To immediately remove my child from childminder

[Ohriley]

My child has been going to a childminder for 2 years - with 2 days a week at a preschool and the remainder with her. I don't like her at all, she's becoming more and more unhinged in how she deals with me - however I've kept them with her because they enjoy their time there and have nothing negative to say.

This week, my child has told me that they're sometimes left alone in the car while the childminder goes to the shop. They're not one for making up stories.

They start school in September so only 6 weeks to go and I can scrabble together alternative care until then.

Would you upset your child's routine for your own sanity / the safety issue or would you stick it out for a further 6 weeks?

OP move in as soon as poss. Presume you have some hols planned anyway, so step away from her. I wouldn’t bother reporting her, it’s wrong but difficult to prove

Whether it’s legal or not, a reputable Childminder wouldn’t risk leaving a child in a car unattended. The clock thing maybe isn’t specifically for you, but CM may have other parents who collect their child late, which is annoying, even a couple of minutes, I presume CM charges extra when this happens and has evidence to show.

you dont need a reason just move them

She sounds vile.

I might leave my child for a few minutes to nip into the shop (for say milk and bread) especially if they were well heaved and in a car seat. If they had eg ADHD or were anxious etc I might not. The bit that caught my eye was you saying she is unhinged. Your examples don't seem especially odd but if I thought my minder was unhinged I'd have removed my children long ago. For the sake of a few weeks I'd be inclined to leave them there but perhaps mention that you don't find it acceptable for them to be left alone even for a few moments. Ultimately though if you're uncomfortable, pull your kids out. The fact ghat you've posted this makes me think you've already decided to do this and wanted reinforcement. Is their dad (your family) in disagreement?

I wouldn't remove for the car issue as I have no problem with that and only ever on mn have I heard of anyone caring about it. However, I would remove as you clearly don't trust her and I couldn't knowingly leave my young child in the care of someone I didn't trust.

Saying you think she's unhinged makes the situation sound almost volatile. I wouldn't be comfortable.

For reference I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone leave a child in a car to pop in the corner shop. I’ve seen people do it on the nursery pick up or school to avid being late. I can’t think of anywhere other than Mumsnet that it wouldn’t be frowned upon.

Have you ever made a complaint to your childminder about any of this?

I'm astounded that you would continue sending your child to someone you dislike so much and who you describe as unhinged, and not do anything about it until your child is almost ready to leave her care.

Your post has the ring of someone who wants to drop the childminder now that she's no longer needed, and is looking for ways to avoid paying her notice.

Of course you’re not unreasonable to remove him for any reason whenever you like. I’d say it may be tricky to get out of paying the notice period without proof but you haven’t mentioned doing that. It’s not acceptable for a childminder to leave a child alone at any point and I wouldn’t expect them to be routinely filling up or shopping on the time that you’re paying for

Totally agree with you OP but one point, could you be uninsured before your proper start time? That's what our nursery says true or not

If she feels comfortable sharing her odd opinions about how a child whispering is naughty, she has far weirder and dodgy opinions that she keeps to herself. Remover your DC as soon as you can. Do not ignore your gut instinct.

Link ??

If a child's own parent isn't prepared to stand up for them and keep them safe, then who will?

Absolutely stop using the minder, ffs.

It is annoying when people arrive early. Yes it's only 2 minutes to you, but the problem is that without a strict cut off (ie your start time), people take the piss. You might be 2 minutes and the following day someone is 5 minutes.early. Oh now they know you dont mind, they might arrive 10 minutes early etc etc. You dont expect nurseries, schools, shops or doctors to open early... I wouldn't stick a clock on my door but I have no problem in asking people to wait until their start time.

The woman sounds a bit cuckoo! I’d leave and try and get him childcare elsewhere.

Have you thought about a cool older school/ uni student to look after them during the day at your own house?

It’s not illegal to leave a child in a car….but parents risk prosecution if the child is put into a risky situation or one which causes danger/neglect

Take the clock off the door and throw it as far away as you can.

When she gets angry, calmly tell her you just wanted to see time fly.

The shop thing might not bother me if a quick 'pop in to pay for petrol' type thing, the rest is huge red flags. Get your kid out of there.

Remove and report. I don't think any child of that age should be left alone in a car for any amount of time. Report to council and OFSTED.

A cm is not meant to leave children unattended /out of her sight

So she is wrong to do this to your son

The clock thing a little weird but if keep being early why not say to you something

@Tanith no, I'm not trying to get out of anything. I'll pay the full notice, and have to also pay for another person to take care of him plus use unpaid leave. Financially I'll be out of pocket by about £3000, but it's more important to me that my son is safe and with someone I trust.

Initially things were fine, and then over time he behaviour has changed, becoming more and more difficult over time. Each slightly odd thing I put down to a difference in style and opinion, but over time they are adding up.

And no, I haven't complained, as the last time she thought I was complaining (I wasn't) she started to cry in front of the children. And if it's bad enough to complain, I don't want my child with her.

I wouldn't bother giving any notice either. Id just lose any deposit I gave her, but I certainly wouldnt give her any more money. She wont sue.

Another one for remove. I removed mine with no notice when they were two and I witnessed the dad (it was a mother/father team) loudly shout at my son for pushing the face of the childminding team’s daughter out of his - because she was putting her face in his and he was two and didn’t like it so he pushed her face away. I didn’t say anything at the time but emailed that night to say I wasn’t comfortable with how he’d dealt with it and whilst pushing is wrong and needs to be explained to the two year old, I wasn’t delighted he’d shouted at him. Got a massive email in response saying it was because my two year old was an awful child (they’d never mentioned anything to me about him before) so I withdrew him. I had a couple of nightmarish weeks juggling various different friends/family having them/taking them to work with me but I’d rather that than worry my child wasn’t safe and happy. Good luck - childcare is such a minefield. There’s some absolutely amazing childminders out there who deserve millions, then there’s some awful ones who shouldn’t be allowed to care for children.

Wait? Do people really leave their children in the car to quickly buy a loaf of bread... Surely not.

For safety's sake please remove the children from her care immediately. It appears that the childminder may have problems that you know nothing about and may need help. Please report the matter to OFSTED fully itemising the incidents and your concerns. Her behaviour is obviously not normal, despite your misgivings it is better safe than sorry, especially for the children in her care.