To think this has moved into bullying territory?

[BurnsBurnsBurns]

On Tuesday I was accused of ruining a colleague’s pregnancy announcement. I of course apologised at the time but they wouldn’t let it go and started bringing up various times that I’ve apparently ruined other people’s “news”. I have spoken to my manager who has suggested I just get on with my work and let it all settle down but the atmosphere is now awful. Yesterday everyone was being really off with me all day and today I really can’t face going in. I’ve apologised, it wasn’t done on purpose or with malicious intent so AIbU to think if they continue with this it is actually verging on bullying now? I really don’t want to go in today :-(

Well what did you do?

This.

you say it wasn’t done with malicious intent, but if you did something wrong then people are bound to be unhappy about it.

It will blow over.
When you say being off with you exactly what were they doing?
Perhaps you are being over sensitive?
Go to work!

Well if you’ve been accused of repeatedly ruining news there’s probably some truth in it and hopefully this will be a wake up call to get some social graces.

What did you do

I think it's important to know the circumstances around this. If it keeps happening then it doesn't look good.

Impossible to know on what you’ve said.

But if there’s a pattern to what you’ve been doing, perhaps people are wary of telling you anything. Is that what you’re perceiving as ‘off’?

What are you constantly (apparently) doing while the other children are telling their story?

I was awaiting news myself and got a text confirming good news and blurted it out without thinking. This has been exaggerated to me “screaming” and “shouting” whilst she was announcing her pregnancy. I apologised immediately.

ETA ; Are you a gossip? If you have been accused of doing this multiple times (ruining announcements).

If you enjoy your job put your head down and stop gossiping as your manager has suggested.

Simple solution. Next time someone is sharing news, don't check your phone. It's very rude. So was interrupting.

Do you have form?

I don’t think so, the examples I was given were all very exaggerated

I work with someone who does what you do/did. It’s extremely irritating. Could you work on not being so self centred?
I think the only way you can prove you are genuinely sorry is by being a bit more considerate in future. I’m sure your colleagues will come round eventually.

Go to the pregnant colleague 1:1 and apologise profusely for ruining her moment (which you did), then change the subject to her. How is she feeling/etc etc. You need to build bridges. The other colleagues will get over it but just try and be a bit more socially aware in future.

It's very difficult for us to say as we weren't there and don't know you. Try and be really honest with yourself and reflect on whether they have a point. If they do, try and change your ways and if they don't then yes, perhaps it is bullying.

So what did you do? And what are the examples?

I don’t think so, the examples I was given were all very exaggerated

But not untrue. What were they?

Once, people will forgive and forget

But repeatedly??

Bunch of flowers and abject apology.
What was your good news, maybe your excitement was in some way justified?

One example was that someone was announcing they have got a new job and would be leaving. I’m extremely wasp phobic and as she was talking a wasp began flying around my face to which I stood up and tried to get away from it. This was again exaggerated to me “screaming and shouting” which again in untrue.

Another example was someone talking about where they were going on holiday and I’d apparently ruined that by talking about a bad experience I had in that country (I wasn’t the only one yet I’m the only one being pulled up for it)

all the examples were the same kind of thing, just really exaggerated

Your options are to either try and modify your behaviour or accept that it's just how you are and work on accepting the consequences.

Checking your phone during someone's announcement and then making an exhibition of yourself is rude. Surely you can step out of yourself and see how that looked to others even if your intentions weren't bad.

Our offer has been accepted on a house ☺️

Since when do adults complain at work that their colleagues ruin their news! Is this for real?

Seriously? You ruined a pregnancy announcement by announcing you bought a house?

Do you not understand social cues?

Talking about a bad experience in a place where someone is excited to go is really rude!