To buy a home without a room for my MIL?

[Mastmw7g]

We're buying a home and I was excited, then DH told MIL that all the bedrooms will be upstairs and she said she can't walk upstairs to sleep. My parents said something similar-- that my stepfather has knee problems that make navigating stairs difficult. I was so excited before but now I feel downtrodden that our families don't share our excitement.

He can pay the extra for a house with more rooms downstairs then.

People who can't manage stairs, buy bungalows not houses

So weird that they would even say that out loud.

They can stay in an Airbnb.

Seriously, why are you being such a people pleaser?

Would you want that as a permanent fixture in a living space to facilitate other people a few weeks a year?

That's very sad. She shouldn't be doing that. Aak for an occupational health assessment of her house. As well as going up, how is she getting back down? The risk of a fall, then a broken hip, is huge. She needs a stairlift or to move downstairs.

How much do stairlifts actually cost? I imagine they're expensive.

Can't she get a stair lift? Poor woman.

Although, that doesn't mean the OP's parents or MIL can do that. My uncle is a wheelchair user and couldn't get upstairs with all the will in the world.

I’m 75 with arthritis in my knee, I manage stairs, I have to. My staircase has a dog leg spiral halfway up, (four straight treads, four on the spiral and five straight up to the top), getting up there is interesting and I come downstairs side ways like a crab but I do it.
If step FIL needs privacy he’ll have to consider a hotel or travel lodge in future.

Will there be a good hotel nearby they can stay in if needed? Friends of ours just pay or their family to stay in hotels when they want to stay over. If there is something nearby might suit better than tailoring your house purchase for people staying?

So do they both live in bungalows?

Then they can pay for a hotel? They don't get a say for one week out of 52!

Why would they even say that, just controlling.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/care-services-equipment-and-care-homes/home-adaptations/

This poster (not op) can ask for a home assessment for their parent. They may get one free or have to pay depending on their circumstances

Their own home, maybe, but I can't imagine they're going to fund a stair lift because elderly people want to visit for a week or two a year. Maybe OP's parents and ILs can fund the lift?

Yes I meant the poster whose 88 year old nother crawls up the stairs every day. That poster can ask for an occupational health assessment for their mother

Thinking more of this quandry, why dont you and your family book a couple of caravans(one for you one for them) then go on holiday twice a year instead of them staying with you? This could solve the issue possibly? Or if they have issues staying with you in your new home then you all go stay with them in theirs?

oh yes, that poor woman. This should definitely be tended to asap.

Look in Rightmove for a property that fulls their requirements. Tell then the options are they put up with your choice, fund the difference or stay in a hotel. I guarantee they will suddenly decide you've chosen a lovely house.

Or put in a stair lift at vast expense

You need to buy a house which caters to your needs 52 weeks of the year, not others needs 2-4 weeks of the year. There are generally so many comprises involved to fulfill your own needs, adding bedrooms downstairs plus washing facilities will limited your choice massively.

Just go and stay with them instead - or aren't their residences big enough to accommodate you and your children? In which case, why are you even considering buying a property that needs to suit the needs of others for a few weeks a year when they haven't!

@Mastmw7g where they stay at the when they visit?

Not a chance. Even if a permanent member of the household can make it over the ever increasing requirements to qualify as needing a stairlift, they will have to pay for it themselves unless they are absolutely penniless.

@Mastmw7g Your parents and i-Ls are being ridiculous. We all know how difficult it is to get on the housing ladder and move up at your stage of life. If they wanted you to buy a house with a downstairs ensuite bedroom to use for 2-4 weeks per year then they can contribute the extra so you can buy a bigger house.

Otherwise their options are hotel, AirBnB or sofabed. At least you have a downstairs loo - most people don't in their first houses.

If they can manage the stairs twice per day then small children can bunk up for a week and they can have an upstairs bedroom and stay downstairs during the day.

I asked about a stairlift in my house in case my mother came to live with me. I was told it was about £4000. However, why would they want to have a stairlift there the whole time when people are only visiting for four weeks a year ?

A stairlift is one option. Not ideal, but an option.

Direct them to a nearby air bnb when they next stay. Problem solved.