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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

People are announcing my baby’s birth

207 replies

Gotthekeeys · 19/07/2023 22:56

Would this annoy you?

I had a difficult birth and we told our parents they baby was here safely. Before I was even compos mentis MIL had announced it on the wider family WhatsApp group that I am in and included it ended in a c section.

AIBU to be very pissed off?

OP posts:

stayathomer · 19/07/2023 22:57

I think people just get excited and don’t think. Congratulations on the birth, well done and hope you and the baby get some much needed rest x

Themisthefacts · 19/07/2023 23:00

That wouldn’t bother me at all. But if you asked her not too I would be upset . Congratulations on your new baby

WandaWonder · 19/07/2023 23:02

I would rather that than not be interested we told our parents and let them tell whoever

Tiredjoanna · 19/07/2023 23:02

Yanbu, it is your news to share when you think time's right

Totaly · 19/07/2023 23:03

I think the disappointment is not seeing others reactions. MIL has taken this away from you. It’s not OK.

Tiredjoanna · 19/07/2023 23:03

Congratulations btw😊

TooBusyGazingAtStarss · 19/07/2023 23:03

Tbh Id see it more of saving me a job when you're going to be so busy..
but, not gonna lie, I am lazy like that 🤣

Bothers me more when photos of just after birth, that I think are quite personal, are shared, looking rough as fuck afterwards as well

Kaiserchief · 19/07/2023 23:03

I would not like it - I don’t share other people’s news and I wouldn’t expect them to share mine.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 19/07/2023 23:04

That the baby was here, probably not too much but bringing up the csection would have really annoyed me (but I have baggage).

EsmeSusanOgg · 19/07/2023 23:04

Yes. It is common knowledge it isn't an ok thing to do, but lots of people here will give be faic excuses for this behaviour because x/y/z was 'excited'.

Get your partner to reply in group and say, 'Baby is here, but we're not sharing this publically/ not for social media at the moment. @Gotthekeeys baby and I are getting some rest and will be happy to let you know when we have announced it more widely. For the moment we just need a little bit of time to recover. Speak to you all soon.'

EsmeSusanOgg · 19/07/2023 23:06

Though, as you mentioned it happened to be your MIL who blabbed - expect to be roasted jver the coals in this thread for no good reason.

BreadInCaptivity · 19/07/2023 23:13

I honestly don't get this hang up if I'm honest.

When DS was born DH and I spoke to both (now grandparents).

Didn't give a hoot beyond that - rather expected them to send the news through the family grapevine.

Was far too busy at the time with newborn.

Why this interest in other peoples reactions?

Enjoy your time with your baby.

Waffle19 · 19/07/2023 23:14

YANBU. I could definitely see my MIL & FIL doing something like this so specifically asked them not to share the news any further when we sent them the first pic of DS2. It was 3am and I’d just had an EMCS and really didn’t want them to steal our thunder, just wanted to recover and enjoy baby before telling wider family, so I do really understand and sympathise with you.

TheIsleOfTheLost · 19/07/2023 23:18

I was annoyed when someone put it on my facebook feed, as I didn't want there to be a public record for the child's privacy. Don't give a monkeys about relatives telling each other or their friends. She has become a grandma too. Unless you specifically called out beforehand that you would rather tell the family whatsapp, I think you are being a bit unreasonable. Congratulations on the birth of your child.

Wrongsideofpennines · 19/07/2023 23:25

YANBU. This would piss me off too. Its not their news to share. Both about the baby and about the birth which is your own personal medical details.

I ended up having an emergency c section with my 2nd pregnancy after a hugely traumatic first pregnancy. I was devastated and sharing details around the birth was super sensitive for me for a long time.

Congratulations on your new arrival BTW.

purpleboy · 20/07/2023 00:02

BreadInCaptivity · 19/07/2023 23:13

I honestly don't get this hang up if I'm honest.

When DS was born DH and I spoke to both (now grandparents).

Didn't give a hoot beyond that - rather expected them to send the news through the family grapevine.

Was far too busy at the time with newborn.

Why this interest in other peoples reactions?

Enjoy your time with your baby.

This...

How do you even have the time to be offended over this?

LawnmowerBlues · 20/07/2023 00:17

BreadInCaptivity · 19/07/2023 23:13

I honestly don't get this hang up if I'm honest.

When DS was born DH and I spoke to both (now grandparents).

Didn't give a hoot beyond that - rather expected them to send the news through the family grapevine.

Was far too busy at the time with newborn.

Why this interest in other peoples reactions?

Enjoy your time with your baby.

Yeah, this. And thinking about other births in the family, I'm pretty sure I've always heard of them via the new grandparents too. Otherwise you are either waiting for the exhausted new parents to take time out of their precious day to text everyone they know, or nobody finds out about the new baby in the family for days or weeks! I really don't get the issue - and it's their news too, they have a new grandchild.

Agree on the sharing of photos though - that's not cool without permission, especially candid shots of the tired mum!

Clymene · 20/07/2023 00:22

YABU. It's a family WhatsApp. Surely she was doing you a favour and saving you a job.

Good luck with the recovery and congratulations on your baby

pregnancyrollercoaster · 20/07/2023 00:24

First off congrats OP and delighted your bundle has arrived safely earthside ❤️

I would be extremely disappointed / pissed off if someone announced / shared the news of arrival before we had the opportunity to tell those we want to tell and there was absolutely no need to share the method of arrival either.

Try and enjoy the newborn bubble and don't be rushing to have visitors or go visiting 💖

saraclara · 20/07/2023 00:25

If you want to announce the birth to the rest of the family yourself, then you need to make that clear to the grandparents..

Alba82 · 20/07/2023 00:26

SIL did this to us, all over Facebook including pics hubby had sent her privately. Our other kids & none of the grandparents were yet to see pics let alone meet baby. I was raging, I'd just had a c-section too & i really didn't need the world & his dog telling about it all.

You are definitely not being unreasonable

LawnmowerBlues · 20/07/2023 00:30

Yeah actually agree that telling everyone "it ended in a c section" is nobody's business.

GodspeedJune · 20/07/2023 00:35

Yanbu. It is your news to share first, not theirs. The C-section detail is personal medical info that you may or may not have ever shared with them.

BorderlineCool · 20/07/2023 00:48

My mother in law announced my baby's birth on fb. She had literally just been born, I hadn't even told my siblings yet. I can't even tell you how angry I was!

I feel like it is definitely our news to share. I didn't go through a long, painful labour for someone else to announce the news. Sod that!! I feel you.

Original poster

Gotthekeeys · 20/07/2023 00:53

i felt the c section information was unnecessary

OP posts:

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