to ask what's rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour you've known of?

[PinkStarAtNight]

Lighthearted thread, inspired by the mention of wedding politics on another thread...just interested to know if anyone out there has experienced/known of any weddings/wedding related behaviour more bizarre/rude than the one I know of. Wedding guest behaviour, bride/groom behaviour and weddings that were just bizarre in general all welcome...

So, I'll start:
Couple getting married were on a very low budget (so much so that their centrepiece wedding cake was actually just cardboard with icing and decorations over it) but they still wanted a 'nice/fancy' wedding with sit down meal and servers...so they hired a town hall for an 'afternoon tea' luncheon type thing just after the wedding, with only close friends and family invited. They then asked other, less close, friends to 'have the privilege' of serving them at this 'high tea' event, free of charge, as a favour, instead of an invite to the wedding (not even the evening party that came later).
It was actually phrased as 'would you like to have the privilege of serving us at our wedding?' and people who were asked were very much expected to see it as an honour. Apparently it's somewhat of the 'done thing' in their circle.

These friends/servers were given waiter/waitress uniforms to wear. Just another reminder- they were NOT being paid. One of the people asked to do it was a friend of mine. She actually thought she was quite close to the family, had known them years and been round for dinner and things like that, but realised they obviously didn't see her that way when instead of a proper invite to the wedding she was asked to do this.

She said that she accidentally split tea whilst pouring it out for someone at this 'luncheon' (I mean its not like she was a professional server!) and the bride's father snapped at her. Everyone at the table treated her exactly like a professional server, not making wye contact, not even thanking her, barking orders at her etc, even though she had known all of them for years and spent time at their house for gatherings...all the servers were 'thanked' a few weeks after the wedding with a box of basic Cadbury chocolates, the type that cost about £5 from Tesco. These boxes of chocolates were elaborately wrapped up and sent with thank you cards. Once opening the box, my friend realised they were all white...looked at the sell by date and they were years out!! 😂

Now, it wasn't really anything to me because I wasn't close to couple (knew them, had mutual friends but never expected to be invited in any capacity) so didn't affect me at all, but I think the whole thing was completely bizarre and such rude and entitled behaviour towards people who were supposed to be their friends. Apparently being asked to dress up in a waitor outfit and take orders/serve people is an immense honour. I didn't, and still don't, have words 😂

Anyone else got anything to top this?

Yes. Lots of cakes have dummy layers as well. Don't see the big deal with it.

I used to make wedding cakes and while I’ve never made a completely dummy wedding cake, I’ve made loads with dummy layers.

Mainly because people wanted huge, tall, multi-tier, cakes that, if all cake, would feed hundreds, so a couple of tiers would be dummy cake.

An older woman I knew through work (she was in her mid 70s) told me her partner had proposed and would I help her find a dress. This woman had five DS and DILs, all older than me, she didn't want to ask her DILs as she didn't like any of them. Tbh the family had a reputation locally so I was cautious...

So, I said I'd help. Trawled round shops, went to fittings, got invited to the hen night. (This was just a meal with her and the DILs. I was ignored the whole evening apart from side eyes.)

Comes to the wedding, she wants to get ready at my home so I set everything up and we leave from mine. Turns out I'm actually the stealth bridesmaid as she asks me to follow her up the aisle at the last minute. Cue more furious stares and muttering from the DSs and DILs.

During the meal, I was sat next to the groom. Just after the speeches, he leant over to me and whispered - can you please take the bride to slimming classes next week, she's far too fat for me!

I made my excuses and was made redundant shortly after so never had to see them again! I still have a chuckle that I'm in all the photos as 'stealth bridesmaid' when I was never asked or wanted to be but reckon the bride put her fingers up at her DILs.

We once got an evening invite to a wedding in Shetland. We don't live on Shetland and neither did the couple.

Even from north Scotland it's rather a long way to go for an evening only invite!

We were invited to a wedding in Banff, Canada - no one had ever been there, even the bride and groom! Sometimes it's just the destination.

Hahaha this has tickled me

We invited two of DH’s uncles to our wedding. His mum (their sister) doesn’t speak to either of them, DH wouldn’t know them if they sat next to him but we wanted to be polite and not upset granny by not inviting them.
Shortly after sending the invites we get a voicemail from granny (who uncle 1 lives with) saying “you haven’t invited Uncle 1’s wife!” We didn’t even know he was married! Cue some Facebook sleuthing to find out the wife’s name, and a new invitation is sent. We never even got an RSVP.
Uncle 2 RSVP’d less than a week before the wedding, saying “we’ll drop in if we’re in the area.” Unsurprisingly, they didn’t show.

My friends wedding. She and groom were vegetarian so had a veggie wedding. All of the guests were fine with this and happy for the couple to do this apart from the grooms family who left to get a McDonald’s half way through.

In the evening there was an open bar. The grooms family asked the staff the give them loads of unopened alcohol and took it home with them.

absolutely vile and contemptuous behaviour. They didn’t speak to anyone else just sat in the corner all together looking miserable.

Thats really rude of you...

Why ignore it?

Just say you can't attend

You wouldn't have liked my wedding then! Everyone pitched in. Hopefully (although I'm terrified one of my guests will post about it here) we made this very clear to everyone up front. It wasn't at all traditional and we (all) had a blast.

At my step sisters wedding, I was literally pushed aside by a bridesmaid and told that me and my infant daughter could not be in the photos.

I didn’t really care but my mum was furious. The bridesmaid died very suddenly quite soon afterwards and my mum was convinced she had developed the power to wish people dead. 🙄

user1473878824

Guested being completely separated from anyone they know? I can understand if a couple sit opposite etc but separate everyone from family & friends completely? Weddings I've been to have always seated family/friends together

They served pie and mash still in the styrofoam containers and there was three separate fights at the reception and the police were called twice. 🤣

so a good time was had by all!!

Thinking back to my own wedding I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the guests thought “What a weird wedding”.
45 years ago, we were planning our wedding as you do.
We asked DH’s parents for a guest list for their side. It came back with six names on including themselves, DH’s two younger siblings, one of whom was a bridesmaid, his brother was a groomsman, the other two were his maternal grandmother and aunt and that was it, no other aunts, uncles, cousins or friends.
I have a photo taken at the church, my side was pretty full, on his side there’s just those six at the front then a lot of empty pews until three pews are taken up with DH’s friends and partners.
One of the partners told us later they’d purposely sat further back to leave room for his family, it was only when the Wedding March struck up to me walking down the aisle on the arm of my dad did they realise no one else was coming otherwise they’d have sat further up front.
DH was late, his wedding car was stuck in traffic, me and my dad in in ours driving round in circles until our driver got the radio message to say they’re arrived at the church. Mum said later the vicar was panicking.
It was a good day though. My lovely brother slipped DH £50.00 “ We thought you’d have enough toasters and towels”

This is probably very outing but… Our good friends at the time wanted to get married and keep costs down (despite being actually quite wealthy) fair enough given the cost of weddings. So they asked friends to pitch in.

my husband was a graphic designer so he did the wedding invites for free (would’ve come to £400 if he had charged)

I was a bridesmaid and asked to be photographer (I had a professional camera) which I declined as couldn’t have done both. This was met with some annoyance! We all had to buy or own dresses, shoes and shawls. I and the other bridesmaids arrived at the brides house the night before, she was too worried so hadn’t thought about dinner for us and didn’t want to eat. We got spaghetti from the mags and fags shop in their apartment complex. No provision for breakfast, porridge oats with hemp milk, which was vile. Left to sort our own hair and makeup between us, I did the mother of the brides make up after she arrived and put me on the spot. We bought the bride an expensive charm bracelet as a wedding gift with thoughtful gold charms, mine cost £45. We arrive at the venue for the wedding and all goes smoothly, no food while photos are taken in a nearby park, I think my husband got me something from a shop in the end but can’t remember. Off to the reception venue, where the brides maids, grooms men and assorted partners had to set up the tables and decorations before the rest of the wedding arrived. They had paid wait staff to serve the meal, but the bridesmaids and groomsmen were expected to clean up, wash up and serve the cake and then tidy all the chairs and tables away to reset the hall (to save more money) We had to leave early to get the last train back so avoided having to do to much of that, (think they were there til 2/3am) by that point we were so tired we fell asleep on the tube missed our stop and had to go back the other way by bus. The next morning the groom sent a message asking if we had left them a card or present at the venue as they couldn’t find one. We were shocked having done the invites for free, given the bride a gift and a hell of a lot of hard work on their behalf. So we sent an online contribution to their honeymoon and decided to lose touch. I still remember it now years later, it put me off doing a big do myself. I hope all the cost saving was worth it in the end, the wool was pulled from my eyes in terms of what they actually valued for sure!

Ooh no that’s a horrible thing to do as a surprise! My dad died when I was very young so I decided to do a speech instead of father of the bride as it didn’t feel right anyone taking his place. I absolutely could not have held it together if there was an empty chair with a gigantic photo of him in front of it! No wonder it brought the mood down.

Completely agree they were CF about everything but didn't you get them a card?

Old Uni friend from my postgrad degree which was done at a uni miles from my hometown invited me to the service then evening do of her wedding after sending me a save the date magnet, missing out the main wedding meal bit. Funnily enough didn’t fancy travelling for 6 hours, needing a couple of nights accommodation and getting childcare for 3 kids to go to an evening reception. Think she was upset I turned it down.

i just signed the papers. could not envisage all the rest

Oh my gosh that’s your take away? 🤣 yes I did one with the bridesmaids and my husband had given them one when he did the invites, like a congrats on your wedding, can’t wait to celebrate with you. But they still wanted more.

I went to the wedding of a friend whose father had died about a year before. Her brother in law gave her away and made a speech. He began "The one person not here today is Gillian's father..." which set Gillian and her Mum off, and they couldn't stop crying. She really hated him for that for a long time afterwards!

Two occasions I can think of. Both involving villagers with very low social skills.

A large village wedding held in the local village hall. The bride used to serve in the village store, which was two minutes walk from the wedding venue. An A Road used to run through the village and there is a wide sweeping entrance and layby next to the store for drivers to pull over into. Bride left the venue around 10pm to get some fresh air. Found about an hour later inside the cab of a lorry with a cab rocking to the sound of her and a lorry driver customer having a final shag. Groom was oblivious back at the venue and never knew (since died).

At the adjacent village a couple of decades later. Bride and groom, neither totally sharp in the brain, lining up to shake the guests hands. Lots of alcohol flowing like water from a cool tap in a hot desert. Groom says to a random male guest, do you want to see 'something blue'? Groom then hoists brides dress up to display a small pair of blue pants. Five minutes later bride and groom are in a side room, bride stands on chair pushing her blue covered Venus out as male guests take it in turn to 'kiss the bride'.

In-breeding is grim.

The Dickensian orphans comment above reminded me of a wedding I attended which had day guest and evening guests, and separate dress codes for the day part and evening part. So after the wedding, photos, drinks, meal and speeches, there was supposed to be an hour allowed for the day guests to go and change (so two outfits needed as well as travel, present, accommodation etc 🙄). Then the evening bit would start.

But the speeches overran by a looong way (Best Man speech was all about the stag do and involved in-jokes and making the stags stand up on cues to drink or cheer while everyone else sat mutely). So we day guests were sitting drinking in the dining room which had big glass doors and windows onto the bar and suddenly all the evening guests arrive and are seen peering forlornly through the windows whilst waiting for the day bit to end - at which point the day guests and B&G still all have to go and get changed! Not all of us stayed at the venue either so we had an extra taxi away and back to pay for too. So the poor evening guests were left waiting and waiting for their bit of the event to start and for the B&G to actually acknowledge them.

Was this in South Wales by any chance?

When my brother got married, a guest turned up in a long white dress and tiara......