to ask what's rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour you've known of?

[PinkStarAtNight]

Lighthearted thread, inspired by the mention of wedding politics on another thread...just interested to know if anyone out there has experienced/known of any weddings/wedding related behaviour more bizarre/rude than the one I know of. Wedding guest behaviour, bride/groom behaviour and weddings that were just bizarre in general all welcome...

So, I'll start:
Couple getting married were on a very low budget (so much so that their centrepiece wedding cake was actually just cardboard with icing and decorations over it) but they still wanted a 'nice/fancy' wedding with sit down meal and servers...so they hired a town hall for an 'afternoon tea' luncheon type thing just after the wedding, with only close friends and family invited. They then asked other, less close, friends to 'have the privilege' of serving them at this 'high tea' event, free of charge, as a favour, instead of an invite to the wedding (not even the evening party that came later).
It was actually phrased as 'would you like to have the privilege of serving us at our wedding?' and people who were asked were very much expected to see it as an honour. Apparently it's somewhat of the 'done thing' in their circle.

These friends/servers were given waiter/waitress uniforms to wear. Just another reminder- they were NOT being paid. One of the people asked to do it was a friend of mine. She actually thought she was quite close to the family, had known them years and been round for dinner and things like that, but realised they obviously didn't see her that way when instead of a proper invite to the wedding she was asked to do this.

She said that she accidentally split tea whilst pouring it out for someone at this 'luncheon' (I mean its not like she was a professional server!) and the bride's father snapped at her. Everyone at the table treated her exactly like a professional server, not making wye contact, not even thanking her, barking orders at her etc, even though she had known all of them for years and spent time at their house for gatherings...all the servers were 'thanked' a few weeks after the wedding with a box of basic Cadbury chocolates, the type that cost about £5 from Tesco. These boxes of chocolates were elaborately wrapped up and sent with thank you cards. Once opening the box, my friend realised they were all white...looked at the sell by date and they were years out!! 😂

Now, it wasn't really anything to me because I wasn't close to couple (knew them, had mutual friends but never expected to be invited in any capacity) so didn't affect me at all, but I think the whole thing was completely bizarre and such rude and entitled behaviour towards people who were supposed to be their friends. Apparently being asked to dress up in a waitor outfit and take orders/serve people is an immense honour. I didn't, and still don't, have words 😂

Anyone else got anything to top this?

But even if you are having long speachs the venue should know what time they'll be finished

Only if the people giving the speeches tell the venue approximately how long they are, @Sugarfree23. Otherwise they have to take an educated guess, based on their experience of how long speeches normally are, which is fine until someone makes a speech that is massively longer than normal.

I don't think I can top that, but something very similar happened to me at PIL's wedding anniversary weekend. They 'invited' DH and me to come, but when we arrived we were presented with cocktail menus and told that we would be serving drinks and preparing food all weekend, including buying and preparing meals for when the caterers who were preparing the main meal had gone.

MIL proceeded to bark orders at me like a servant and even lost her temper completely and screamed at me because it took me a couple of minutes to make each of the incredibly complex cocktails she had put on the menu. The more drunk she got, the worse the behaviour. She had hired a sort of posh(ish) place and it seemed like she also felt it gave her the right to behave like her mental picture of an aristocrat. The caterer actually took her to one side and tactfully said how fortunate she was to have family who were trying so hard to help, and how we deserved thanks, but it really didn't change anything.

Fortunately, they all got absolutely hammered the first night and had to go to bed at 7, leaving DH and me to enjoy a stunning, moonlit night by ourselves.

On the subject of speeches I once went a birthday party and the father of the birthday girl gave a speech. We were all standing and crammed into the tiny boiling marquee (summer time in Australia so hot). I was leaning against a pillar because I felt hot and more than a bit nauseous and worried about collapsing. I could not really hear the speeches because the father was droning on and there wasn't a microphone.

I was getting more uncomfortable and exhausted and shaky due to the heat and there was a sudden silence. I thought that thankfully the Father of birthday girl had finally shut up. I recall looking at my watch and thinking '18 fucking minutes of a speech??!!' Turned out he was just pausing for breath and he started up again and the only sentence I could make out was; 'And then when Sharon was 2 years old she..... '

and it went on and on. I had to leave in order to get fresh air as i genuinely felt so ill after standing up for so long in the heat under a plastic bloody tent.

It was quite sad really. The father presented his daughter with a nice bottle of really good expensive red wine he had saved since the week of her birth. So it was 21 years old. And some fucker stole it that night.

You did very well to not throw the drink in her face. I don’t think I would have been quite so restrained!

Ha! I didn't want to make a scene and ruin their big day, but DH absolutely raised the behaviour with them after the event, and made it clear that if it ever happened again, we would leave immediately. That was our first real step to putting in place much-needed boundaries. MIL is a very, very difficult person who doesn't really seem to have the capacity to think about anyone else at any deep level, so being very clear about behaviour and expectations is the only way forward.

???

Do you think they were hoping to convert you all @Curledupwithabook?

I'd be so tempted to shout, or a bloody good shag tonight.

I saw this "We’re from an area known for being quite common in the South East and it is a bit rough to be fair" and I thought of my home town, was too tired to do the quote thing properly apparently.

@Mothership4two honestly the bride and her immediate family seemed to be in such a bubble I don't think it would have occured to them that anyone wouldn't want to spend the whole day talking religion. The morning, prior to the vows, was pretty much a full church service. Multiple hymns. Felt very awkward!

:)

I'd be so tempted to shout, or a bloody good shag tonight.
@determinedtomakethiswork 😂😂

Recently we got an invite to a wedding of my DH’s cousin. I was confused as there were 2 invites in the envelope. A full all day invite for my DH and just an evening one for me. Never seen that before splitting up married couples. Turns out the couple had spent £5k on the hire of this big country house for the insta photos but that meant only blood relatives were invited. We declined.

No invite at all for the kids at all either. When other blood relation kids were invited. But their day so we just declined. They asked for money even from declining guests. New one on me.

5k was just the hire of the hall exclusively. Food was extra so only blood relatives were invited. Strange. All went on instagram.

"Child free" wedding which, when we got there, turned out wasn't child free.

What they meant was not our child.

All these 'ceremony only followed by evening only' events which seem to be the new thing now where you have to bugger off for 4 hours while the chosen people get to have a meal. Sod that, l,
I'd attend the ceremony only and leave, or decline. Not going to be wandering round a place that I don't know (always in the middle of nowhere too) for hours in wedding outfit looking for some somewhere to eat

Worst wedding I went to was my cousin’s. Son of my DM twin brother so had always been quite a close family. Afternoon wedding and reception together with evening do at a posh hotel in centre of the city where my family lived at the time. My father was getting on with declining health and was usually reluctant to travel further than the supermarket shop. He would usually be in bed by 8pm at the latest but wanted to make the effort for his nephews day.

First red flags should have gone up when groom’s parents seemed reluctant to talk anything wedding related with us. No one insisting on knowing the plan for every minute of the day but the response to casual “how is the planning going?” conversations were met with a swift subject change. Mum, dad and myself had an evening invite only due to space issues. Not a problem as the venue was known to be pricey. Day of the wedding dawns and dad (and rest of us) make massive effort to get him there - dressed him, made sure he had medication and the walking sticks he was determined to use instead of his wheelchair. Taxi to venue and arrived at 7.30pm for a 7pm reception.

Turns out meal reception was overrunning. We were made to walk through the dinner, with my father on walking sticks, to sit in the corner and watch people finish their meal. Hall was full of 200 people including bride’s entire family (fair enough, it was her wedding), multiple friends (again fair enough) and my cousin’s boss, his wife and five kids and at least two tables of colleagues with their kids who I happen to know my cousin was not overly friendly with. At least we were not alone sitting in the corner watching people eat their meal. Turns out none of the groom’s family had merited an invite to the actual wedding. His three aunts, their husbands and me (mainly there to be carer to dad) all had evening only invites. Sat in a corner for 45 minutes whilst people finished their four course dinner and only then were we permitted to buy our own drinks from the bar. We stayed until about 10pm which is all my father could manage. Spoke to the happy couple once for about 5 minutes but otherwise ignored.

Obviously it’s their wedding to do as they please and they are still happily married today but it did sting a bit that they could invite so many casual acquaintances and not include any of the grooms family. My dad passed away a few months later and it’s such a shame that after all the effort he made to get there it was his last family event. No one was angry about it, just sort of sad, which is not what you want at a wedding!

My DH had two best friends through teenage years into adulthood - all three of them doing everything together. One met a lady and things started to change, less time spent together. Fine things do change throughout friendships. Were told that the wedding would be family only but we were invited to reception - so me, DH, other friend and his wife on New Years eve. Arrived at the venue which was mother's house (not a big one standard three bedroom). Bride started going on about how cramped it was and there were too many people. Bride's mother then starts showing wife of other friends photos from wedding. Turns out all of brides family and friends were there but only grooms parents. Literally nobody else from his side and his best man was the bride's brother. I can vividly remember the look of hurt on DH and the other friend's face. We left shortly after - didn't want to celebrate a New Year in place we were clearly not wanted. The bride proceeded to completely cut everyone out of her DH's life that he had known before her. Really sad. They've split up now but efforts to mend the friendship failed because the friend "didn't want to get caught" socialising with us even after they'd split.

@catmum27
Their wedding planner sounds brutal. Bridezilla needs to give her own head a wobble, shortsighted woman.

Step mum of the groom (mid 60s) taking the youngest children (aged between 18mnths and 4yrs) and playing with them away from the main area without telling the parents. Taking said children to her room for prolonged periods of time without telling the parents. Bride and groom having to run around constantly trying to find their kids. Step mum ignored all other guests except children, takes the children from other guests without speaking (even from their own grandparents and aunts/uncles). Apparently she's just 'making up for not having her own kids' Was very bizarre, rude and frightening at times.

You are a better person than me. I would have been furious at the lack of respect shown to my parents.

These two stories where the groom allowed his family
/friends to be excluded. Why would you begin your married life, showing your in-laws you're a wet lettuce with no spine.
?

Why would you even agree to your friends and family being disrespected in such a way?

Ha! This reminds me of a hen do I was at and I was single. Most people attending were coupled and a ‘game’ was to go round the table and say how lucky they were with their partner and to say a reason they were sooo thankful to be in a relationship. It got to my turn and by god it was awkward and I felt shit. I’m still single at almost 40 and find weddings etc quite hard as it is!