To ask what the rudest thing your child has said to you in a melt down?

[DrSeuss84]

Tonight my very hormonal, 12 year old, pre teen told me to “shove off” when I made a joke about her playing with Lego instead of tidying her room. Quickly followed up with “you ruin everything”. It took me back a bit to be honest. It was completely out of character. It got me wondering 2 things:

1. is this normal teenage behaviour? Or is my child suddenly going off the rails?

2. what’s the worst thing your child has said in a rage.

Nobody asked.

For the people who haven't provided context then obviously only they will know if it was a meltdown or tantrum , but to the people who have provided context , some of them are not meltdowns they tantrums and they need calling out for using word incorrectly. And that deserves to be called out. Meltdowns are commonly used in ND world as sensory overload is common in ND children, which main causes of meltdowns. Its a big part of the condition and it can be very difficult dealing with it. When tantrums and meltdowns get mixed up there is a not of unfair judgement on parents of ND children.

*lot

Not at all, because I fully agree that the other words are.
I don't for meltdown because any and all people can have one whether ND or NT.

Why are you so possessive over it? Its really bizarre.

My son has the same diagnosis and I get called all sorts. Mostly shut up constantly. So defiant and very hard to sway

Hey kettle, pot calling.

Witty, but I'm not because I'm not a ND parent.

However I do respect the pain of ND parents when people who dont need to use that word not only fling it about but spend pages and pages arguing about why they're entitled to something so meaningless to them. People have no idea.

Ugh, I daresay most parents of NT kids won't be anywhere near as familiar with actual meltdowns as parents of ND kids.

Not said, but once we were left this message by DD2 who had been told to switch off music as it was bedtime. She was primary aged.

"You're to old to remember what it's like to be my age"

She's 9 😂

Just wanted to add i dont belive any judgement on a parent in public is fair, as child development at different rates and learning to not have what you want instantly is a learned behavior, but the judgment on autistic children who are struggling with sensory overload which is part of their condition and not nessasery something they will grow out of is not helped by people just not learning the difference and using the words interchangeable , or refusing to acknowledge that there is a difference.

It's also my profession. I also object to people using phrases like he had a breakdown, i was like suicide, i was depressed etc when none of this is true.

A meltdown is so different from a tantrum you have no idea. The bloody dictionary might not mention it but NT people rarely have meltdowns.

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Language can not be controlled. Non ND children can have meltdowns. Saying this does not at all diminish the exceedingly difficult life of a parent of a ND child. Controlling words is also very far down the worry list of all the parents of ND children I know.

My almost 4 year old earlier today "you big fat witch", when I did something he didn't like. When I explained how rude that was and that it was completely unacceptable so I was confiscating the toy he was playing with he responded with "When you come through the door tomorrow I'm going to trap your fingers in it" 😬

I was speechless. I explained that was a horrible thing to say, it would really hurt to do something like that and I might need to see a doctor. No idea if he really understands what he's saying or what but... 😕

Just adding here as is important the OP mentioned the context and it wasn't a meltdown which her child had. She would stop being angry if the mum just told her she didn't need to clean her room. It was a tantrum and her title says meltdown and she should be called out.

Good for you, but many parents already feel like their spaces have been erased. I assume you're not listening to the parents on this thread.
Someone about 5 minutes ago explained what using it interchangeably does.

Perhaps you could explain what a meltdown looks like for an ND person?

Pressed send too early. And then an NT?

As I don't have kids...

My cat will actually walk up to the other cat and hiss at him for NO reason... and then just walk away.

It's not about control of language it's about using it correctly, regardless of if NT people can have a meltdown , if someone is using meltdown when infant it isn't one and it's a tantrum then that isn't using it correctly and it needs to be called out. Language matters and its damaging when used incorrectly.

"Life's not just all about you, you know!"
On the bus ride between the soft play and the very expensive ballet lessons she begged me for.
"You can't speak Gaelic because you can't make the sounds with your stupid English mouth"

Language can not be controlled. Non ND children can have meltdowns. Saying this does not at all diminish the exceedingly difficult life of a parent of a ND child. Controlling words is also very far down the worry list of all the parents of ND children I know.

Well, yes but I personally will hear someone use 'meltdown' when they mean 'a bit upset' and think 'you haven't a fucking clue lol.'

On the subject of language: My DS has genuine autistic meltdowns...
I once got called into talk to the leader of an after school club because he'd referred to them as his "mental breakdowns" 🙄

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