To ask what the rudest thing your child has said to you in a melt down?

[DrSeuss84]

Tonight my very hormonal, 12 year old, pre teen told me to “shove off” when I made a joke about her playing with Lego instead of tidying her room. Quickly followed up with “you ruin everything”. It took me back a bit to be honest. It was completely out of character. It got me wondering 2 things:

1. is this normal teenage behaviour? Or is my child suddenly going off the rails?

2. what’s the worst thing your child has said in a rage.

Oh wonderful, what ‘consequences’ would you advise giving our autistic children having meltdowns? I’d love to hear your wise words. I’m sure once you’ve finished telling us how there was none of all this in your day I’m sure…

Please do share how giving consequences will sort out my children's additional needs. As I said before, some of us are dealing with complex needs involving neurodiversity, mental health difficulties, trauma. These cannot be punished away. It's not a choice to allow this behaviour and if your children or grandchildren have no additional needs and are just rude, that's because you're lucky, not because you parent better.

That's reassuring, mine can be bitey too. I've had some fairly alarming looking bruises. He's getting easier to reason with as he gets older so fingers crossed.

Don't the people here describing the extreme and disturbing/hurtful behaviour of their autistic children get sick to death of the 'let's celebrate autism/autism is a superpower' trend around at the moment? This experiences here sound utterly heartbreaking and demoralising.

This week my 7yr old wailed at me through tears - you never listen to me since you got that stupid cat!! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣 we’d only had him 3 days and he certainly wasn’t the reason DC wasn’t getting to keep his iPad in bed overnight 🤣

I am well aware of that. I have two nieces with autism adhd, Tourettes etc etc...
we are talking here about normal children, otherwise it would not be an issue,
the mother,s wouldn’t have bothered to write these posts if that were the case.
it would be a post about ND

My eldest son used to reference “the other mummy” when he was tiny, turned out he needed glasses and this was his way of letting me know he was seeing double! Def freaked me out in the beginning!

I must have missed something. Was autism mentioned??????
If so that’s a very different altogether.

Talking about what kind of children now? I’m quite sure you don’t mean offends but bloody hell…

Offence even…

No. The thread evolved into a space dominated by parents of ND kids shared the harrowing things the had said to them.

It was me who raised it, that a meltdown is not the same as the behaviour described by many here about their neurotypical children. Then it descended into a whole thing about gatekeeping and god knows what else because some people really can’t accept what the difference is or that they’re ableist in their thinking (however much they’ve convinced themselves otherwise).

Normal children?
Wow.
That stings.

Thank goodness my children never spoke to me like that. I think I'd have cried.

My adopted DDs do say things like this. My DD1 (14) uses F words constantly when she’s in a temper and DD2 (11) once recently told me that she wished I’d died of Covid. (I suffer from Long Covid. I was very ill at the start and she was terrified that I was going to die. It was the start of the pandemic when the news was full of the numbers of Covid deaths.)

Yes, I do find myself in tears sometimes, it’s hard to hear the things they say sometimes, although I’m aware that their level of anger is understandable and I’d been warned to expect it during their adolescence. They’re also being assessed for autism/ADHD/FAS.

Yeah we cry all the time.

Do you really think there aren't consequences given? Oh how I'd love for you to spend even just half an hour in my shoes.

Yes. I'm autistic too and I still can't find my supposed superpower. I don't mind people celebrating autism as it does have positives, but the superpower angle pisses me off. Life is not set up for us to thrive. It's hard and also just because I'm autistic doesn't mean I know how to mitigate my son's meltdowns either. I also get triggered by them!

If only I had a superpower not to, lol.

The word ‘superpower’ pees me off no end. It’s not a superpower, it’s playing life on hard mode. No one wants that for their children, seeing them struggle in basic things that come so easy to others, it’s soul destroying.

'Meltdown' implies neurodiversity...

@Alinino124 .... normal???

No what happened is quite rightly that parents (regardless of the needs of their children)pointed out that meltdown is a specific term used for nd which should not be thrown about flippantly, and people who dont know about it struggled to digest that they were not entitled to use a word they arent aware of

Hmm not sure about this one.

I get that they are two different things. But I don't think that having a tantrum is necessarily a child's 'fault', either. I think a lot of the time being a dysregulated child who is prone to tantrums is more related to environment or upbringing than character or will.

I think parents like to use word meltdown because it doesn't have the Negative connotations that tantrum have. And like on this thread weirdly some have got quite defensive. My autistic daughter does have tantrums too. She always wants more ice cream if we buy one and , if we are near ice cream cart while eating them she will scream and shout because she wants more and isn't able to verbalise it. So tantrums still happen in Neurodiverse world.
It might not technically be child's fault for a tantrum u r right. but there is 100% a difference and to refuse to acknowledge there is a difference and it is a 'Neurodiverse ' thing is just rude and unnecessary, also shows the need for educating to get people to understand.

My then-five-year-old told me that he hoped that a dragon would kill me, and then he would leave my body out in the rain. Too much Hobbit.