to ask what's rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour you've known of?

[PinkStarAtNight]

Lighthearted thread, inspired by the mention of wedding politics on another thread...just interested to know if anyone out there has experienced/known of any weddings/wedding related behaviour more bizarre/rude than the one I know of. Wedding guest behaviour, bride/groom behaviour and weddings that were just bizarre in general all welcome...

So, I'll start:
Couple getting married were on a very low budget (so much so that their centrepiece wedding cake was actually just cardboard with icing and decorations over it) but they still wanted a 'nice/fancy' wedding with sit down meal and servers...so they hired a town hall for an 'afternoon tea' luncheon type thing just after the wedding, with only close friends and family invited. They then asked other, less close, friends to 'have the privilege' of serving them at this 'high tea' event, free of charge, as a favour, instead of an invite to the wedding (not even the evening party that came later).
It was actually phrased as 'would you like to have the privilege of serving us at our wedding?' and people who were asked were very much expected to see it as an honour. Apparently it's somewhat of the 'done thing' in their circle.

These friends/servers were given waiter/waitress uniforms to wear. Just another reminder- they were NOT being paid. One of the people asked to do it was a friend of mine. She actually thought she was quite close to the family, had known them years and been round for dinner and things like that, but realised they obviously didn't see her that way when instead of a proper invite to the wedding she was asked to do this.

She said that she accidentally split tea whilst pouring it out for someone at this 'luncheon' (I mean its not like she was a professional server!) and the bride's father snapped at her. Everyone at the table treated her exactly like a professional server, not making wye contact, not even thanking her, barking orders at her etc, even though she had known all of them for years and spent time at their house for gatherings...all the servers were 'thanked' a few weeks after the wedding with a box of basic Cadbury chocolates, the type that cost about £5 from Tesco. These boxes of chocolates were elaborately wrapped up and sent with thank you cards. Once opening the box, my friend realised they were all white...looked at the sell by date and they were years out!! 😂

Now, it wasn't really anything to me because I wasn't close to couple (knew them, had mutual friends but never expected to be invited in any capacity) so didn't affect me at all, but I think the whole thing was completely bizarre and such rude and entitled behaviour towards people who were supposed to be their friends. Apparently being asked to dress up in a waitor outfit and take orders/serve people is an immense honour. I didn't, and still don't, have words 😂

Anyone else got anything to top this?

It wasn’t a wedding but a milestone birthday, my friend had a party where her mother organised the drinks and her father organised the food. The parents weren’t together, the fathers new wife was a caterer and did the cake and food. The father and his wife turned up with the food only to be told by the mother the new wife wasn’t welcome there. She left taking the food with her. So we all turned up expecting dinner to find a few bags of chips to eat with a lot of alcohol. There were a lot of vomiting people that night.

Yeah well, that's kind of the point of the thread, and kind of the point of AIBU on Mumsnet, judging people you don't know. If you don't like it I suggest you bugger off to a more genteel website that doesn't offend your delicate disposition.

You made your friends serve you a meal at your wedding, didn’t you

damn, you've blown my cover @10HailMarys

Same

A girl I went to school with got married a few years ago - I wasn’t invited as wasn’t friends with her but quite a few of my friends went and were in fits about it as they thought it was hilarious.

We’re from an area known for being quite common in the South East and it is a bit rough to be fair so this isn’t an out of the ordinary story for where I’m from haha. They had the reception in a working man’s club in our town. The bride got changed into pyjamas half way through the reception - old ratty pyjamas that didn’t fit her properly. They served pie and mash still in the styrofoam containers and there was three separate fights at the reception and the police were called twice. 🤣

On my little Brother's 2nd (he is on his third)wedding, I had to cut it short after eating the salad. We (My Aunt and I) were on a table with a lot of the Bride's mates. I found out later that the bride had bad mouthed about us later. She has always been very cold to us and would always call my brother from the phone if mum rang up. The atmosphere at the table was ice box. My Aunt had very few social skills and I felt unable to speak to anyone, I just 'cramped up' and she kept muttering things and then commentating about how I was eating the salad.

Automatically my stomach clenched and I could no longer eat.

Thank God my other Aunt and Uncle came. My Uncle is (was RIP) a lovely man, very charming and yes, flirty but even he couldn't get a smile or any conversation out of the people around us. Aunt and Uncle then got up to find my mum and dad leaving my aunt and I. My Aunt got worse, looking around and glaring at people and making under her breath comments so in the end I took her back to the hotel before there was trouble. Sadly I missed my Dad and Uncle doing Riverdance......

Thankfully Wife number three is a normal human being not immature (wife 1) or a money mad icebox like wife 2.

@Woahtherehoney "Making Memories 💒"

What on earth have I just read OP. Really bizarre wedding

I realise I should have tried the "Are you x's friend, do you live near or have you come a long way, lovely weather etc etc" but I really felt the tension, knew my Aunt would kick off if I didn't get her away.

By contrast wife 3's wedding was lovely and even my Aunt was talking (okay they spoke to her). One of the wife's aunt's really made an effort with her. Never seen her so animated! My only complaint, it was in a barn (lovely) was a tight squeeze but my brother's mate was beside me and every time I went to take a bite of food his elbows were in the way!!!

(Obviously I know wife 3's name but do not feel the need to say it here!

I have a few, but unfortunately they are all from my own wedding

Our photographer contacted me with 2 months notice to say she needed to cancel as someone had got in touch with her needing someone at short notice. It was at a venue she’d always wanted to photograph so she decided to take the job and cancel ours instead. At least she was honest but I was pissed! Was so stressful trying to find someone available in prime wedding season at short notice

My cousin rsvp’d to say he was vegan (the only one attending) so we paid extra for the caterer to do him his own vegan bbq. I made vegan cupcakes and a pudding, we got vegan cheeses etc. At 4.30pm he comes over and says he’s leaving as he needed to catch his train. He knew we were having food around 5pm but his train had always been booked for that time. Why tell us he’s vegan if he’s not even going to be there to eat it!?

DH invited some fairly new friends from work, they are both friends with each other too so said they would both come along. She turned up with her 5 kids and one of the kids friends. Luckily we had loads of food but who just brings 6 extra people along without even asking!?

That could have ended so differently if she'd fallen into the pool. How lucky you found her when you did.

What a cow. My daughter was a bridesmaid for her friend, the grooms sister was the other bridesmaid. The bride paid for the bridesmaids outfits but requested they pay for their own shoes, makeup and hair. Fair enough. But the request also said she didn’t want the bridesmaids hair to be pinned up or curled in any way, she would be the only one with curled hair.
We lived round the corner from them so DD stayed with us the night before the wedding and arranged for hairdresser to come to the house. DD told the hairdresser how the bride wanted her hair doing. Hairdresser knows all three of the girls and asked DD how SHE wanted her hair styled. “Not pinned up but in ringlety barrel curls with the tongs so it drops into waves with the hairpiece swept to one side. That way it’s not pinned or curled but waved” And that is what she got, she looked gorgeous.

You see a lovely cake. You see them cutting a slice. It is taken away to the kitchens to cut. It comes back in slices.

You have no way of knowing, unless they cut up the whole thing in front of you, which is not usual, even if it IS real because it is messy.

I used to make wedding cakes for a living.

Years ago a friend (I say friend, but they weren’t close - not an acquaintance, but not a friend-friend either iyswim) asked me to make their wedding cake as a wedding present.

They we’re very clear that the wedding was intimate and only for close family and ‘dear friends’ so I wouldn’t be invited, but could I make them this fancy, elaborate, multi-tier cake and travel miles and miles to their venue to set it up for them as my gift to them.

Bride gave me a big lecture about how wedding cakes were overpriced and a complete rip off and it was just cake and couldn’t be that hard to make.

I declined and pointed out that maybe she should think about the way she went about asking people to do her massive favours. She bad mouthed me for months and told everyone that I was mean and it was my fault she didn’t have a wedding cake.

I'm only about halfway through the thread but honestly can't believe some of these. Why even have a wedding?!

This is my favourite.

Groom wanted me there and knew I couldn't leave the baby, so he said it was ok and would let us know if it wasn't. He didn't get back to us, so we assumed it was still ok.

Understand why the bride was annoyed but we brought the baby with the grooms approval, rather than just turning up with an uninvited baby.

At the actual wedding, the grooms family said to husband that they were looking forward to meeting the baby and were surprised when I wasn't there, so his side must have known we'd been invited to bring the baby by him.

Not on the level of these. But I went to a wedding where two of the chaps decided they couldn't wait until they got home so went off to the rhododendron bushes outside the marquee to have a shag during the wedding meal.

Maybe ‘paired up’ is the wrong description… I just meant the guy we walked down aisle with and then made an entrance to reception with them and were told to dance the first dance together. It was very orchestrated and not meant to be romantic, just for show. I cannot even remember the guy’s name and he was not remotely good looking, I just couldn’t understand his girlfriend’s reaction at all. Like I was some sort of pariah out to steal her man.

I got married in church. At a normal Sunday service, the vicar would, after the sermon, give out from the pulpit "notices"; ie; events and meetings for the following week. He did this halfway through our wedding!

You would not notice it unless you tried to cut it.

I've heard of it from years ago.

We were invited along with Mil to the wedding of a relative of DH’s. It was some distance away and midweek so meant two days off work which I was annoyed about to begin with. We had to pay £300 for rooms at the venue and it turned out we were invited to the evening do only. I initially refused to go, but DH and Mil are big on ‘family’ and persuaded me.

We got there and found out that in fact, we were the only people invited for the evening. Everyone else had been there the whole day. Worse, there was no food planned for the evening (no-one had told us this) and the kitchen had shut. Fortunately, the staff took pity on us and made us some sandwiches but I was furious. It was so rude.

Bride and groom ignored us all evening. I have no idea why they invited us.

The rudest behaviour I experienced was at my own wedding. My sister, having fallen out with me months before (she was always very controlling, and the first time I said no to her resulted in rage on her part), showed up and I thought maybe she’d calmed down. Nope, she’d attended so she could blank me, playground style.
All the while acting as if nothing was happening- the photos were informal, and completely optional (eg one of my sisters in law hates having her picture taken, and stayed out of it, no problem and no fuss on either side), but my not so D little sister insisted on her children being in the picture. I was glad about this, as I love my niece and nephew and had missed them since she’d been not speaking to me.
After the event my husband posted the family group shot on Facebook and she messaged him to say he couldn’t post pictures of her children.
Fortunately I was too busy on the day to let her spoil it, but she was an arsehole. I do not miss her in my life.

I had a Summer job at Windsor Safari Park back in the early 80's. As I was one of the few young people there over the age of 18 I was asked to work the bar for a wedding reception. I wasn't given any training or instruction.

The wedding reception was a really nice idea. A couple of coaches brought the bride and groom and all the guests from the wedding ceremony in London to the park and then went on a tour through the park to see the animals before stopping at the main house for the reception.

It was an open bar.

People were ordering quadruple brandies and coke, triple whiskeys etc. I had not been told about over-serving and was left to get on with it. One guest was kind enough to teach me how to pull a pint as after several minutes and me just pouring him pure froth we both agreed I hadn't a clue.

The guests got absolutely hammered and at least one was lying on the floor under a table after a couple of hours.

I hope the bride and groom or their families were wealthy because the final bar bill was obscene - up in the tens of thousands in today's money. If you recognize your wedding from this story, I am sorry, I am so, so sorry.