To buy a home without a room for my MIL?

[Mastmw7g]

We're buying a home and I was excited, then DH told MIL that all the bedrooms will be upstairs and she said she can't walk upstairs to sleep. My parents said something similar-- that my stepfather has knee problems that make navigating stairs difficult. I was so excited before but now I feel downtrodden that our families don't share our excitement.

Why would you let the parents dictate what house you buy??

They don't get a say. Why do they need to access bedrooms anyway? Are they going to move in?

All of the bedrooms are upstairs in many, many, many, homes. This is not new.

You choose a home that best fits the people who will be living in it, not for occasional visitors.

Is it that they live a distance away so it’s much easier to stay over when they visit? If so I’d consider a sofa bed if there’s a room downstairs. If they are thinking of moving in, then thank goodness the beds are all upstairs!

They do visit, that's why they all were disappointed.

They don't live there, and I bet they didn't pay for it, either. They will have to get over it.

They could pay for a stairlift?

Then they can sleep on a fold out downstairs when they visit, if it's such a problem.

I'm having problems with my own parents refusing to share a room or bed when they visit here, so not feeling very sympathetic to parents right now. Sorry. :-)

Air mattress, couch.....????
That's ridiculous to let anyone decide for you where you live and what type of home.
That's manipulative.

Honestly, I’d consider the inability to have guests overnight a perk vs flaw, but I’m a dedicated introvert and overnight guests are an endurance test rather than something I enjoy.

That said, this is YOUR future home you and dh are buying. Nobody else gets a vote.

I hope your new house is a wonderful home for you and yours.

They can get up stairs if they want.
My dm is practically riddled with arthritis but has no choice but to go upstairs to her bed. She sometimes goes up on her hands and knees.
She’s 88!

It’s your decision about what house suits your needs best. However, I think the heading you have chosen is a bit unfair to your MIL. It’s not just your MIL who has commented on the stairs, it’s your parents too.

I think if they all visit regularly and need to spend the night then you do need to consider them. I bought a house with a downstairs toilet and a short flight of stairs specifically to make it easier for my parents.

Is there a down stairs bathroom and a sofa bed in a private room? That will do.
You could also consider repurposing one upstairs room to a living room while they are staying.

I am pretty anti social and would call this a result OP.

Definitely buy the house that suits you, not overnight guests.

How often are they visiting? Do they need to stay? Do you want them to stay? It’s difficult, you can’t spend £10000s you don’t have, but it would be nice to think through the practicalities if it is important. Is there an option for a nice sofa bed or day bed? Would they contribute?

Consider wether there is enough room for yourself to sleep and bathe downstairs should you be recovering from knee surgery etc.

There's some brilliant sofa beds now . We've had some excellent ones in lodges we've stayed in. You'll have to get a really good quality one of those . The expensive ones spring out into a full sized double bed .

They can all piss off. Are they paying for the house?

Ignore. No one buys a house to suit their parents/in-laws.

They each visit twice a year, for about a week at a time. I'll research sofa beds for MIL. My stepfather likes privacy and the only private rooms are upstairs.

Where are they travelling from? Sounds like a hotel needed for him?

They are not paying for the house. I need to remember that.

Are you expecting them to visit/stay with you? Does the new house make this possible? If not, then you can understand why they're not very excited can't you?

My son and I both managed it following acl repairs.