, panicking and not knowing where they were!

• promised to take them to the beach one day in the holidays, and when they went there, suncreamed up, costumes on, and excited, she couldn't be bothered to take and instead sent them out to play under the sprinkler in her garden;

• shut a little boy (not mine) in the garden and didn't let him indoors so he wet himself.

Blood is boiling even now just typing those and it's years ago - I didn't know all of it until later.

#2 had a child the same age as my youngest, and her child was a devious article and always got my child into trouble. My DC is 20 and even now comes out with things that had happened.

Was a total fantasist.

Shagged my neighbour who she met through us, had his baby, and broke up neighbours' marriage.

Then I found an amazing lady whom I already knew and she was an earth angel with my child.

Trust me, if you feel that something is 'off' - it is!

Funnily enough I found a bit of stuff I’d kept from the UK nursery DC went to in 2008. There was this awful nursery worker who used to turn positives into negatives. I’d kept a particular note because I found it inexplicable that she found ‘gets all his classmates to join in with finding the letters of their names and spelling them out’ a problem. Her co worker was encouraging this and the kids liked it. Just plain weird she didn’t.