To immediately remove my child from childminder

[Ohriley]

My child has been going to a childminder for 2 years - with 2 days a week at a preschool and the remainder with her. I don't like her at all, she's becoming more and more unhinged in how she deals with me - however I've kept them with her because they enjoy their time there and have nothing negative to say.

This week, my child has told me that they're sometimes left alone in the car while the childminder goes to the shop. They're not one for making up stories.

They start school in September so only 6 weeks to go and I can scrabble together alternative care until then.

Would you upset your child's routine for your own sanity / the safety issue or would you stick it out for a further 6 weeks?

You're obviously not happy with her and that's pretty darn important. I think it's not going to get better so probably best if you find other child care.

When you do training for childminding you sign an agreement that you will not leave the children in your care unattended, and one of the specific examples it gives is going in to a petrol station or shop and leaving the children in the car alone. It doesn’t matter how big or small an individual deems the risk to be, it is a risk and not one for a childminder to determine if it’s worth taking. That decision is for parents/guardians of that child to make, when the child is in their care. The childminder should not leave those in their care alone to nip in a shop or pay for petrol at any time. It’s just a big no-no. I would definitely remove them from the CM and I would ring the local council and query with them where you stand with regards to notice given you’re now unsure of their ability to keep your children safe. If that CM is doing this with your children, they’ll be doing this and more with others.

Well if she is “unhinged” then I’d remove them yeah

But I won’t get worked up about them leaving kids in the car for 1/2 minutes (if that’s what it is). Def safer than having toddlers along a main road or in a petrol forecourt.

Yes.

I think I would do the same op leaving in the car is bad enough but making negative comments to your children about you being early and her clock shows how unprofessional she is

I’ve seen this a couple of times, once in a supermarket car park and once in the street near a corner shop. To be honest the child in the car park looked to be about 8/9 so hardly dangerous and window was open and child with an ice cream/lolly. The other child about 7 or so. Similar ages in cars on petrol station foregrounds (by pumps). This doesn’t bother me. I’ve also seen a young child brought into petrol station shop drive it’s mum mad by running around trying to grab crisps, sweets and the mum just buying something for a quiet life.

When I was young we didn’t have car seats and I’m sure when we were older (DB and me) in the car we let the handbrake off but luckily it was on a flat road. I think my DM saw the car rolling past but we luckily managed to get it to stop or she ran out. Then on she didn’t leave us in the car alone or we had a stern talking to so we didn’t do it again.

This would be my view .

Isn't this more of a case that a childminder has an obligation to never leave a child in their care unsupervised, as opposed to a debate about whether or not it's ok to leave your own child in the car?

Well, MN thinks it’s ok but most people I know would not think so. It’s bad enough when people leave their pets in cars. With kids, unless ever car door has a child lock it is not safe or sensible

That childminder would be in big trouble if this was reported. Probably would lose her certification. She absolutely should not be doing this.

Good god why would u leave your child with someone who you deem unhinged??

The EYFS, which is the ‘rule book’ which childminders must follow, states that children should be within sight and hearing at all times.

She is in breach of the EYFS.

Do with that information what you will but YWNBU to report to OFSTED and remove with immediate effect.

It’s not allowed if you’re a childminder.

It's your timing, Op. It's suspicious. Unfortunately, you've chosen the end of term, when your child will be moving on to school in September. The time when some parents do try this on with their childcare provider, along with wide-eyed claims that of course they have every intention of paying the notice period.

If you dislike her, then just give her notice.
If you can't pay her, then tell her and come to an arrangement.
If you have a complaint, then raise it with her first and give her chance to deal with it. Ofsted will want to know why you didn't do this if you report her.

Hold on a tick .... this is your child - your child whom you want to be brought up well.

You need a minder who shares your values and whom you can trust. I would not leave my child one more minute with this person.

It's stories like this that make me not trust childminders. As others have pointed out, it's a breach of the EYFS and demonstrates exceptionally poor judgement. No way would I be sending my child back there, or paying her notice for that matter. Report to ofsted or other relevant body depending on your location.

Remove OP.

If she acts like that in front of you, my confidence with her being alone with my kids would be zero.

She’s paid to mind your child not go shopping leaving the kids in the car. I’d remove my child right away and wouldn’t be paying any notice. I’d also be reporting her as unsafe to look after children.

You want OP to give the childminder a chance to deal with it ? The childminder sounds mentally unwell. The safety of OP's child comes first, not the childminder.

Forget the car thing.

You don't like her.

You hate the arrangement.

You have convinced yourself to go along with it because you say the children have nothing negative to say?

So what? You are the parent. Follow your instincts and parent.

I'm sorry but why would anyone pay to leave their children with someone they don't like, don't trust and don't get along with?

remove immediately.

I would not even leave my dog in the car alone, never mind my children! ever

The car thing for me needs more detail.

I zoom up to village store, park outside, leave four strapped in and get milk. I can see them. Village people come and chat to them, doors open, I can hear them.

Bit different to a huge town store but I don't know

Erm, you are are massively BU for leaving your child with someone you describe as ‘unhinged’ 😳 are there no decent nurseries in your area?

@Pebblesontheside I'm afraid not, none that I could get to as I don't drive, or they were full - it's mostly preschool here which is term time only until 3pm only. He does go to one for part of the time, but that's more for socialisation and learning rather than covering my work hours.

No way would I leave somebody else’s child alone in my car at that age & I’m not a child minder, good grief thats awful. Remove child from their care