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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what the rudest thing your child has said to you in a melt down?

495 replies

DrSeuss84 · 17/07/2023 19:26

Tonight my very hormonal, 12 year old, pre teen told me to “shove off” when I made a joke about her playing with Lego instead of tidying her room. Quickly followed up with “you ruin everything”. It took me back a bit to be honest. It was completely out of character. It got me wondering 2 things:

  1. is this normal teenage behaviour? Or is my child suddenly going off the rails?

  2. what’s the worst thing your child has said in a rage.

OP posts:
Freshstarts23 · 17/07/2023 21:06

Mine has asd and adhd and similarly to others, the insults are shocking. Lots of swear words, and really horrible things. Often followed by him making fun of me being upset. Glad to see it’s ‘normal’ in children with SEN. It’s hard.

Allywill · 17/07/2023 21:07

My daughter once said I looked “average” when I asked her if my outfit looked ok when I was going out. Then followed it up with “no one will be looking at you anyway” ouch.
She also once said the reason she didn’t invite her friend over to our house was because I was “always hanging around” - I did point out that I actually lived there as well! (This was peak teenage years and she is lovely now I should point out)

Beaucielblues · 17/07/2023 21:09

@Somethingsnappy That made me laugh my head off. Maybe she is psychic? So cute.

ireallycantthinkofaname · 17/07/2023 21:10

Gerrataere · 17/07/2023 20:02

I’m going to be that parent, ‘meltdown’ is really not a term to be thrown around copiously. I’m not assuming your child doesn’t have additional needs op, but as can already be seen in this thread, a teenage strop and an ASD meltdown are really quite different things.

yep, came here to say this, glad someone already has though

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 17/07/2023 21:13

Rainbowsandbutterflies1990 · 17/07/2023 21:05

I disagree meltdowns and tantrums are really different, so when my autistic daughter is having a meltdown , it's not a tantrum and it isn't her fault. So I actually think it's really harmful using them interchangeable, as society looks down on autistic children meltdowns , when actually people do need to be educated on what the difference is. The main one? They are not choosing to do it.

Show quote history

A tantrum isn't a child's fault either. They have become completely overwhelmed by emotions. A small child isn't in control when they have a tantrum.

Fam23 · 17/07/2023 21:13

StJulian2023 · 17/07/2023 20:10

That “things would be much better if you’d died instead of daddy” 😭😭😭

He really didn’t mean it and was SO sorry afterwards. Grief.

Tbh, I regularly think things would indeed be much better if it had been me. But there we are. I don’t voice it.

😢 I’m so sorry for your loss, I hope you can turn to someone for help if you’re struggling.

Newuser75 · 17/07/2023 21:13

CurlewKate · 17/07/2023 19:33

My dd said "Back off, old woman, your time has past!!"

Do I win??

I'm so sorry but this has really made me laugh!!

unlikelychump · 17/07/2023 21:16

Allywill · 17/07/2023 21:07

My daughter once said I looked “average” when I asked her if my outfit looked ok when I was going out. Then followed it up with “no one will be looking at you anyway” ouch.
She also once said the reason she didn’t invite her friend over to our house was because I was “always hanging around” - I did point out that I actually lived there as well! (This was peak teenage years and she is lovely now I should point out)

Love this!!!

Newuser75 · 17/07/2023 21:16

takealettermsjones · 17/07/2023 20:07

Toddler told me she liked her other mummy better.

There is no other mummy, no female partner, no stepmum, nothing... 🤨 Never did get to the bottom of that one!

😂. My son when he was about three asked me where his other daddy was! There is only 1 daddy. We are still married. Not sure where that came from!

Fam23 · 17/07/2023 21:17

dreamersdown · 17/07/2023 20:48

I got told today that I’m not invited to my 3 year olds birthday party - the worst punishment she could muster 😂

🤣 my four year old often threatens me with this too.

carly2803 · 17/07/2023 21:17

"that's old... like you mummy" - age 5

thanks.

HelpMeUnpickThis · 17/07/2023 21:18

StJulian2023 · 17/07/2023 20:10

That “things would be much better if you’d died instead of daddy” 😭😭😭

He really didn’t mean it and was SO sorry afterwards. Grief.

Tbh, I regularly think things would indeed be much better if it had been me. But there we are. I don’t voice it.

@StJulian2023 💐

WildUnchartedWaters · 17/07/2023 21:19

@StJulian2023 ❤

Debini · 17/07/2023 21:22

So not in anger but my son affectionately called me “fat lady” as a nickname for years 🤣 Coming back through the airport one year and the lady asked him who I was, did he say mum? Nope, it was fat lady 😂

Purple1181 · 17/07/2023 21:24

I used to get “you’re such a … genius!” from my 2 year old. It was not a compliment, and said only in anger 😂

CurlewKate · 17/07/2023 21:25

@Newuser75 "I'm so sorry but this has really made me laugh!!"

She's 25 now-I bring this up regularly. Whenever I want to guilt her into making me a cocktail!

OzziePopPop · 17/07/2023 21:26

babbscrabbs · 17/07/2023 20:31

Are you trolling us OP?

I wish "shove off" was the worst I'd heard!

Also, yeah as others have said that's not a meltdown. You have it SO EASY if that took you by suprise and that's what you consider a meltdown. Just FYI. This is why some of us are sensitive about the word meltdown.

My DS called another child a fucking idiot for hurting him the other day.

He's 7 😬

He's said a lot worse and more shocking tbh, but not necessarily rude - more distressing.

I really want to upvote this as an autist with two autistic kids!

Gerrataere · 17/07/2023 21:28

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 17/07/2023 21:13

A tantrum isn't a child's fault either. They have become completely overwhelmed by emotions. A small child isn't in control when they have a tantrum.

Show quote history

No but there is usually a resolution to a tantrum or emotional dysregulation that can be approached or simply let burn out with little longterm consequences. In a meltdown, the person having one has no ability to self regulate or find a solution to what is bringing them distress. There’s little to be done in terms of distraction and the person could hit out verbally or physically, self harm or shut down completely. There can be no warning of it happening, no obvious build up like a disagreement or a stressful day. I’ve had my son in a long meltdown simply because he heard a sound that triggered him. To anyone else that would seem ridiculous but to him it was nightmarish. Quite different from anecdotal experiences of a strop.

Icannoteven · 17/07/2023 21:30

’you ruin everything. I wish you were dead’ from my 9 yr old dd. I suspect she may be dealing with some new hormones but never-the-less, she got in BIG trouble for that.

She has form though, when she was three she once called me a ‘silly tart’. We had just returned from the in-laws so I suspect she may have been repeating someone else’s words 😂

CookiesandCream1 · 17/07/2023 21:37

debbs77 · 17/07/2023 20:12

Not words as such, but my 17 year old just moved to live with her father.

The man who walked out on us, started a new family, and has never once been there for her or her siblings.

All over some money x

Really sorry to read this. Hope you are doing ok.

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 17/07/2023 21:43

My youngest aged about 3...

"I want another mummy and another brother" with a wobbly voice through tears while on the naughty step. And "I don't know who you think you are" to my sister when she put him on the naughty step. She did well not to laugh! Can't actually remember what either of those were about...

He also used to do the massive tantrum while flatly denying he'd done something naughty that I'd watched him do right in front of me. He's a nice lad now!

Big hugs to those who have children with extra challenges 😘

funinthesun19 · 17/07/2023 21:44

Not the worst, but definitely the most funny and memorable:

”You’re a toilet!!!”- yelled by DS when he was 5 (He’s now 10). He was really annoyed at me 😂.

CurlewKate · 17/07/2023 21:49

My ds was much more subtle. At 4 he looked into my eyes and said "I love you, mummy. But I love daddy, [sister's name] and the kittens more."

Emmamoo89 · 17/07/2023 21:50

CurlewKate · 17/07/2023 19:33

My dd said "Back off, old woman, your time has past!!"

Do I win??

You definitely win 🤣🤣

nidgey · 17/07/2023 21:51

Probably not the worst, but my then 5 year old asked 'will you actually make an effort to look nice when you collect me from school today'? I asked if she wanted to be more proud of me and quick as a flash she said 'I'm already proud, but just do it for me for people who don't know you'