People are announcing my baby’s birth

[Gotthekeeys]

Would this annoy you?

I had a difficult birth and we told our parents they baby was here safely. Before I was even compos mentis MIL had announced it on the wider family WhatsApp group that I am in and included it ended in a c section.

AIBU to be very pissed off?

Also, I don’t believe you weren’t driving for 6 weeks.

I had the same happen. My father announced it and told everyone I'd had a c section. I had complications and was really not well, the section was an emergency and my blood pressure wouldn't stabilise I was in and out of it and I was getting congratulations text's beeping when I wasn't even out of recovery.

REALLY pissed me off because a couple months earlier he's text to say my SIL had given birth and I'd replied saying it's their business to share and he Bette not do that to me it will piss me off.

Some grandparents get soo excited and can't help themselves but that doesn't make it ok

Surely people wanted to know that you and the baby were safe? I would be very happy that someone told my family that if I wasn't able to

A lot of people would be offended if the news was not shared!

I guess they didn't have to mention the c-section, as it's irrelevant to the news of the baby's birth, but actually might be a good thing that everyone knows, so they're aware that you're going to take a bit longer to recover from the birth and won't be up to entertaining visitors for a while.

Your MIL has probably had LOADS of people asking her how you are and if the baby is here yet. She's likely old school and feels she needs to respond (as well as being thrilled that you're ok and the baby has arrived) to all the questions being asked her.
Don't make a big deal of it is my advice.
Can you imagine what all your friends and family would say if they'd been asking her and she hadn't responded or she'd replied she wasn't able to say. Can you imagine everyones worry? You'd probably have found it rude if she didn't show any interest or tell anyone.
You're going to have much bigger issues than this in the future- choose your battles wisely x

Well, clearly not😂So do you think it would have been normal for my MIL to text the family WhatsApp group to tell them all about it? Or do you think it's quite enough for her to say "Baby X is here" and let the new mum share any birth details at her own discretion? Since it's quite personal and you might not want your brother, your uncle, the SIL you don't get on with, etc, hearing all about it from someone else?

Why?! You know nothing about my experience! Jeez Louise, should have got my MIL to text you all the gory details 😂

Once the GPS are told I couldn't get worked up about this.

I didn't mind my parents or PILs sharing the news to relatives - in fact I rather expected them to, saved me a job!

I would have been incredibly annoyed if any of them posted it on social media as I don't post anything at all about my children, or sent on photos without checking with me. I would have been beyond annoyed if they shared my private medical information!!

Because there is no other delivery that comes with a “you cannot legally drive” for 6 weeks.

She didn’t include any gory details.

I don't think there's actually a legal restriction for C-section either, is there? Isn't it more a medical guideline? Anyway, I didn't say I'd been legally forbidden to drive.

Well, what can I say 💁To me, it feels a bit overbearing to share that info about someone else, as if it should be public knowledge (unlike the fact that the baby's been born, which IMO is public knowledge). A bit like the new mum is a farmyard animal being discussed at market.

Obviously you feel differently.

It's not the kind of thing I'd get up in arms about, but I'd roll my eyes and be a little peeved. It reeks of the controlling type of MIL (or other relative) that sees it as their job to be the family switchboard, which drives me up the wall. Different strokes for different folks.

I would be upset about a baby announcement on social media, especially if it included details like 'born by c section' A family WhatsApp group is very different.

I could be wrong but I suspect you might be upset that you needed a c section op, maybe the birth/labour experience was traumatic and you need some time to process what happened. I think your in laws telling a few family members that it was a c section is forgivable though, as it really might not have occurred to them that you wouldn't want this shared.

If you don't want family members sharing pictures of your baby online, make that clear now!

All the best and congratulations on your baby x

@JenWillsiam There’s no legal restrictions on C Sections either, in fact with most insurance companies it’s up to you but they recommend you “please follow your midwife or doctor’s guidelines”.

OP given you were actually IN the group chat, I’d be annoyed as well that MIL couldn’t simply wait for you or your DH to let people know yourself, in your own time, and including whatever information we felt we wanted to share.

We told our parents and a few close friends, I assume my DM told her sisters and my brothers and granted I wasn’t bothered but if I was active in a chat with them then yeah I’d expect her not to ‘announce’ it & wait for one of us to do it instead.

Er yes there is. You are advised by a doctor after having a c section you must not drive for 6 weeks, it’s in the nice guidelines. It’s standard. And it means you are not legally permitted to drive.

There is. You are told you must not drive until you have had your 6 week check. That advice means you are not medically fit to drive and must not drive.

It depends on your insurer. Mine said I could drive when my doctor approved, which was when I could do an emergency stop.

NICE guidelines say a woman can resume driving when she feels she is fully recovered.

https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng192/resources/caesarean-birth-pdf-66142078788805

I mean, it’s not like anyone who knew you were pregnant and knew when you were due would be at all surprised by this news. Yes, youre being silly.

Er no there’s not. For a start, doctor’s recommendations aren’t necessarily legal requirements, insurances companies aren’t going to lie and say it’s fine to drive, we don’t need proof etc if legally you need to wait 6 weeks.

There’s also no standard timeframe, or any timeframe, in the NICE guidelines at all.

Legally, there are no implications or restrictions.

https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng192/chapter/recommendations

But you (or DH) didn't wait until you were lucid to tell his parents!

YANBU
This would have upset me too. Not least because DP missed DC2's birth as he was on a transatlantic flight (DC2 arrived 5 weeks early). My mum (who was with me in DP's place) did message my siblings to say that baby & I were fine but no further details were disclosed until DP had met DC2 & we updated everyone then.

Can never understand all the ridiculous hype over this. You had a baby, you had a section, all is ok, big fucking deal.

In other cultures, it would be pretty much expected for the family to be given the news, not from the parents but other family members, who would then rally round to do food shops, cooking and cleaning and visits. Before someone pipes up, yes, this is considered a nightmare on MN, no, the parents would not be expected to host, and yes, baby would get lots of cuddles from people other than it’s parents and mum would get a few minutes/hours of sleep.