School mum claiming her child has 'inherited' her binge eating disorder

[Geraniumgal]

My daughters class had an end of term tea party yesterday. Typical kids party foods were shared out. However one child was literally grabbing and eating every biscuit she could get her hands on.
This went on for over 20mins and I'm sorry to say it was upsetting to watch. The little girl is 7 and already clearly overweight.

Her Mum arrived to collect her and myself and a few parents mentioned her daughter had only really eaten the biscuits and cake so she knew she hadn't eaten a proper tea.
Mum just laughed it off basically claiming she seems to have inherited her own binge eating.

The child is 7! Is this in any way normal?

Why did nobody curtail her eating? Sounds like pure greed but someone will probably be along to suggest that she has Prader-Willi syndrome.

The Mum will be well aware of her daughter’s eating and may just not want to discuss them with a bunch of other school parents who are commenting on them, and so laughed it off and made a joke.

I think the parenting is wrong.

However, having said that, I have a number of food intolerances. I was the one who found out about it. Dd has many of the same. DM also found that if she followed me, her life was easier. DGM was dead before I found out about myself but I do know that she found eating sweet treats (eclairs etc) would cause problems later.

So, yes, I think food problems can be inherited but I do think that teaching basic manners and basic parental supervision may have helped. I would always supervise dd at parties, talk to hosting mother and provide appropriate substitute (I would’t bring safe pizza to a bbq etc) and offer a cake to share (no hosting mother says no to extra gf, df, egg free cake).

Well parents can pass on unhealthy attitudes to food to their own children, so a binge eater's child could "inherit" the tendency. The mum making light of it being a possibility is quite sad, though.

I'm surprised she was the only kid to only want the sweet stuff though, when I did these parties the only savoury foods that never had left overs was the pizza, the kids went nuts for the party rings cakes and sweets though!

I still remember my dad being miffed the year he insisted there be sandwiches and made some with cucumber and tomato garnish, only to watch them get ignored!😂

Having an overweight child is neglect. It's not meeting their need for a healthy diet. It needs to be taken more seriously.

I think I was most shocked that she labelled her child as having a binge eating disorder at 7 years of age!
I know I will get slaughtered for this but the Mum is clearly morbidly obese.
To me the little girl thinks this kind of eating is normal.

I wouldn’t have thought she could inherit it genetically, but perhaps she’s been told she can “pass it on” by modelling bad behaviour and she’s got this into her head as “it’s genetic” - when really the advice was the opposite!

Sounds like she tried to make a joke of it as she felt slightly ambushed by a group of parents who were commenting on her child's weight and eating habits.

There could be more going on here that she doesn't want to discuss with judgemental school mums. She probably saves that information for her family and friends. You clearly made her feel uncomfortable. Well done.

Oh come on,you don't give a shit about the fat kid and her fat mum, you just wanted to start a thread where we could all bash fat people 😆

Are you the child's dr? Do you think you have a right to a proper conversation about her child's fold habits? She probably was mortified by the group of bitchy women scrambling to tell her about the rubbish her fat daughter ate so made a joke to try and lighten the mood and get the hell out of there

Yup. You literally came and started a thread on a public forum about the poor kids and her mum. How very, very sad.

This
The mum may have been embarrassed and trying really hard to sort it out in the background

My point is if a child hears a parent using the term binge eating disorder to excuse excessive over eating it then normalises it for the child. It's not language that should be used around children surely?

Yes exactly.
I wonder if a skinny child with slim parents had gone mad at the sugary bits of a party if you would started a thread

The thread was started in relation to the Mum labelling her 7yr old child as having a binge eating disorder. Her exact words!

We had children who would hoover up party food. One family was one I knew well as the mother was a teacher at the school, and I know the children had a very restricted diet, no normal treat foods like crisps or biscuits were ever given even in moderate quantities - the mother boasted about it regularly - so everyone turned a blind eye as the children ignored the carrot sticks mummy had sent and ravaged the party rings and whotsits.

However, I think the parent in the OPs example was reacting defensively to a bunch of parents being pretend-caring smug. And who can blame her.

I know plenty of kids that hoover up food at parties. Some overweight, some not. Some with overweight parents, some not.

I’ve never really thought much of it tbh, less initiated a conversation with a parent and started a thread on Mumsnet to fatbash. Which let’s be honest, is what you’ve done.

However, I think the parent in the OPs example was reacting defensively to a bunch of parents being pretend-caring smug. And who can blame her

I agree

It's really difficult to know if there is an inherited metabolic condition, family habits, or just an obesogenic society in play - or rather, it's possibly all of them but impossible to tell from a snapshot which might be the most important factors.

But the mother is entirely right to use a brush-off line in these circumstances

But a group (A GROUP! FFS) fat shaming a woman about her daughter is okay in earshot of the other children?

You fat shamed a woman and her child and then came on here on boast about it, so you deserve everything you're about to get.

She was deflecting. A bunch of women came at her to tell her she has a greedy child. Making light of the situation was the only way out of there.

Bunch of parents commented on a child's eating to her parent. They put her on the spot. Wow. What a bunch of bitches with no awareness of socially appropriate conversations send their kids to that school. My child has toileting problems, thank goodness the other parents don't come up to me to mention my son had to change his shorts at sports day as he got distracted.

It was in no way fat shaming and was said privately.
It is and was very upsetting to watch. That child at 7yrs of age has clearly been brought up in a household of disordered eating. And if its normalised as binge eating by parents then to me its an excuse for abysmal parenting.

Hardly surprising we have an obesity problem in children judging by these replies.

Unfortunately in her house it probably is.