to ask what's rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour you've known of?

[PinkStarAtNight]

Lighthearted thread, inspired by the mention of wedding politics on another thread...just interested to know if anyone out there has experienced/known of any weddings/wedding related behaviour more bizarre/rude than the one I know of. Wedding guest behaviour, bride/groom behaviour and weddings that were just bizarre in general all welcome...

So, I'll start:
Couple getting married were on a very low budget (so much so that their centrepiece wedding cake was actually just cardboard with icing and decorations over it) but they still wanted a 'nice/fancy' wedding with sit down meal and servers...so they hired a town hall for an 'afternoon tea' luncheon type thing just after the wedding, with only close friends and family invited. They then asked other, less close, friends to 'have the privilege' of serving them at this 'high tea' event, free of charge, as a favour, instead of an invite to the wedding (not even the evening party that came later).
It was actually phrased as 'would you like to have the privilege of serving us at our wedding?' and people who were asked were very much expected to see it as an honour. Apparently it's somewhat of the 'done thing' in their circle.

These friends/servers were given waiter/waitress uniforms to wear. Just another reminder- they were NOT being paid. One of the people asked to do it was a friend of mine. She actually thought she was quite close to the family, had known them years and been round for dinner and things like that, but realised they obviously didn't see her that way when instead of a proper invite to the wedding she was asked to do this.

She said that she accidentally split tea whilst pouring it out for someone at this 'luncheon' (I mean its not like she was a professional server!) and the bride's father snapped at her. Everyone at the table treated her exactly like a professional server, not making wye contact, not even thanking her, barking orders at her etc, even though she had known all of them for years and spent time at their house for gatherings...all the servers were 'thanked' a few weeks after the wedding with a box of basic Cadbury chocolates, the type that cost about £5 from Tesco. These boxes of chocolates were elaborately wrapped up and sent with thank you cards. Once opening the box, my friend realised they were all white...looked at the sell by date and they were years out!! 😂

Now, it wasn't really anything to me because I wasn't close to couple (knew them, had mutual friends but never expected to be invited in any capacity) so didn't affect me at all, but I think the whole thing was completely bizarre and such rude and entitled behaviour towards people who were supposed to be their friends. Apparently being asked to dress up in a waitor outfit and take orders/serve people is an immense honour. I didn't, and still don't, have words 😂

Anyone else got anything to top this?

Similar thing, a glass of something and a few nibbles and that was it. Our remote hotel however had a wedding on and the kitchen was closed, which we'd been told but had expected to eat earlier. Luckily a waiter came into the bar with a couple of trays of bbq from the evening 'do'!

My sister used to manage a local hotel and when she was short of staff she’d phone me up and ask if I could help out.

Got the call saying could I come one Saturday because she had a wedding in a marquee and I would serve in the hotel bar. No problem.

Got there and it turns out I went to school with Groom and best man. Horrible pair of bullies who I’d had a couple of run ins with because hey used to pick on the fat kid with the BO problem.

Not really an issue for me, I was in the hotel bar and they were in the Marquee. About 12 O’clock, sister runs into the bar and says come into the marquee as I’m the only male member of staff and there was trouble.

I went into the marquee only to see the groom naked from the waist down standing on the table waving his dick at his new mother in law with the best man trying to get up and join him.

I managed to talk them both down by inviting them for free beer in the hotel bar and then had to stand in the door and had to fend off three of the brides family who were out for revenge.

Do you know what happened in the end?

Nope, never seen them to this day.

A few years ago, my daughter invited herself as a plus-one to her sort-of boyfriend at the time's cousin's wedding. She was 22 at the time and couldn't quite get her head around the fact that the young man in question had literally fled to the opposite end, lengthways, of the UK to get away from her. He quit his job, packed up his flat, then called to tell her he was moving back to Scotland whilst he was on a train and already halfway there. Quite frankly, given her behaviour around the time this happened, I couldn't condemn him for that. But my daughter didn't get the hint and this was the second time she'd called me to tell me she wouldn't be home for dinner, because she was waiting for a flight to Scotland... The first time, he tidied the shed and garage during her overnight visit, and she spent most of the time on the phone to me in tears of rage/confusion. This time, because he'd got the invite to the wedding whilst still living in our village (he'd stayed on after uni, his family were ex-pats abroad and he thought my daughter's MH issues were something he could rescue her from), she'd presumed the plus-one was going to be her.

I couldn't stop her from going (I did try to dissuade her but got told I was an interfering, controlling cunt - so figured she'd just have to figure it out for herself).

So, she rocks up, meets his parents and sister for the first time as they'd flown back from abroad, can't work out why they're all very "off" with her. The next day is the wedding, and she was dressed in a full length blue mermaid formal gown, when everyone else seemed to be in tea-dresses (it was a summer wedding). The sister took a photograph of her and the runaway boyfriend in the hotel - and she looked stunning (I am biased, of course) but the runaway boyfriend looked like he was fantastically constipated. His body language was very "this isn't my idea folks..." - and yes; I agree, he should have told her. Been blunt. Or perhaps he had and she'd rocked up regardless? I will never know as all boyfriends before the one he has now (one ghosted her, one fled) are never to be mentioned in her hearing ever again... The wedding happens, she's chosen a dress that almost matches the bride's in style, then the photos start. And she was side-lined. Literally told that they didn't want her in any of them, by the runaway's "off" mother (I can't blame her, I would be civil but furious, too, if this happened).

She was put on a flight the same night - two days earlier than she'd expected. And she gets home and she was in floods of tears, very upset and bewildered - but because she'd expected the runaway to fucking propose to her. At his cousin's wedding. By the time she had a print made of the solitary photo of her and the runaway, he'd garnered enough guts to clearly express that it was over between them, had been for over a year, and could she please stop calling him from their nearest airport to tell him she'd randomly decided to fly up and see him...

So not stealth bridesmaid/MoH.. but a stealth guest.

I feel guilty because there was fuck-all that I could do to prevent her from going.

(Caveat: my daughter has an actual diagnosis of NPD, amongst other things. She's relatively stable now, but at the time, she was in full on flow of rage at his having fled... knowing what she's done to me and other family/friends, I do dread to think what caused him to pretend he was moving to another place in the village - but have an escape to the literal opposite end of the country in place. I sort of admire him for having that strength, actually - and I say that as someone who does love their daughter...)

@contrary13 god, she sounds completely bonkers. Feel bad for the young man, sounds like she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Hopefully enough time has passed for her behaviour to be one of those funny/batshit family legends for his side.

And you have a good sense of humour about the whole thing too!

hilarious thread - brightened my late lunchtime - haven't read all yet so don't know if string quartets have entered at all. Maybe just me, but I have a theory that over-elaborate weddings, particularly if they pander to the "curse of the string quartet" , don't bode well. Cycling around a few years ago I came across an entire field with a big banner at the gate saying "weddingfest". Got nattering to the mother of the bride who seemed to be project manager - can't remember if the whole mini glasto was being put up/taken down, but it gave me the shivers.
sorry - not a funny post - keep the funnies coming.

A wedding I attended several years ago was entirely vegan. It was made absolutely clear that it would be, well in advance, and also stated so extremely clearly on the invitations.
A couple who were friends of the family complained to anyone who would listen that it was 'not like proper food', that they should have catered for meat eaters and generally whinged about it. They left early to stop at the service station so they could get a beefburger.

FWIW, the food was filling, beautifully presented and delicious. There were at least 3 courses, plus canapés, and later in the evening, pizzas.

Lighten up for goodness sake!

I think we all understand the mechanics of tiered cakes thanks.

What do these strange people who are into 'cake smashes' do, if some of the tiers are fake? Do people find that they're expecting a big gooey, messy, sploshing party-type scenario, when in reality, it's not much more than jumping on delivery boxes to get them into the recycling bin?!

I don't think they tend to use tiered cakes, or even particularly large ones. The cake is chosen depending on its purpose. Tiered cakes are showpieces designed to be admired before being cut, cake smash cakes are for babies to splat around for photographs.

I don't think cake smashes are very popular any more anyway. They were a fad.

The one where we were given one drink and about two canopies from 12.30 - 5.30pm whilst the bride and groom bugged off with their families to take photos. Then we were called in for the wedding breakfast and everyone was starving. We had to sit through boring, quiet speeches (we were on the back table and couldn't hear a thing) before the food was served. I was also single at the time and was put on a table with other random singles rather than my own couple friends which was odd.

20 years ago, I was at a wedding as a single person. All the single people were placed at the same table, fair enough, but there was a toast to say "here's to the single people at table 9, may they find love". And everybody looked over pityingly, heads tilted, and raised their glass to us

@N0ëlle That sounds horrific and very smug marrieds' from Bridget Jones. I'd have probably eaten and left soon after. How patronising

I don't think cake smashes are very popular any more anyway. They were a fad.

I have only ever seen them in American films and videos not in the UK IRL

Whats wrong with having the speeches before the meal. Not all speech givers are that confident and many will be nervous. Get the formalities out the way before the meal and everyone can enjoy it

There is a LOT wrong with speeches before a meal if you have already been waiting 5 hours while they do photos.

Utterly inconsiderate and thoughtless.

Nothing, so long as you’ve given your guests enough to eat and drink to get them through until dinner time.

Portsmouth!

Er OK

@Sugarfree23 people are hungry food is ready to be served, kitchen waiting to clear it out, staff waiting to serve food, food sitting under heated lights getting dried up, schedule in kitchen thrown off dud to speeches taking forever. Absolutely hate speeches before the wedding and you can hear the groans from people at the tables when they realise speeches are 1st. last wedding i was at father of bride spoke for 20 mins, there was no bread left at all on the table and by the time my dinner came out is was all dried up.
For my own wedding speeches were at end, where everyone finished their dinner and tea and coffee had been served. So much more relaxed. Totally agree with @LittleMissUnreasonable speeches after the dinner

A year or too out of university (or some of us doing postgrads) when a friend got married. We didn't know the bride very well, they'd met at their respective uni. Wedding was announced - coastal part of the UK, a long way for all of us and not easy to travel to (few of us had cars then, multiple train changes etc) Was stressful as we were all skint at that age. Huge wedding as both had large extended families.

We assumed the wedding was where the bride was from. No, just turned out to be somewhere they'd been on holiday together and liked. So 200+ people trekking to the opposite end of the country for that reason.

That was just the start though. Ceremony was really early, I recall guests had to arrive for 9am. Lengthy (religious) service. We had some canapes around 1pm. Waited for transport to move on to the next venue, while the couple spent hours with the photographer. Few more canapes there. Sit down meal at 4. First course served at nearly 6pm. We were so bored, and hungry.

Groom hadn't warned us that fiance was very religious, and a pastor's daughter. The father of the bride did the service, and took every opportunity for lengthy speeches about his daughter, including pausing the evening disco for yet more religious lectures. We were all atheists. I've never been to a wedding that lasted 15 hours, and was it was so, so tedious.

20mins I could live my life without that.

My DDads was just under a minute. No way on this earth could he waffle on for 20mins.

I think it was "Thanks everyone for coming, wish these two the best and raised a toast"

@Sugarfree23 that's exactly what the father of the groom said after that speech. He said well its hard to follow that now 😂welcome to the family and everyone have a great night cheers. Everyone commented on it after about. god it was so boring. My father the same less than one minute done and dusted

@Curledupwithabook 9am start ? sweet Jesus and here i give out when i get a 1pm wedding.