To think this has moved into bullying territory?

[BurnsBurnsBurns]

On Tuesday I was accused of ruining a colleague’s pregnancy announcement. I of course apologised at the time but they wouldn’t let it go and started bringing up various times that I’ve apparently ruined other people’s “news”. I have spoken to my manager who has suggested I just get on with my work and let it all settle down but the atmosphere is now awful. Yesterday everyone was being really off with me all day and today I really can’t face going in. I’ve apologised, it wasn’t done on purpose or with malicious intent so AIbU to think if they continue with this it is actually verging on bullying now? I really don’t want to go in today :-(

The trick is in knowing when and how to respond. It was not advisable to respond in a way that came across as someone who might actually justify the name. Would have been better just to say you thought that was an unkind, unnecessary comment.

I didn’t though, I thought it was a stupid comment

Which is why it keeps cropping up again and again - because this makes it easy to see why you might be disliked by colleagues and that you may well be the sort of person who makes it obvious when you are bored by other people’s conversations and who might well be inclined to lecture others on their holiday-booking mistakes.

OP you said it was the 'my husband says' part that annoyed you not the 'elevenrife' part but then here you're annoyed that's what she implied you to be. Which is it?

It sounds to me like there is just a mismatch. Part of the issue is maybe you disengage from office conversations sooner than others do. Which isn't really a fault, office conversations can be painfully boring. The problem occurs when you then mention something else, like your house, and the other people present perceive it as you trying to one-up or get in with your own news, when it sounds like the reality is you've just finished with the conversation (in this case the pregnancy announcement) so you're not trying to do anything like that at all, you've just moved on from it. If this has happened a couple of times and people now see you as someone who always jumps in with their own stuff, they are also probably now more sensitive to it as well. Rather than avoiding everyone entirely maybe just avoid talking about your own stuff. Which is a bit shit to have to do but might make things easier.

Such an odd thread, the OP has become fixated on ‘elevenrife’ instead of discussing the actual problem. Entertaining reading but just so bizarre.

OP honestly I don’t care what people think about me but you seem especially sensitive, I agree with another poster that you may be neurodivergent - nothing wiring with that btw but maybe read up on it & see?

I get your point and you are right there ... I just wanted to point out I think the point or intention was missed - but you probably know that by now. Hope the week goes better and it blows over at work

I’m just glad this bunch of duck wits don’t work for me. One’s gone and got another job, one’s pregnant and it sounds like they spend most of their time focused on this crap… oh and they’re precious about announcing it.

OP - congrats on the house. At least two of them won’t be there soon…

Calling someone a duck wit and hoping they don't work for you because they're pregnant and chatting about it with their work mates at lunch?

I'm sure they're equally grateful they don't work for you!