To ask what the rudest thing your child has said to you in a melt down?

[DrSeuss84]

Tonight my very hormonal, 12 year old, pre teen told me to “shove off” when I made a joke about her playing with Lego instead of tidying her room. Quickly followed up with “you ruin everything”. It took me back a bit to be honest. It was completely out of character. It got me wondering 2 things:

1. is this normal teenage behaviour? Or is my child suddenly going off the rails?

2. what’s the worst thing your child has said in a rage.

My daughter (7) told me I had fat fingers tonight. It wasn’t during a tantrum though, but she is wrong! I hit the wrong song on her playlist.

DS (10) has autism and can be surprisingly eloquent when distressed.

My favourite thing he has said to me recently (when reasonable consequences were put in place after a number of warnings, leading to him getting very upset and taking it out on a chair in his room) was:

"Sometimes, I just think you don't care about my physical or mental health"

My 7 year old regularly tells me he's 'not my friend' and it's 'the worst day ever'

Pretty tame for now lol

When my son was about 3 and we were having a nice little chat as I was putting him to bed, he said ‘I do love you Mummy, you’re just so so so so (and I was waiting for him to say lovely/kind/funny/pretty, any of which would have been fine!) so so BORING!’ I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry! 😂

Not about me, but after a Telling off from his dad, my 6 year old very seriously came in and said ‘mummy can you PLEASE divorce daddy, I’m sick of him always being here’

These are awful. Kids can be vile.

I really hope the behaviour is being disciplined appropriately. It's not funny or charming and needs to be nipped in the bud.

I think that a lot of these are actually quite awful. Not funny at all.

I'm just so depressed reading all of this. It's not funny at all.

Some of these aren't even bad my friends kids are 10 and 7 and regularly tell their mum and eachother they hate her and wish eachother dead

💨😂

My 16 year old told me to 'fuck off you nonce' when I woke him for School once .. standard, normal teenage stuff ..
He's 21 now & amazing 👌

There was a girl at the school I teach at years ago that had SEN. She used to open my classroom door every morning and yell 'morning Timmy!' (She had heard another teacher call me Imy - short for Imogen- and decided my new name would be Timmy). One day she was in a really bad mood and she opened the door and yelled 'Hey Timmy, you sexy bitch!' thinking that it was an insult. I thanked her for the compliment and she responded 'I meant ... fuck off you prick!' 😂😂😂

We all have meltdowns, not just neuro diverse!! Get a grip!
and according to the Cambridge dictionary a meltdown is “an occasion when a person becomes extremely upset and is not able to dealwith a problem or situation” so there you go

It’s called ‘masking’ and it’s not a case of ‘feeling free to kick off’.

Help like this, unfortunately, is non-existent, and neurodiversity can’t simply be ‘rectified’ - as evidenced by some of the heartbreaking posts on this thread.

My 6 year old is rude and unpleasant to me every single day.

'Just because you're hurtling towards the menopause ' 😂

Do you also think that children who need wheelchairs will 'learn the hard way' to walk if they're grounded? I know some posters are talking about ordinary rudeness, but a lot of us have children who are ND, have MH difficulties and other challenges. You can't punish kids out of their additional needs.

I’m perfectly aware what the word means. I’m also aware it’s not just something that happens to ND people, an event that causes severe mental distress to any person can cause a meltdown. I’m saying that many of the examples given on this thread are not meltdowns and the word is being used in a very generalised manner to describe any type of strop or tantrum.

If we don’t have a word that specifically means ‘an event where emotions become so overwhelming that no amount of comfort or distraction can easily calm the person’s emotional and/or physical breakdown’, then how can people (especially parents of children where ND behaviour is suspected) accurately described how a behaviour is different/beyond typical emotional dysregulation? It has been evidenced several times on this thread that some still believe a meltdown is something that can be regulated or even punished out of a person if the behaviour is extreme. That’s why the distinction needs to be clear.

I once read if you haven’ t been told at least once by your teenage daughter/son that they hate you, you aren’t doing your job of parenting properly. I must have been the perfect parent. 🤣

Ooh o.k Thanks !

Being neurodiverse doesn't equate with rudeness though. Plenty of neutodivergent children and adults are not rude.

And plenty do display behaviours that NT people classify as rude because not all ND people are the same.

My elder son is very polite. My younger says awful things and is violent.

They are both autistic and I would never think that because my eldest is polite that there's no reason my youngest can't be.

It's called a spectrum for a reason.

Nor me. If my kids or grandkids spoke to me like that, at any time, there would be consequences.

No abuse, no swearing - from either side.

Its lack of respect and ill mannered.🙁