to ask what's rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour you've known of?

[PinkStarAtNight]

Lighthearted thread, inspired by the mention of wedding politics on another thread...just interested to know if anyone out there has experienced/known of any weddings/wedding related behaviour more bizarre/rude than the one I know of. Wedding guest behaviour, bride/groom behaviour and weddings that were just bizarre in general all welcome...

So, I'll start:
Couple getting married were on a very low budget (so much so that their centrepiece wedding cake was actually just cardboard with icing and decorations over it) but they still wanted a 'nice/fancy' wedding with sit down meal and servers...so they hired a town hall for an 'afternoon tea' luncheon type thing just after the wedding, with only close friends and family invited. They then asked other, less close, friends to 'have the privilege' of serving them at this 'high tea' event, free of charge, as a favour, instead of an invite to the wedding (not even the evening party that came later).
It was actually phrased as 'would you like to have the privilege of serving us at our wedding?' and people who were asked were very much expected to see it as an honour. Apparently it's somewhat of the 'done thing' in their circle.

These friends/servers were given waiter/waitress uniforms to wear. Just another reminder- they were NOT being paid. One of the people asked to do it was a friend of mine. She actually thought she was quite close to the family, had known them years and been round for dinner and things like that, but realised they obviously didn't see her that way when instead of a proper invite to the wedding she was asked to do this.

She said that she accidentally split tea whilst pouring it out for someone at this 'luncheon' (I mean its not like she was a professional server!) and the bride's father snapped at her. Everyone at the table treated her exactly like a professional server, not making wye contact, not even thanking her, barking orders at her etc, even though she had known all of them for years and spent time at their house for gatherings...all the servers were 'thanked' a few weeks after the wedding with a box of basic Cadbury chocolates, the type that cost about £5 from Tesco. These boxes of chocolates were elaborately wrapped up and sent with thank you cards. Once opening the box, my friend realised they were all white...looked at the sell by date and they were years out!! 😂

Now, it wasn't really anything to me because I wasn't close to couple (knew them, had mutual friends but never expected to be invited in any capacity) so didn't affect me at all, but I think the whole thing was completely bizarre and such rude and entitled behaviour towards people who were supposed to be their friends. Apparently being asked to dress up in a waitor outfit and take orders/serve people is an immense honour. I didn't, and still don't, have words 😂

Anyone else got anything to top this?

Most people attending were coupled and a ‘game’ was to go round the table and say how lucky they were with their partner and to say a reason they were sooo thankful to be in a relationship.
@twoleggedpirate
That sounds like the a dull hen party with full people . I'm happily married but I wouldn't want to spend all my time going on about DH when out with friends celebrating. I've been the single friend before so know what it's like, I'd have probably faked a headache and left.

*with dull people

Yes, I experienced this as well and it was even more annoying because I was a bridesmaid so it wasn't as if they didn't know my child!

Wow some bloody batshit ones here. Tho I changed names to ask if my wedding would be classed as a CF......

No budget just a few hundred given by family. Registry office. Dress from catalogue (still lovely in my eyes) home made ebay invitations.

All ok so far I hope. I invited people to have a 3 course meal at a lovely local venue who prepared an amazing meal in their function room. But the guests were asked to pay 15 pounds for their own meal. I provided a few bottles of wine but own drinks to be payed. I didn't want any gifts or a list of John Lewis crap.

Then a taxi too local labour club with cheep drinks and a buffet and dj. All welcome.

Threads like this make me wonder if I was unreasonable. I would have hated all friends to buy me 50 pounds worth of toaster or dinner sets. When I just wanted to see them all. When local weatherspoons would not have been as cheap for a usual night out.

(Dons hat for flaming....)

I wouldn't ask for people to pay to attend my wedding really...

For some reason, I find the idea of a potluck/everyone bringing a designated dish better than everyone paying for their own meal. (Although I went to a wedding like that and the bride kept congratulating herself on how much she'd saved that way, which I thought was a bit tone deaf.)

If I liked you enough to attend your wedding, though, I'd put it down to your lovable quirk. Hopefully you told people in advance so they knew what to expect.

I'd have no issue with that @Weddingcf. I think your celebrations were fine and appropriate, down to earth and honest. I'd have loved to be part of them.

It was quite the opposite of the lass from a three bed semi with champagne tastes and beer money getting married at a country house location, wearing a £2k frock, and hiring a photo booth and chocolate fountain who provides her guests with a pay bar.

@DrSbaitso yes people were aware months in advance and they had meal options avaliable so lots of choice and no pressure to attend.

@Eve171 but did u ask for expensive gifts or people to travel with petrol costs and/or pay taxis? Or even hotel costs if venue was far away? Babysitters? Non of this was needed as very local. Kids were all invited. That adds up to probably way more that 15 plus very cheep drinks.

Hmm I think in that situation you should have skipped the 3 course meal, had the wedding late afternoon and gone straight to the DJ/Dancing/Buffet. You could still have had speeches etc just used the DJ mic to deliver them.

OK so I guess I'm in the CF territory. Especially if the 3 course meal was steak or chicken a soup and 3 different deserts for 15 pounds. Cheaper than a weatherspoons lol. Glad I didn't ask people to pay 100pounds a night hotel room or babysitting charges 😅

It just seems a bit pointless to have that bit if you couldn't afford to do it, same as some people will just have a wedding and a meal and don't do the whole evening party thing.

I've been to weddings where the couple have got married at the venue late afternoon and its gone straight into the party with a band and buffet later on, no sit down meal. They were still great weddings, actually some of the best.

It's CF but at least people knew and those who were bothered could decline. I think a brief, nibbles only reception for a small number of local guests is fine but if you're inviting people who have to travel it's very cheeky not to provide a meal.

But how much did your friends and family have to pay to attend yours per head? Yes u may have paid for a lavish meal and drinks. But what was presents taxi's and hotel costs. I'm sure it would have been much more. If I've attended a wedding I've not had much change out of 200 for hotels travel and presents. To me that seems much more of a CF than a relaxed nice meal. Yes u may have spent thousands on it but I'm guessing your guests still had a higher layout 😳 but hey we enjoyed it and so did my friends who were under no obligation to come to the meal part as it was an invitation not a summons. Anyway was good to hear others opinions. I will take it on board.

I don't think it's about cost but about being a good host. Personally I also find the concept of "cover your plate" very tacky even though I'm from one of the cultures where people believe that. Providing appropriate refreshments is a way to say thank you for attending whether it's an expensive meal or not.

We had a family wedding where there were 200 people, many travelling from all over the UK for a brief reception with no meal. We'd stayed in a hotel, taken time off work etc. to be chucked out to go find our own dinner. Nothing outrageous happened but it felt very rude.

I'm not married but if I was to only invite people to my wedding who didn't need to book a hotel or take a taxi to avoid drinking then none of my family would be invited, or my partners, we would just have a few local friends. I'm sure that's not an unusual set up these days.

Your reasoning seems to be that because you only invited people who were local you could charge them for their dinner, thing is if you don't have guests traveling from far away, possibly needing 2 nights in a hotel, then there is actually no need for them to have a 3 course meal to fill up the day, they could have eaten at home and still attended.

Sounds lovely OP. I have no problem paying for a wedding meal if I know in advance and it’s fairly affordable. We went to a DH’s friend’s second wedding and it was very chilled. Had dinner in a tapas place and paid £15 each for me and dh and my two dc’s were free. It was awesome. There was loads and loads of delicious food, the kids ate loads of new things and it was a lovely relaxed evening. We did give a gift but it wasn’t expensive. Really lovely wedding.

No I didn't and I also didn't ask anyone to contribute to their own meal.
But each to their own!

I think that any wedding where the bride & groom expect the guests to pay anything towards their meal falls into Cf territory. Drinks, fair enough - people can pay for their own alcohol but soft drinks should really be provided.

At the end of the day the couple choose to get married.
They choose the wedding that they want (and therefore, should be able to afford)
They choose the stag/hen they want (and, again, should be therefore able to afford).

No one should be expected to cover any costs that they then have.
No one should pay extra on a hen or stag so that the bride/groom are paid for
No one should pay for their meal.

Being at a wedding isn't a privilege for the guests. It's a financial burden that is placed on them as they then have to pay for all the costs that are suddenly put on them as a result of the invitation (petrol/outfits/present/potential babysitting costs/ potential overnight stay and hen/stag costs).

The bride and groom should ensure they have a budget set up and bloody stick within it rather than find a way for guests to cover any of their costs whatsoever.

Sometimes you can't have your dream wedding - you have to budget within your means and not be a grabbing, greedy CF!!!!

It's the difference between paying one's own travel costs to attend an event, and paying for the actual event itself. You're not hosting if everyone else is literally paying directly for your do so you don't have to.

However, everyone thinks their wedding is ideal and everyone else gets it wrong, so you aren't unusual really.

Had a save the date card accompanied by a packet of flower seeds to be grown and cut to decorate the church.

When the actual invite arrived it was just for the evening reception for 8pm onwards. By that time the evening buffet had already been served and mostly all eaten by the day people who’d eaten the main meal mid-afternoon.

Not the bride and groom’s fault but the bar was overpriced and you’d be ignored by the young male bar staff unless you were a female around the same age with a low cut dress on.

Interesting.
Charlotte Dobre has the same story on one of her entitled brides videos.

Plus she called your baby “that”.
Hideous. I think you were so generous a couple in that your DH still attended the wedding!

went to a very costly wedding with a new boyfriend and recognised the groom as he was a friends on/off boyfriend up to the year before

later in the evening groom telling me he was still up for the manage a trois he was always pestering my friend and I for

and no he was not joking

the whole day was eventful. My boyfriends friends friend leering at me and another woman at the table it was so uncomfortable, him arguing with his wife, my boyfriends ex crying over him, the brides family very obviously not happy with her choice of husband, and to top it all off finding out boyfriend liked to wear my underwear (he became an ex the next day)

divorce followed the next year

The food and drink was excellent though

Ewwww!! Ewwww!! and Ewwww!! again!! 🤢 🤮

You are well rid of all these weird people.