To ask what the rudest thing your child has said to you in a melt down?

[DrSeuss84]

Tonight my very hormonal, 12 year old, pre teen told me to “shove off” when I made a joke about her playing with Lego instead of tidying her room. Quickly followed up with “you ruin everything”. It took me back a bit to be honest. It was completely out of character. It got me wondering 2 things:

1. is this normal teenage behaviour? Or is my child suddenly going off the rails?

2. what’s the worst thing your child has said in a rage.

Us parents of ND kids will be having a wildly different experience on this thread

That was meant to be a stickman at the bottom!

Anyway, he would strop off and do this long and very angry picture, then march up to you and present you with it and wait for your suitably apologetic response.

DH and I mostly giggled, which just made him lose his temper even more.

Mine called me a shit mum once recently too 😏 he's learned a lot of charming things in reception this last year

Can you keep away from the school as everyone will think youre my nan!, 😭 She's 7!

9 year old regularly says she hates me when she's in a strop.
3 year old "you're not my best friend" 💔

Please don't think that, unless you have been shouting these words at her!! Hope assessment goes OK. If she has ASD it's still heartbreaking to hear those words but you learn to brush it off quicker.

Thank you for your post. I’ve got a constant tension headache, doctor has prescribed me antidepressants, and I just feel done. I’m not coping. But I have to carry on because I have no other choice.

Sadly shut the fuck up and you f*ing retard are regularly heard in my house. Not meltdowns just angry mutterings of 15yr old boy with ASD / ADHD. Usually followed by a mumbled apology. There is no excuse though. I have to admit using some pretty choice words myself in the past few years which I never thought I would.

You'll get plenty support on MN, seems half the parents here have children with SEN and it's a good place to vent and get help so don't hold back. Xxxx

How do you cope with some of this stuff??

If my kid told me to kill myself I would be contacting the local authority to arrange a permanent transfer of legal responsibilities.

Absolute kudos to those of you living with this.

Ahhhh I've found my people🥹 DD (9yrs ASD) tries to come at me with all the fat, annoying, idiot and God awfully huffing and every single time I make her apologise, remove her tablet and thats that. It's been a few months, but she's finally getting the picture that she can not speak to me like that. If I even see her fixing her mouth to say anything disrespectful, I turn my whole body to her and give her my full attention; she thinks twice about saying anything rude then😌

I don’t have ASD/ADHD but my mum likes to remind me of the time I screamed ‘go fuck yourself’ to her whilst I stormed up the stairs (in a mid-teenage rage, yes I was a horrible teenager).

My mum screamed back ‘well, you aren’t very bright are you as you know that would be a physical impossibility as I don’t have a penis’…….queue me and my three siblings taking one look at each other and start laughing our heads off…..resulting in my mum becoming incandescent and almost frozen with rage 😂

Im here to tell you there is hope 😂, as I’m 34 now and she’s my best friend!

Dd then 3, you're.not my best friend!

Dd6, drew me a picture and a letter to say I was the 'worse mummy in the atmosfeer'
She didn't mean it 2 minutes later, but the dedicated effort was impressive - ADHD.

3yo will throw 'youre not my best friend' or 'i dont love you' which hurts like a bitch

‘I want to make you cry like daddy used to make you cry’ from my 6 year old. Split from his abusive dad 3 years ago. Ouch.

This is quite common. I work in a primary 1 class and party invitation punishments are common even when there is no birthday on the horizon. Generally just for peers though and more often girls. Hilarious that your ds expanded this to random strangers to hit them where it hurt 😅

Reading "meltdown", I thought I'd found my tribe of parents of ND DC.

A meltdown isn't really a strop or a tantrum.

DC1, ADD + PDA, will tell me to kill myself and that I'm an 'oblivious, irrelevant, fucking cunt' when in states of high anxiety. It's a torrent, a kind of compulsive splurge and they're so sorry afterwards. They don't speak like that if they're angry or frustrated or disappointed; it belongs solely to the anxious meltdown. The primary school version was endless repetitions of "You're styoopid!" We don't swear or name-call as a family.
DC2, who has never sworn in their life, finds it really stressful. That's the bit that gets me, the impact on their sibling.

This thread highlights one of many differences in the experience of parenting neurotypical v neurodiverse kids.
For nt parents this is a mild comment to be laughed about later. For many nd parents it’s a brutal, repeated, and draining experience.

Autistic 9yo called me a “massive bag of dicks” the other day. He was struggling with learning a new skill, and seemingly that was my fault.

He has also unleashed the torrent of swearing and wishing I was dead, or he was dead. Usually comes when he’s in a heightened state just before meltdown. His meltdown involves him screaming and smashing his head off the wall (ie. not a tantrum), so frankly I’d rather have the swearing. Like a pp said, he’ll have heard the words once, then it all comes out in a stream of echolalia like a flood gate opening. We certainly don’t use some of the choice phrases he’s picked up!

I quite often get 'right, I'm not your friend anymore...we're done' from my 4yo, when I ask her to do something completely reasonable like 'please stop bouncing on, and yeeting yourself off the sofa, you'll hurt yourself' 🙄

This is a joke thread isn't it OP just to get the MN 'collectiv' feathers a bit ruffled? Coz if that wasn't your intention it's a dead cert for doing so.

FYI - no one really knows much about anything, at best some bits along the way, but dc, wherever they come from, will be 'rude' at some point - and/or inexplicable, etc.....that's what they're for.

I have a relative with an autistic son, and I am now much more aware of my use of the word meltdown, I used to throw it around, but now I have seen him have a meltdown, I'm much more conscious of using the word to describe what is most likely a tantrum or a strop from my NT child.

That happened to a friend of mine who never once put her ex down infront of dc although he critisised her all the time to dc.Didn't take long for the penny to drop. Just give it time.

Stupid woman.
Monster.
Worthless little grub.
Idiot
Wretched animal
I'll punch you in the face
Fucking stupid idiot.
Unsure which one's the worst really 😟