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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Prison visit TikToks

139 replies

Emptychairdoasolo · 02/07/2023 11:30

One video popped up a week or so ago and I watched it so now my feed is inundated with these videos. Young girls and women making videos like ‘get ready with me to visit my boyfriend’ ‘spend the day with me visiting my baby’ which was in fact their partner.

I absolutely do not begrudge men in prison having visits and I actually have very strong feelings about rehabilitation and safety in prisons, quality of life etc but AIBU to think this is just glamourising it?

For the younger girls and women 18-24 that I see, can use common sense and assume that the types of crimes their partners of the same age would be committing are assault, drug possession/dealing, drink driving. Hardly victimless crimes and it doesn’t sit right with me that they are putting that online for others to consume the videos and make a cutesy video out of it.

It makes me desperately sad reading the comments and so many people saying it’s their situation too and it’s girls so early into their adult life in relationships with these men.

OP posts:
BusyInTheGarden · 02/07/2023 11:36

Hmmm a lot of assumptions there op. A lot!!

Swrigh1234 · 02/07/2023 11:39

It is just one step down from reality tv and love island. Everyone needs their 15 mins of fame. Apparently. Don’t be desperately sad for them. They didn’t spend £££ on the fake lashes and garish hair extensions for sympathy.

Original poster
Emptychairdoasolo · 02/07/2023 12:39

BusyInTheGarden · 02/07/2023 11:36

Hmmm a lot of assumptions there op. A lot!!

About their crimes? 20 year old lads aren’t in prison for tax evasion are they?

OP posts:
Original poster
Emptychairdoasolo · 02/07/2023 12:40

Swrigh1234 · 02/07/2023 11:39

It is just one step down from reality tv and love island. Everyone needs their 15 mins of fame. Apparently. Don’t be desperately sad for them. They didn’t spend £££ on the fake lashes and garish hair extensions for sympathy.

I wear fake lashes and have bleach blonde hair myself. I don’t think that has anything to do with my point.

OP posts:
BusyInTheGarden · 02/07/2023 13:43

Young girls? Do you mean women?

If it's their partners that have committed the crime then they are doing nothing wrong. At all

JMSA · 02/07/2023 13:51

Well, they're hardly going to be brains of Britain ...

Againstmachine · 02/07/2023 14:23

BusyInTheGarden · 02/07/2023 13:43

Young girls? Do you mean women?

If it's their partners that have committed the crime then they are doing nothing wrong. At all

They are pretty dumb if making tiktoks and glorifying that they have a other half in prison, half of time they know what their other half is UpTo.

Also poor judges of character too, but I see much of people staying with scumbags.

HRTQueen · 02/07/2023 14:31

I work in rehabilitation

bad boys are a magnet for some women
often they are smart, confident and charismatic but that edge to them is exciting for some

we often have put in place safeguarding which in turn creates them against the system it has down be done but it often brings them together not the opposite (you would hope they would put themselves or their children first)

there are different reasons some have been manipulated, others have been in a relationship for some time and others just like the excitement of the bad boy that they can fix

Againstmachine · 02/07/2023 14:34

HRTQueen · 02/07/2023 14:31

I work in rehabilitation

bad boys are a magnet for some women
often they are smart, confident and charismatic but that edge to them is exciting for some

we often have put in place safeguarding which in turn creates them against the system it has down be done but it often brings them together not the opposite (you would hope they would put themselves or their children first)

there are different reasons some have been manipulated, others have been in a relationship for some time and others just like the excitement of the bad boy that they can fix

Some like the extra money they get from their other half being involved in crime.

HRTQueen · 02/07/2023 14:36

Yes there is that too

Wheredoistart78 · 02/07/2023 14:58

There are good people in prison.

Againstmachine · 02/07/2023 15:00

Wheredoistart78 · 02/07/2023 14:58

There are good people in prison.

Mostly that's very untrue.

BusyInTheGarden · 02/07/2023 15:02

@Againstmachine please can you expand on that .....

GiraffeDoor · 02/07/2023 15:02

There's worse than that on tiktok!

Wheredoistart78 · 02/07/2023 15:03

Mostly doesn't make it untrue.
I know someone currently in prison and he's one of the nicest people you could meet.

Againstmachine · 02/07/2023 15:05

BusyInTheGarden · 02/07/2023 15:02

@Againstmachine please can you expand on that .....

My post is self explanatory it doesn't need expanding.

Againstmachine · 02/07/2023 15:06

Wheredoistart78 · 02/07/2023 15:03

Mostly doesn't make it untrue.
I know someone currently in prison and he's one of the nicest people you could meet.

So why's he in prison then? Is he one of those innocents in prison.

BusyInTheGarden · 02/07/2023 15:07

@Againstmachine what a cop out

Againstmachine · 02/07/2023 15:09

BusyInTheGarden · 02/07/2023 15:07

@Againstmachine what a cop out

Well which bit you want explaining.

Wheredoistart78 · 02/07/2023 15:13

He's guilty, but a very good person.

Againstmachine · 02/07/2023 15:14

Wheredoistart78 · 02/07/2023 15:13

He's guilty, but a very good person.

Well he's committed a crime so he isn't that good a person. What sort of crim has he committed.

You sound extremely naive.

Sunnysunbun · 02/07/2023 15:15

It’s a strange thing. I’ve seen few. It’s amazing all these women are going to prison to meet men who were all set up or never did it.

BusyInTheGarden · 02/07/2023 15:23

Sunnysunbun · 02/07/2023 15:15

It’s a strange thing. I’ve seen few. It’s amazing all these women are going to prison to meet men who were all set up or never did it.

Well it kind of depends which prison they are in as they could be right!!

BusyInTheGarden · 02/07/2023 15:24

@Againstmachine
You are saying it's 'mostly untrue' that there are good people in prison

I'm asking what do you mean by that?

BusyInTheGarden · 02/07/2023 15:24

What are you trying to say?