to ask what's rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour you've known of?

[PinkStarAtNight]

Lighthearted thread, inspired by the mention of wedding politics on another thread...just interested to know if anyone out there has experienced/known of any weddings/wedding related behaviour more bizarre/rude than the one I know of. Wedding guest behaviour, bride/groom behaviour and weddings that were just bizarre in general all welcome...

So, I'll start:
Couple getting married were on a very low budget (so much so that their centrepiece wedding cake was actually just cardboard with icing and decorations over it) but they still wanted a 'nice/fancy' wedding with sit down meal and servers...so they hired a town hall for an 'afternoon tea' luncheon type thing just after the wedding, with only close friends and family invited. They then asked other, less close, friends to 'have the privilege' of serving them at this 'high tea' event, free of charge, as a favour, instead of an invite to the wedding (not even the evening party that came later).
It was actually phrased as 'would you like to have the privilege of serving us at our wedding?' and people who were asked were very much expected to see it as an honour. Apparently it's somewhat of the 'done thing' in their circle.

These friends/servers were given waiter/waitress uniforms to wear. Just another reminder- they were NOT being paid. One of the people asked to do it was a friend of mine. She actually thought she was quite close to the family, had known them years and been round for dinner and things like that, but realised they obviously didn't see her that way when instead of a proper invite to the wedding she was asked to do this.

She said that she accidentally split tea whilst pouring it out for someone at this 'luncheon' (I mean its not like she was a professional server!) and the bride's father snapped at her. Everyone at the table treated her exactly like a professional server, not making wye contact, not even thanking her, barking orders at her etc, even though she had known all of them for years and spent time at their house for gatherings...all the servers were 'thanked' a few weeks after the wedding with a box of basic Cadbury chocolates, the type that cost about £5 from Tesco. These boxes of chocolates were elaborately wrapped up and sent with thank you cards. Once opening the box, my friend realised they were all white...looked at the sell by date and they were years out!! 😂

Now, it wasn't really anything to me because I wasn't close to couple (knew them, had mutual friends but never expected to be invited in any capacity) so didn't affect me at all, but I think the whole thing was completely bizarre and such rude and entitled behaviour towards people who were supposed to be their friends. Apparently being asked to dress up in a waitor outfit and take orders/serve people is an immense honour. I didn't, and still don't, have words 😂

Anyone else got anything to top this?

A work colleague told me of a wedding they went to. Normal wedding, married midday, all to reception sit down, drinks and speeches, evening reception. NO FOOD ALL DAY OR NIGHT and no mention of it. This never leaves my mind WHYYYYY 😂

I feel like I’ve missed out, these stories are hilarious. The rudest I’ve experienced was from a bridal party. I was a bridesmaid at my bestie’s wedding which was quite large with like 6 bridesmaids and groomsman. I was ‘paired’ with one of them, as you are, and walked down the isle with him and was expected to dance with him once. Well he had the most jealous girlfriend I’ve ever met and he basically wouldn’t let me put his arm through hus now would he dance with me. She gave me the constant evil eye. It was actually so ridiculous it was funny. For the dance, another bridesmaid’s husband stepped in when he saw what was happening, he was like ‘how rude, cannot leave you standing there!’

Not wedding related sorry. But
I went to a swanky hotel in the lakes a few years ago. It was September time. Leaflets dotted around inside the hotel offered the Christmas rates. Along with that was an explanation that on Christmas day, if you the paying guest was staying at Christmas rates, you the paying guest got to serve all the hotel staff their Christmas dinner.

Blew my mind that this was even a thing, but then to also pay more money at Christmas for a room and you be the server?
Did Also wonder if you had to cool the dinner and clean your room after.

His mother was very uncomfortable wearing a costume, but decided eventually to wear a man's suit and fedora and go as one of the Blues Brothers. Bride threw a massive temper tantrum because the costume didn't MEAN enough to her MIL. She was apparently supposed to use the fancy dress wedding to express her inner self and dress as what she had always dreamed of being. Anything less was "not supporting our vision."

She should have told them that it DID actually mean a great deal to her - as she was thrilled to have the opportunity to finally come out as trans after all of these years - and massively upstaged the bride-and-groomzillas! Would have very much served them right; what a nasty way to treat an older woman at her own child's wedding.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

We have a winner

From what my daughter says this seems to be a normal thing now. She doesn't think there is an issue with it. Bit much if you've travelled from a far .

No idea about rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour, I’ve known chief bridesmaids really behave as though it’s almost their wedding…

One wedding I was at there were old friends of the bride there some of whom didn’t know each other. We arrived the weekend of the wedding or it was a long weekend, anyway a day or so before it. Day of the wedding one of the friends turned white, all very awkward as one of bride’s best friend’s who is Australian had turned up with her new boyfriend but turns out it was the ex of one of the friend’s and I don’t think things ended well between them. The Aussie girl and the other friend I don’t think ever met! Cue the friend talking about her new boyfriend who lived abroad. There were tears and bride consoled the friend.

@daisychain01
What isn't a good look is your dramatic and pious post

Ok so my sister's last wedding to say nicely the groom had a longterm girlfriend like at least 20 years when they got together. We are Mexican so huge wedding. I'm sitting with my family when my friend comes to tell me that she heard rustling in the bushes. It was a historic mansion with tall hedges or bushes. My friend went to investigate and saw the groom's ex chased her out of the bushes and down the street. Found out next morning my car and the MOH had our cars keyed because ex wasn't sure which car was my sister's. My sister's car was fine 🙂

I was one of my best friend’s bridesmaids, there were 5 in total. We’d been dress shopping with her, been to the venue for lunch, had wedding planning nights at her house, tasted cakes etc. She had planned it about 3 years in advance so there was a lot of stuff that was obviously going to happen a lot nearer the time but we were all enthusiastic despite the wait. We were all still best friends but she randomly messaged on the group chat to un-bridesmaid four of us 😳 It was almost more painful that it was done so casually like it didn’t matter at all when we’d put loads of effort in, bought personalised pyjamas and said we’d pay for our own dresses.
As it got closer, around the time we went on the hen do, she again very randomly announced that she’d reinstated one of the bridesmaids that she’d originally un-asked! It was so much more of a kick in the teeth than the original un-asking. Despite all of this we went along and smiled politely. I didn’t ever fall out with her but it majorly sticks out as a big red flag about her character now and again. Moral of the story, don’t ask bridesmaids years in advance and wait until you’re 100% sure on who you’re having!

my Maternal grandmother was a very- strong and opinionated- lady and was a self styled 'matriarch'.

My parents got married when they were 21. It was meant to be a child free wedding and quite small, but my grandmother decided none of this applied to her side of the family so all these extended cousins of my mother and their assorted children turned up. My parents had no idea. Sadly the other side had been told it was small and childfree and were mortally offended when it turned out it wasn't and there was a bnig bust up at the wedding itself and my father has cousins who have never spoken to him since. I am 50 and my parents now in their late 70s so this has been quite some time.

My parents also booked as their honeymoon a small boutique hotel. Grandmother decided she and my Grandfather should stay in the adjoining room again without telling my parents in advance... a room with a connecting door. My mother's older sister also went on a holiday abroad about 3 days into my parents honeymoon and my grandmother insisted that my parents cut their honeymoon short in order to 'waver sister off at the airport'.

My mother never really managed to escape the demands of her mother sadly and it blighted her life. She's long dead now but my oldest aunt has taken over the mantle of family matriarch and everyone dances attendance on her now.

usually to make the cake look bigger/taller/more impressive than it is

It may well be to stop the cake from collapsing or becoming prohibitively expensive and wasteful. It's not at all unusual for the lower parts of a large/novelty cake to be fake because it would be so difficult to support/reinforce them otherwise, as well as upping the cost a lot. Could well mean there's too much cake as well and it'll be wasted.

I don't see the need for all the moralising about it. It's a cake, it's a spectacle, it's fun to look at and have in the photographs and that's why people like having it. No weirder than ice sculptures or flower arrangements. Where do you get this idea that it's about "tricking" people?

As long as everyone gets to eat some, who cares if the lower parts are fake to stop it collapsing or prevent spending money on excess cake that won't get eaten?

Relative wore black to the wedding of their sibling because they hated the person sibling was marrying.

I didn't think people actually did that! Part of me still thinks the person who told me about it is lying. It's something straight out of a soap opera!

On the dummy cake issue, a lot of tiered cakes have the top tiers as dummy because it's lighter - it's for stability issues. If you use certain sponges and icings the weight can be pretty significant and though you can use pillars or whatever to hold up real cake, the tiers can sink into the bottom layers so fake layers are used higher up to prevent this.

Even if the whole cake is fake, so what? It's part of the decoration, something to enjoy looking at and give a "wedding party" feel. You're still getting real dessert so who cares?

Are you joking..????

I don’t get this one – what’s wrong with the father of the groom making a speech? What’s wrong with his parents meeting yours the day of the wedding? As far as wedding CFery goes this all seems run of the mill behaviour.

Bloody hell. I wouldn't have let the hairdresser remove the curls if I was the child's mother, regardless of the bride's reaction.

Makes you wonder why they bothered with all the props. They only need themselves to create a complete horror of a party!

My friend was a bridesmaid for one of her old uni. The other bridesmaids were the bride’s sister and her two small daughters (so the bride’s nieces). After the ceremony, the bride announced to my friend that her role for the rest of the day was to look after two little bridesmaids so their mum and dad could have a break and let their hair down. This childcare role extended to not being allowed to drink more than two glasses of wine so she could stay ‘responsible’ and being snapped at by the bride and the bride’s mother when the girls, who were bloody hard work, misbehaved. The bride’s sister, ie the girls’ mother, also had a go at her when one of the girls spilt some food down her dress, because apparently my childless friend who only met these kids once before the wedding should have known to tuck a napkin under their chins during the meal.

We went to a wedding about 209 miles away without food.

Travelled the night before for a late morning register office ceremony. Bride and groom and their immediate families went for lunch. Other guests had to fend for themselves. Evening reception at 7pm. By 8.30 pm it was clear that there would be no food. Everyone went to the chip shop.

You seem to have missed the main point that the bride and groom were utter twunts to ask good friends and family to act like paid servants all day. Lack of social skills my absolute arse, the pretentious fuckwits.

Clearly you enjoy poking them with a stick on here then as a cheap form on entertainment @Catspyjamas17 Even though you don't know them either. Nice.

My story is not nearly as bad as some of the stories on here but I’ll add to it anyway!

A friend of mine invited dh and I to her wedding ceremony.
We were not invited to the wedding meal in between, just the church ceremony & the evening do. So we were expected to entertain ourselves for 7 hours (we were in a different city, miles from home)

What made it worse was the invitations were very ambiguous - it didn’t actually say if were invited to the meal or not, I had to text my friend & ask, which was slightly awkward. Apparently, lots of confusion from other guests too, with a few couples turning up to the reception venue, only to find out they were not invited to that part, when they couldn’t see their names on the seating plan😳

We went to the church ceremony, I wanted to see her get married & it was a lovely ceremony, but we politely declined the evening do.

I understand weddings can be expensive, with sit down meals etc but I’ve always found it odd and actually quite rude to have guests invited for different parts of the day. It gives the impression some are not as important as others etc. So much so, that when dh and I got married 2 years later, I made sure all 73 of our guests were there for the whole celebration.

I've never seen bridesmaids paired with groomsmen at any wedding unless they are actually a couple already or get together on the day!

I'm not trying to justify the girlfriend's reaction but what a bloody awkward set up.