To ask what the rudest thing your child has said to you in a melt down?

[DrSeuss84]

Tonight my very hormonal, 12 year old, pre teen told me to “shove off” when I made a joke about her playing with Lego instead of tidying her room. Quickly followed up with “you ruin everything”. It took me back a bit to be honest. It was completely out of character. It got me wondering 2 things:

1. is this normal teenage behaviour? Or is my child suddenly going off the rails?

2. what’s the worst thing your child has said in a rage.

I was either so strict a mother that my (NT) kids were terrified of being rude to me, or such a wonderful mother that they never felt the need to be rude to me...😅😂

I dont think a single parent alive enjoys the word meltdown .

Could you explain in the case of tour nd daughter the difference between a tantrum and meltdown?

I'm not surprised people are defensive when people post things like @dreamersdown did

"You're NOT my best friend."

DD, aged 3

It really doesn't at all.
Anyone can have a meltdown, any single person whether NT or ND can have a breakdown of self control

And lots of things or structures....dictionary.com have one definition as a quickly developing breakdown or collapse, and mentions bond-market meltdown or a meltdown of a marriage.

So it can apply to lots of things and all people, there is nothing about it that implies neurodiversity.

Don't talk crap. Anyone can have one but when parents say their child has 'meltdowns' the child in question is generally ND.

My DS learned swear words in his PRU aged 8 but after one telling off we ignored and now he tells me I've broken the law when I swear!
He does tend to tell us he'll be happy when we're dead, he doesn't have a family (he has ADHD and some challenging behaviour) but it seems to be his equivalent to "you're ruining my life" as he's tried to "leave home" by packing his teddies and getting to the front door.

You're a fat fuck and I hate you

You're the one talking crap, saying that the word implies ND.

Plenty of parents who say their child has had a meltdown are talking about a NT child, and they are describing a meltdown, not a tantrum.

Nt children dont have meltdowns.

Jusr because plenty of people use the incorrect word doesnt make it right.

Its akin to people saying they had a breakdown, were dying laughing. Incorrect and wrongly used.

*Nt children dont have meltdowns.

Jusr because plenty of people use the incorrect word doesnt make it right.

Its akin to people saying they had a breakdown, were dying laughing. Incorrect and wrongly used.*

Agree, although suspect this poster can't be reasoned with and thinks the world revolves (or should revolve) around her and her kids.

5 year old to dad through gritted teeth "You... are an old lady!"

Of course they do.
There can be all sorts of reasons, prolonged stress/anxiety/past trauma etc.

Nope, It's not about reasoning or thinking the world should revolve around my kids, it's that the word has been used in the context of being unable to control emotions since the late 70s, and for some reason people on this thread are taking extreme offence to others using it and assigning all sorts of labels/motivations to them because of it.

@ModestMoon my son’s turning 4 this month and, word for word, will tell me “you are NOT my best friend!”

He’s also tried un inviting me from his birthday party - which I am organising. Hmmm.

When my daughter is having a tantrum with ice cream for example she was cry and make a particular moan (she is non verbal, so unable to verbalise she wants another ice cream) she would stop the crying or moaning if I was to give her another ice cream , and has done in past if she grabbed one without me knowing , i had to go bathroom while she was crying and she went in frezer and grabbed one and stop straight away. Once the thing that she is upset about turns to her favour she can stop the tantrum . If she was in a meltdown if she has heard a sound that's too loud for example she will cry and moan different type of moan even when we have moved away from sound or the sounds stops and it can last half hour and hour and not much can calm her down. Usually light toy or calming music helps. It's a very clear difference

A parent saying on here their child told them in anger they didn't want to be their friend isn't a meltdown. They were angry they won't getting their way. Weather that not getting your own way/tantrum is the child's 'fault' is obviously a point as they are developmentally not able to process that not getting own way is a learnt behaviour that takes time and ultimately not their 'fault' but if a child stops the anger or crying if they then get their own way, then it's a tantrum. Not a meltdown.

Ah the 70s. A great time for understanding neurodivetsity.

Speaking of which, there was many words around then that you can't use now. Do you use them regardless ?

Yeah, the point being that it was used since the 70s to describe something that can happen to all people.

There is nothing to say that it can't be used.
The word is still used by child experts, psychologists, mental health experts etc, I haven't seen a single dictionary which even references ND in the definition.

I'm not talking about this particular thread. I'm talking about in general.

I guess it doesn't matter if its only a ND thing only, people on here have been using it incorrectly, there is a difference. If a child/adult can turn the big emotional feelings off if it works in their favour (ie they could be given what they are upset at not having )and the emotions stop then it's a tantrum and if they cannot even after their wants have been met then its a meltdown.

People on this thread are talking about their lives in general whats the difference?

Yes....in relation to nd and mental health not tantrums.

A dictionary fs 🤣

A lot of people are just talking about the worst thing their kids have ever said to them in general.
And plenty who are describing what was said aren't even providing the context for what happened in the lead up!

Nope, also for NT.

Yep a dictionary, you asked would I still use words from the past that aren't used now....a dictionary is a good place to assess whether a word is still ok to be used, as plenty of others from the past are now marked as 'offensive'. Meltdown isn't.

Yes, offensive.
9
Do you argue over whether they can still be used?