To not like my engagement ring and want to change it...

[heregoesnothing583959]

I know I'm going to get flamed for this and likely ripped to shreds by everyone but here goes.

My partner proposed to me on holiday, which was great and very sweet. We are both not the most socially outgoing types and he's quite uncomfortable with all the attention this news will bring so I haven't told a soul yet. I said yes, obviously.

We were in a country with a high crime rate so he had a temporary dummy ring for that and also because my actual ring hadn't arrived yet. It came yesterday and it's exactly the style I'd liked but the diamond is so tiny it's just lost on my hand.

I didn't want to be ungrateful as he really has tried here and the style of it is my dream ring, and he picked something from Tiffany all by himself. That may have a part to play as I know they mark up prices for everything. Anyway the diamond is a 0.22 carat and while it is very very sparkly it is so so small it's barely noticeable.

Do I just keep quiet about this even though I don't totally love it, or do I be honest - I'd be willing to pay for the difference to say change to a 0.5 carat diamond instead but don't want to offend him by suggesting this. I'm not after some big 2carat ring or something. I assume the platinum think band itself was pricey. I've no idea how much it cost and I know I don't need to know that, I don't know if upgrading the diamond by half a carat is going to be unreasonable either.

What would you do here? Do I just wear it regardless or should I be honest and try not to offend him while I do?

Thanks all... let the beating begin...

I had mine from Argos, only a small engagement ring. My husband was a student at the time. Spent more money then when we got married on our wedding rings which are Clogau gold. It's not a competition and the two other girls that got married/engaged the same time as me are both now divorced. I'd keep it, i think he would be upset otherwise.

I think when it comes to changing the thickness of the band and the stone for you to like the ring more - it's just easier to replace the ring with a style you like (and likely much cheaper). It's OK for you not to like how it looks on your hand. You've been together for a decade and you're unhappy with the ring he chose, not him. I doubt his ego is going to be shattered by your honestly and I'm surprised by some of the other comments suggesting he will be devastated or question wanting to marry you - like, seriously?

The OP has updated, the story has a happy ending!

Congratulations! I'm so happy you went with your gut. I think women are more attached to engagement rings than men are. As long as marriage is happy and healthy, life is too short to be unhappy with something you hope to wear everyday. If you can afford to upgrade, and even pay it yourself, whats the problem. You are both happy then. If I bought my love a car but he wanted to change the tyres I wouldn't be offended! It's hard to buy a ring for someone without their help. Also a lifetime of yourself and other people saying oh your ring is tiny or it's so dainty...its just soul crushing. Some small diamonds look out of place on larger hands...and I think that's something must men don't understand. Best of luck to you both 😊